Itβs illegal to sell stocks from inside a bath of sparkling apple juice
Because that would be in cider trading
π︎ 89
π
︎ Apr 10 2021
what do you call a reptile with a stock portfolio? an invested-gator
or when he shows up immediately? an insta-gator
and if he's well-dressed? and in-vest-gator
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 24 2021
I should have bought stock in lumber, but hindsight is 2020
https://imgur.com/gallery/o6IZNXX
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 07 2021
My dad took me down to a garden centre to buy manure but they were out of stock.
We weren't taking shit from anyone that day
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 10 2021
The prosthetics store down the street ran out of stock...
Things are really getting out of hand...
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
I've decided to invest all my money in soup stocks
I want to be a bouillonaire.
π︎ 381
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
I I couldnβt get $GME so I got CHKN, BEEF, and VGTBL stock instead.
I hope to become a bouillionaire!
π︎ 44
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
My friend asked why the stock market is closed this Friday. I looked at him, shook my head and said...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
I purchased $1000 in Bose stock today
My accountant said it would be a sound investment.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
Did you hear about the chef who invested in stocks?
He became a bouillon-naire
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 07 2021
If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock
π︎ 639
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
I've started investing in stocks: beef, chicken and vegetable
One day, I hope to be a bouillonaire!
π︎ 172
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
Ever since the Death Star blew up, Anakin has taken to the NY Stock Exchange
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
I wanted to get some stock for this comedy studio
But most people called it a laughing stock
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 11 2021
Whatβs a stock traders favorite band?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
I was feeling lonely so I bought shares of GameStop stock.
I just wanted some company.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
A friend of mine told me he was looking to buy stock in Bose.
I told him it would be a sound investment.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
I made a FORTUNE in the stock market.
I walked in and stole some guy's Rolex.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
What do you call someone from Florida with lots of teeth who likes to spend money on the stock market?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
They told me not to invest in the stock market..
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
I should have bought GameStop stocks
but hindsight isn't 2021.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
I've got a friend who reckons he can make high cuisine out of stock cubes.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
Due to COVID-19, the German government is advising that people stock up on sausages and cheese.
They are preparing for a wurst kΓ€se scenario.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
My friend opened a tea store. He told me that every time he stocks the bottled tea products, they sell out within hours...
Business has been Brisk, baby!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
The German government is calling for everybody to stock up on sausage and cheese in case of a second lockdown.
It's the Wurst-kΓ€se-scenario
π︎ 54
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
These stock photo pun memes are the worstππ
π︎ 63
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
I'm raising money for a new row of shrubs by selling stock...
Would you like a few shares of my hedge fund?
π︎ 171
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
More stock photo puns from this silly siteππ Is that the girl from distracted boyfriend?
[ Removed by reddit in response to a copyright notice. ]
π︎ 123
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
I'm closely watching how this contested election affects the volatility of the stock markets.
I call it the "Al Gore Rhythm" method.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
Why does the Dalai Lama love to play the stock market?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
Since this is a βNanaβ tree (common name for Juniperus Procumens Green Mountain Juniper bonsai), it was suggested I have a βbaβ. Therefore, since the stock ticker for Boeing is BA, I bought a toy 787. That means there is now a βbananaβ on the counter.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
Yesterday, our boss Monty asked us to check the stock of vegetable shortening.
It was the count of Montyβs Crisco.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
Why do they sell red wine reduction in stock pots?
Because doing it yourself is a paste of wine.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 05 2020
Coronavirus having a devastating impact on the stock market
π︎ 73
π
︎ Mar 17 2020
Should I stock up on eggs before the next shut down?
I am having an eggs essential crisis.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 21 2020
I just wish, that I had made early investments in hand sanitizer, on the Stock Markets..
.. Somebody, somewhere, is rubbing their hands together.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
The stock market is confusing for me but
It makes cents for someone else
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 03 2020
I got really good writing stock characters. My secret?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
Why did Danny DeVito sell all of his stocks?
Turns out he's a short seller.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 01 2020
Iβve started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
π︎ 135
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
I've started investing in stocks...
Mostly beef, chicken, and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Aug 28 2019
Germany is now advising its citizens to stock up on cheese and sausages.
The Wurst KΓ€se scenario has arrived.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes laughing stock. Now that's humerous.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jul 28 2019
Germany is now requiring people to stock up cheese and sausages due to COVID-19.
This is called the Wurst-KΓ€se Scenario.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Apr 19 2020
If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock. Thatβs very humerus.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jul 15 2019
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