Hardness Puns

But after all these years, it's still a Mr. E

Because they can’t reach their goals.

Ereptile dysfunction

I can't believe that's all I have to chauffeur it.

.....otherwise, they'd be known as Therewolves.

Because they think every check is check mate

He dismantles them for a living.

Critics are concerned about the use of artificial Swedeners.

I really expected to be set on fire more as an adult.

Because he had to support a whole household all by himself.

Pulp fiction.

It’s a hard knock life for him

He said, "It's a piece of cake!"

But it's just a curd to me

I have been walking on eggshells ever since.

Nowadays there seems to be a lot of stiff competition.

I was guilty of Mans laughter.

Too many lochs

Even though everyone says it's a breeze.

But it was over easy.

Which sucked, because I thought we needed the closure...

Too much MUMbling

They're extinct.

They can't read

It’s a mail dominated industry.

I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”

You just have to roll with the punches and look out for number one.

I don't know why he got so mad, sand is pretty hard to write on

There's no dental records & all the DNA matches...

She vented.

Bubble gum

"See ya later said the blind man!"

I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf and he’s struggling to put food on the table.