I was in a taxi today and the driver said, "I love my job. I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."
Then I said: "Turn left here."
Why did the Taxi driver never get tips?
Despite going the extra mile, the clients were never happy.
I tried to tell a taxi joke...
What do you call a taxi cabs lifetime
I’ve been moonlighting as a taxi driver in London to get in a bit of extra money in. I’ve got a pick up late on the 24th at 221b Baker Street.
Looks like I’ll be driving Holmes for Christmas
Why did the old taxi driver scrap his car?
Being a dyslexic taxi driver is not difficult.
What noise does an exploding taxi make?
I bought a taxi, but failed my driver's license.
After all that work I have nothing to chauffeur it.
Why did the taxi driver quit his job?
Because he was tired of people talking behind his back.
(courtesy of Fozzie Bear, according to Kumail Nanjiani)
What's the difference between a taxi driver and someone who works on elevator installations?
One gives you a home lift and the other gives you a lift home.
If the end of the world happens, I want it to be hailing taxis.
I've worked really hard and only achieved becoming a taxi driver.
I can't believe that's all I have to chauffeur it.
a farmer drove his son into the market and dropped him off with $100. he told his son not to buy anything except for a cow. if he couldn't afford a cow, he should use the money to get a taxi home. the son sent pics to his dad all day of the ones he thought were good until his phone died.
he just got the most expensive one he could afford for $99.99. he asked to use the cow vendors phone to call his dad. the vendor replied "sure, for $5". the kid worked out a deal to send one text with one word for one cent. he sent his dad: "comfortable"
Which vegetable tells us how old a taxi is?
Why was the taxi driver fired?
He always goes the extra mile
What's the first thing the taxi driver said to the wolf?
With no buses, trains, or taxis in sight, and my wife going into labor, I figured the only solution was a piggyback.
But she refused to give me one.
I just got fired from my job as a taxi driver...
Turns out people don’t like it when you go the extra mile for them.
This place in Jakarta, Indonesia was a Taxi Pool last week
The Egyptian government has asked Cairo’s taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.
Operation Toot And Calm ‘Em will last a week.
Why is Darth Vader not allowed to drive a taxi?
Because he is not a tax-evader.
I just paid £25 for a 3 mile taxi ride to a launderette...
I feel like I’ve been taken to the cleaners!
As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried, "The baby's coming! Don't stop the car! I can't make it! DON'T! CAN'T! WON'T!"
"Driver, hurry!" I implored. "Her contractions are getting closer together!"
What do you call a taxi made out of vegetables?
When I hailed a taxi, the driver started insulting me.
"What was that for?" I asked, shocked.
To which he replied, "Hey, that's what I do best. I drive people away."
How does a carpenter catch a taxi?
Me: Dad, can you call me a taxi?
Dad: OK......Sorry Taxi, was there something else?
I said I wanted to book a taxi.
"How many of you are there?" he asked.
I said, "I'm the only version of me."
There were taxis falling from the sky
My friend and I both started taxi companies at the same time, but mine lasted longer.
I guess I drove him out of business...
I called a taxi driver today
I'm going to start an online taxi firm.
I just need to download the drivers.
I took a taxi home from the pub last night.
I bet the driver's livid that he doesn't have a car any more.
What do you call a taxi service for nerds?
How do you describe fake taxi in one word
I was in a taxi today and the driver said, "I love my job. I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do." Then I said...
Why was the taxi driver annoyed?
He was tired of people talking behind his back.
I was in a taxi the other day.
The driver said “I love my job, no one tells me what to do”
I said “Turn left.”
A wolf walks into a taxi
the driver asks: "where wolf?"
I was in a taxi today and the driver said, "I love my job. I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."
Then I said, "Turn left here!"
I just got fired from my job as a taxi driver.
Turns out people don’t like it when you go the extra mile for them.
What's the first thing a taxi driver said to the wolf?
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