No matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele, then, whenever someone asks if I play an instrument, I say...
“I play a little guitar!"
No matter how popular Spongebob Squarepants is
Patrick will always be the Star of the show
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter ?
If the Scottish and the Irish went to war, no matter the victor, both sides would have kilt it.
What’s the difference between the police response to Black Lives Matter protests and their response to the Capitol Hill riots?
Well, it’s black and white.
The owner of the Indianpolis Colts will be in trouble if he has to speak in court, because no matter what he says the judge will think...
In Illinois, it's illegal to have legal possesion over fecal matter of any sort.
Can't have shit in Detroit.
It doesn’t matter if you’re tall, short, fat, thin, rich, poor, at the end of the day....
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return, no matter how you throw it?
I don't know, but I'm tired of getting hit with these bananas!
No matter what shampoo I use, I can’t seem to get rid of my dandruff.
It’s a real head scratcher.
When a clogged drain killed his family, a clog far past the u-bend & far beyond justice, he knew had to take matters into his own filthy hands. He had to become...
My buddy Linux would always lead the lineup with a bunt and steal second shortly after. And no matter how bad I wanted to swing for the fences, if the batter before me didn't make first; coach would turn to me and say......
No matter how bad his career gets, why will you not see Rick Astley waiting tables?
Because he'll never run around and dessert you.
Some people relieve their sexual urge by taking matters into their own hands.
No matter how kind you are...
It doesn't matter if you're beautiful or ugly because.....
At the end of the day it's evening
A guy told me the size of my heart matters more than my physical size.
Good thing I went to the cardiologist before the gym.
Do degrees even matter as long as the person gets the job done?
It doesn't matter how good the soap smells....
Never come out of the public toilets smelling your fingers.
No matter how many times she tried, Sherlock Holmes' wife could never convince him to grow fond of her pet duck.
He was a master of the duck shun.
When you're at the urinals, it doesn't matter of you're French, German, Spanish or Swedish
No matter what I do, I just can’t seem to master the entire alphabet.
No matter what kind of pasta you throw in a black hole
It all gets spaghettified.
No matter what I do I can't get these pests to leave my house...
No matter how kind you are...
What’s big and grey and doesn’t matter?
Say what you want about carrot top, but fact of the matter is he’s out there making a living as a comedian
You gotta give him props for that
No matter how goth you are,
Melkor will always be Morgoth.
Sometimes nationality matters
No matter how stressful my day is, I always sleep like a baby.
I crap myself and wake up crying at least once each night.
It doesn't matter how much you push the envelope
It'll still be stationery.
A friend of mine always carries around a scale with him no matter where he goes. Anytime he meets a new person named William he throws them right on the scale. So one day I finally asked, "why do you keep doing this?" He replied.
"because where there's a Will there's a weigh."
What do u call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
irrelephant ...,,,,That was the most stupidest joke ,sorry
To all the women out there who say size doesn’t matter:
You are all extremely shallow
You matter
Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light ...
... then you energy.
I was just trying to enjoy a day out on the lake. No matter where you are, you can never escape the puns.
I explained to my wife, "Darling, it doesn't matter if your cup is half full or half empty, my point is..."
"You need to buy a different size bra!"
It really doesn’t matter if you can’t spell Armageddon
It isn’t the end of the world
It doesn't matter if youre straight, gay or bisexual
At the end of the day, its night
No matter how kind you are....
German children are always Kinder.
It doesn't matter if you're black or white, or gay or straight
At the end of the day, it's night.
No matter how kind you are...
German children are always kinder.
No matter how kind you are
German kids are always Kinder
No matter how kind you are
German Children are always kinder
No matter how nice your kids are ...
German kids are always Kinder.
No matter how kind your kids are
German kids are always Kinder
No matter how hard you push the envelope ...
It'll still be stationery.
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