Me: Just added more watersoftener salt and now my mouth tastes salty....I guess you can say the salt aSALTed me.
Friend 1: facepalm
Me: Don't be so salty about this, it was only a lightly salted joke
Friend 2: The humor, it needs more seasoning!
Me: I'll give it more thyme to sink in.
But she says that a lot, so take it with a grain of salt.
I took it with a pinch of salt
Baked beans.
I needed more Thyme
Sloppy José
I bumped into my teenage daughter while carrying laundry down the hall.
D: I've been assaulted!
Me: I've been a-peppered! Haha!
D: Oh. my. god. You are the worst!
Me: It's not my fault you can't handle all this flavor!
Now she won't talk to me so I'm gonna go enjoy the solitude and play Skyrim.
A peppery punch, you might say.
What rookie fries eventually become...
You're pan-sexual?
We’ve got all wordplay for all your seasonal needs. You’ll have so much fun, you’ll never want to leaf. Do You want puns that really only work this time of year? We gautumn!
(Okay but actually those are my only two. In the spirit of fall disclosure).
I’m on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.
So I’ve decided to wait until next summer to cook it again.
The chess playing main character wants a Czech mate
Now I'm parsley disfigured
They're seasoned veterans
The judges said my entry was the best of all thyme.
(My 11 year old daughter thought of this)
Winter
Me (a seasoned dad): I can hear you just fine
I’d say he’s a seasoned pro.
Yep, my belly dunlaps over my belt.
that way you won't take any fall damage.
It's about thyme.
(This is my No-L greeting.)
It's seasonal
An eggnogstic
Before boarding the plane, he threw some salt off the flight bridge
After they landed, he tossed some paprika
On the next leg, some nutmeg and a pinch of cumin.
The flight crew saw the combination, there was only one conclusion they could make...
He was a seasoned traveler
Oreggaeno
Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?
There was noel
... And came home to us a seasoned Veteran.
Edit : To use a war pun.. " Wow, this really blew up " ...Thanks to all for contributing to this bit of fun. I feel like Granddad now with all the medals.
The seasoned comedian at a night club was telling the new guy, “If you want a good spot in the line up, you’ll have to suck up to the club manager.”
“No way! I’m no brown noser. In fact, I’m writing this into my next routine, that’ll show her.”
He went back to his room and started thinking and writing.
The next weekend the old comedian was surprised when the new guy was first up on stage. He went through his routine flawlessly, never saying a mean word against the club’s manager... In fact he thanked her repeatedly.
The old comedian was astonished and asked, “What happened?”
“Well I wanted to stand my ground, ...but, um... bum kissed”
He was a seasoned veteran!
A seasoned veteran
