Why are dogs and seniors similar?

They both bark at anything thats on their lawn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoesMemories
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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Carnival is offering a deluxe trip where you leave your senior citizens and kids behind in the snow..

They are calling it β€œTed Cruise”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thehuggyduggy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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The senior prank didn’t sit well with the faculty members today. reddit.com/gallery/kd9axw
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jalen_Hurts2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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What do you call a senior-ranked military officer who offers nuggets of factual wisdom?

The Colonel of Truth

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CopsaLau
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I do really feel bad for the Class of 2020. People say your senior year flys..

I just didn’t realize it would Zoom..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/niloc12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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How does a senior manager from Texas greet his superior? /r/Big4/comments/jroq6k/h…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/windsor_ty
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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I know senior year usually flies by.

Didn't think it would Zoom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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I just got a senior management position at Old McDonald’s farm

I’m the C I E I O

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoody13
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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[request] puns with the word 'jenga' for senior jersey

So we're in year 12 of high school and we all get jerseys, including our year advisor teachers who've let us, the students, decide their jersey name. Usually the jersey name is a witty pun or joke which uses the wearer's name.

One of the teachers has a last name which sounds exactly like 'jenga' (that's not her name is really spelt, but it's to protect her identity), so I'll be need your help to get some good puns.

If you guys can't think of any, the other teachers last name is Daher (pronounced "darr"), so suggestions for her name would be nice too. Thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HolyHypodermics
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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I got myself a new seniors' GPS

Not only does it tell me how to get there, it reminds me why I went there in the first place.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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The local seniors care home rejected my offer to speak to residents about the advantages of being young in far-eastern countries...

apparently it is not "appropriate" to talk to residents about the benefits of youth in asia.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sludgemonkey01
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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I got my first senior discount at the seafood restaurant last night.

It smelled good but it tasted like caarp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guru_in_flannel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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I got a new job this week as the senior director of Old McDonald’s farm...

I’m the new CIEIO

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilobenny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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I hope you like my senior pictures.

Cause the people at the retirement home did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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For prom, high school seniors will have to video call each other

They need to practice social disdancing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaybram24
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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Senior Quote
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dravved
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2013
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Why do most senior citizens float?

Because they're just a hollow shell of what they used to be.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattJSharp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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What do you call a bunch of seniors with bad knees and poor vision?

Squeaky squat squad squinting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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My friend just finished his senior year of high school

I told him congraduations

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J24cihpsd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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A very old Mexican gentleman is a senior SeΓ±or.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLastJoe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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Seniors in private schools

Are part of the upper class

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hdeifh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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What do call a Senior Citizen when they use a Computer?

Elder Scrolls

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajmansell
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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Senior sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you." Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!" A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan_the_Man0904
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2017
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What do you call it when a senior works well past retirement?

Indentured servitude.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xrone22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
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My dad won "Most Likely To Surprise You" amongst his graduating senior class

Nobody saw it coming

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ghostwriter0o0o0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
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Senior Pitchers

Old guys playing baseball.

-or-

Antique beverage containers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2014
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Making the best of senior prom

As I'm sure many of you can remember (or not), senior prom was one of the most exciting events of our pre-real world existence. However, in order to get to the actual event, there were three significant steps that needed to be taken care of:

  1. Sober up enough before actually getting to the venue
  2. Find a date who wasn't even weirder than you were
  3. Rent a tuxedo This last part posed quite a bit of a problem to me, mostly because tuxedos can be very expensive to come by. Luckily enough for me, a local formalwear shop had a great deal going on; they would give you massive discounts and even hefty prizes for referring as many of your friends as possible to their business. Eager as I was to save a few bucks, I proceeded to text everyone in my phone's contact list. Almost every one of them neglected to respond to my pitiful pleas of financial assistance, not wanting to get caught up in this scam that I myself had meandered into. Finally, my token black friend, Malik, unwillingly took my bait. He tentatively responded, asking more about what he could get out of the deal for himself. After much persistence on my part, he finally declined, trying his best to let me down gently. As my poor little heart finally broke completely in two, I decided to alleviate the social tension, replying to him, "Alright man, well, suit yourself."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MinisculePeen
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2015
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I'm a senior in college

My class just voted me "Most likely to annoy his kids senselessly with 'dad jokes.'" I'm so proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderCunningham
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2014
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Just got a job as the senior director of the old McDonald farm

I’m the CIEIO

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RadiateHER
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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Just got a job as Senior Diector of Old McDonald's farm.

I'm their new CIEIO.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fukhed69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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Just got a job as senior director at Old McDonalds Farm..

I’m now the CIEIO

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeWhoNeedsNoName
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
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A very old Mexican gentleman is a senior SeΓ±or.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLastJoe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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