A guy came into the store today and wanted a powdery substance that hardens when adding to water...

That's it... he gave no concrete details.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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I once got my toe nails professionally trimmed. They used a hardened steel tool for smoothing my clipped nails...

In other words, a pedi-file.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway...

Police advise citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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This just in: 2 robbers just hijacked a truck delivering a supply of viagra.

Everyone be on the lookout for 2 hardened criminals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
a viagra shipment was stolen

police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals

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πŸ‘€︎ u/samboooody
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Did you hear about the viagara truck hijacked in New York the other day?

The police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pazuzusboss
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Someone broke into the hardware store and stole all hardened steel tools cutting ridges for forming or smoothing surfaces...

All the files were deleted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news, plice van crashes into cement mixer

A police van carrying 12 convicts crashed into a cement mixer.

Police are now looking for a dozen hardened criminals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Viagra worth thousands of dollars was stolen from the pharmacy yesterday.

They are looking for hardened criminals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funchaloe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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We had an IDEA...

Back a few decades, I was working in a program with a local college in the Middle East.

The name of the program for ExPats has the clever acronym of "IDEA" (hey, I said it was clever); which stands for "Inter-Departmental Educational Adjunct". It's interdepartmental because my particular specialty not only covers field geology but also paleontology and a bit of archeology thrown in for good measure. Everyone hopes to have a good IDEA...

ahem...

Well, we saddle up and head for the Dune Sea out in the west of the country, where the Precambrian, Cambrian, Silurian, Cretaceous, Pliocene, Pleistocene, and Holocene crop out and access is relatively easy and non-injurious.

Well, we caravan out, some 30 Land Cruisers, Nissan patrol, and the odd Mitsubishi Galloper strong. We all get our maps, compasses and split up into 5 or 6 special interest groups ("SIG's"); where each IDEA has his own GPS and LIDAR laser ranging apparatus. Reason being, that there are very few benchmarks out in the desert, and even those are constantly at the mercy of the shifting and ever-blowing sands.

Since we're split into groups and at any one time, ranging up to and including some 50 km2, when a real find is located, a device called the "DIME" (Digital-Interface Monitor Encoder) is attached and programmed into the GPS for location later; it is a digital sort of low-frequency transponder, developed from technology used by offshore drillers and jacket setters where benchmarks are even more transitory.

The way it works is rather simple. When something is to be marked for later retrieval, a series of wooden posts are pounded in a triangular manner around the find and the DIME is set, programmed with the GPS and attached to one or more of the posts.

That's the theory, at least.

Everything works well, especially all the hardened electronics and computer gizmos, but attaching the DIME to the stakes is the real problem. It can't be nailed, screwed or fastened with any sort of metal contrivance as that farkles the magnetic field and causes all sorts of goofy spurious signals. Zip ties don't last long in the heat and duct tape is right out. Many sites have been lost to the shifting sands this way.

Velcro doesn't work too well, as the sand fills the hooks of the receiving piece of velcro and soon renders it useless. String or fishing line work, but that's temporary (they melt). Glue or mastic are out as these are supposed to be temporary. Even plastic sleeves don't work due to the heat out

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you ever hear of that penis superhero?

He hard on crime! He takes down all those hardened criminals! But he's soft and gentle with civilians.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnderFilms404
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Earlier today a prison transport collided with a cementtruck

The police is now on the look-out for five hardened criminals

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombiesAtHome
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the thieves that stole a whole truckload of Viagra?

The police are looking for hardened criminals

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sweaterlegs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2015
🚨︎ report
Bacon Puns

Why didn’t the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!


Whats green and smells like bacon? Β Kermit the Frog’s finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?


Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.


Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Β Kevin Bacon


If you can’t get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries


Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.


Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.


What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.


Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.


What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.


How do they get up there? In pigup trucks. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.


What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.


What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you’re bacon my heart melt.


What are they warned to watch out for? Pigpockets.


First Carter Page and now Betsy DeVos. Trump’s cabinet is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Russia.


Everything must be wrapped in bacon, including bacon.


If Kevin Bacon doesn’t whisper β€œHere comes the Baconator” before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost


I’ll acknowledge Canada Day when they finally acknowledge that’s not bacon


If Donald Trump really KNOWS the average WORKER then where are the pics of Trump hungover in 7-Eleven buying bacon in sweat pants?


This guy ordered a vegetarian sandwich and then added bacon. It was like watching someone have a mid-life crisis and then find a cool hobby.


If we don’t build a wall on our northern border, they’ll soon be maple syrup & Canadian bacon trucks on every corner.


I signed an Executive Order to make Saturday morning bacon and eggs and pancakes with triple butter and syrup non-fattening.


My bedroom smells like maple, bacon and beaver…because I’m Canadian.


When the waitress calls you Babycakes you know you’re getting extr

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mobsters arrested for peddling Viagra and Cialis?

(Showing me the paper today):

Did you hear about the mobsters arrested for peddling Viagra and Cialis?

It sounds like they were hardened criminals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greeneggsand
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2013
🚨︎ report
My dad said he got me icecream...

He handed me this bowl of ice-cream and it ended up being hardened "Great Stuff" insulation foam covered in chocolate.

Typical Dad prank....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yetti35
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2014
🚨︎ report
I dad-joked in /r/bitchimabus

> johnmal85

> Is there a subreddit with pictures of stuff in lava or hardened like this?

> > memorizemee

>> I'd try r/lava, but its pretty much dead.

> > > confluencer

> > > So are you telling me that /r/lava has cooled down?

> > > > memorizemee

> > > > God damn it...

Sauce: http://np.reddit.com/r/bitchimabus/comments/2ctipf/bitch_i_have_been_consumed_by_molten_rock/cjiwrjy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/confluencer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2014
🚨︎ report
Been sharing it ever since

Dad: Have you heard about the concrete truck that hit the penitentiary up the road?

Me: No, I haven't.

Dad: 12 hardened criminals escaped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/suedestacks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
🚨︎ report
Viagra shipment stolen

Cops looking for a bunch of hardened criminals

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rotimi_babalola
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A shipment of Viagra has been stolen

Police looking for hardened criminals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eplow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A cement mixer crashed into a police van carrying 12 criminals

The police are now looked for a dozen hardened criminals

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeevesPoltergist
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: An entire shipment of Viagra has been stolen.

The polices are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
🚨︎ report
β€œBreaking News”

A shipment of viagra has been stolen; The police are now looking for a gang of β€˜hardened’ criminals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bubblechief19
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A cement mixer collided with a prison bus today

Police have told locals to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J96x_Rob_LFC
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2017
🚨︎ report

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