Spaghetto
It gets mugged every single morning.
A diamond.
They have pawsitraction!
...he tells the owner and bartender that he’s a surgeon down at the hospital and he just wants to forget about everything for awhile.
Dick knows just the thing. He quickly whips up a thick, exotic beverage and places it in front of the worn out doctor. He takes one sip and his eyes light up. “What IS that?” “That’s my signature almond daiquiri”, Dick tells him. The surgeon tells him it’s delicious, pays his bill and comes back the next day and the next day at the same time for the same thing: An almond daiquiri.
Before long, like clockwork, Dick is able to have it ready for him just before he comes in. But, one day as he is preparing the drink, he realizes that he’s run out of almonds! With no time to lose, he quickly substitutes the almonds with hickory nuts and sets the beverage on the bar.
The surgeon pops in, takes a big gulp, and immediately spits it all over the bar. He looks at the bartender and says, “That’s not an almond daiquiri, Dick!” And Dick says, “No, it’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc!”.
The spaghetto.
Boing
He was cap-sized.
h
It was a hard drive.
You’d think it’d be meow.
"Of coarse I do," I replied.
He really whiffed hard.
A little constipation here and there, but the hard part is over.
You’d think they’d be meow
But I think it's OK
Just as a matter of interest will Electricians be "self isolating" under the "current" situation and staying at "Ohm" ?
And I'm not a mourning person.
You can tell they're really going through it.
I took it for granite.
So my girlfriend and I are both in college and I'm at her dorm waiting for her to get ready for class. She takes off her glasses and starts looking through her drawer when she says "Aw why did I do this to myself? I ran out of contacts"
I go "Babe, if it's more friends that you need, we can go out tonight and meet new people"
After the usual eye roll she goes "No I wanna see"
To which I reply, "Why would you want a C? I'm shooting for at least a B or an A in all of my classes"
That was probably the heaviest sigh I've ever heard from her
There aren't any pachydermatologists.
They have to strip to make ends meet
It really is a tankless job
"Turn off the damn fans, I'm trying to fish over here and you are creating too much wind"...
groans ensue.....
Because time wounds all heels.
There's so much competition from uberdermists and lyftdermists.
cats always have a meowy Christmas
I want to go back to being a solid.
but it pays the bulls.
Your career is always going downhill.
She cut off ties to spite her man.
I said "because it was raised on the streets."
I woke up exhausted.
I lived in the gateau.
They told me I was fired three weeks ago.
I responded, "well it certainly isn't even."
