The difference is like night and day.
It becomes DAYTROGEN!
A convexion oven.
Edit: This works a lot better if you spell "oven" correctly in the title...
The sun must be some kind of space heater.
"there are either predators or prey in the circle of life" explained the nun. "whatever an animal eats, it is called that animal's prey. for instance, rabbits eat lettuce - thus lettuce is rabbit prey."
"Sister, what is sunlight then?" asked a quizzical child.
smiling, the nun put her hands together and said, "lettuce prey".
One says to the other “Lets go eat our fill in seeds and worms.” They swoop down and do so.
Once all fat and happy they find a spot under a tree with the perfect amount of sun, and bask in the sunlight.
An alley cat rolls in and seeing the two birds. Thinking about how he hasn’t eaten in days, and sees two fat birds in front of him, he creeps up, and gobbles them in one fell swoop.
In the aftermath, he takes their spot in the sun, and as he’s laying down to nap he says “Man... I sure do love Baskin Robins.”
I was talking to a friend on Skype; at one point, I realised that I had to go to the bathroom.
"I'll be right back, I have to pee," I said.
"All right sure," she replied.
When I left, I put my laptop on the floor, the screen facing upwards, so as to avoid the ventilator being drowned by my duvet.
When I returned, I realised the webcam was pointing toward the ceiling, and I asked her:
"Did you find my ceiling interesting?"'
"Nah, I was looking at something else,"
And then, I saw my chance. It was glorious. Like golden wings borne on scarlet sunlight had brought me to Enlightenment, and I instantly replied with what is perhaps my greatest feat of pun yet:
"You know, that really hurts my ceilings."
Be careful what you purchase on eBay
Spent $50 on a penis enlarger.
Bastards sent me a magnifying glass.
Instructions said don't use in the sunlight.
*Yep, my dad sent this gem to me in the form of a forward email from my grandfather...
Group of us hanging out after class
Friend A: "I slept in till two today"
Me: "You missed all the sunlight! How do you get your Vitamin D?
Friend A: "I had a big plate of eggs after I woke up"
Friend B: "Eggs have Vitamin D?"
Me : "I guess if you cook them sunny side up"
You know you have a great dad joke when you are the only one in the room laughing
Mom: Wow, the moon is really bright tonight!
Dad: Weird, it's like it's reflecting sunlight or something.
This is my first post and one of the first dadjokes I've made. I shared this one with my friends after we had our first snow this year:
I've been very reflective today. Mainly because when the sunlight hit the snow and puddles, the reflections kept hitting me more than usual….
Quickly leave room