Santa Claus announced that he’s giving everyone the same gardening tool for Christmas.
I can’t really think of any gardening related jokes recently
Most of them are planted in the dirt tier
Over quarantine I’ve really gotten into gardening. I am especially enamored with growing chard varieties. So much so I’ve written a book of poems about their taproots.
I hope to one day be recognized as the beet poet of our generation!
My neighbour with big boobs was gardening topless in their yard again...
I just wish his wife would come out with him
How does Pacman do the gardening?
...With a weed waka waka waka
I wanted to start gardening but I have a problem
Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have ?
I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since
After a year of waiting, my publisher finally approved my book on gardening
I never really cared for gardening, but after planting a few seeds..
I was planning to get into gardening
But I haven’t botany plants
“I’ve always been afraid of gardening, but then I decided to grow a pear”
My ex- rapper friend decided to stop his gardening business because he was really careless with his tools.
He has hoes in different area codes.
Recently, I have started gardening and started to plant all my herbs in alphabetical order. People often ask how I find the time.
I tell them “it’s next to the sage”
My girlfriend really likes to cosplay as gardening tools.
Sherlock was gardening when Watson came over and asked what he was planting.
"A lemon tree, my dear Watson".
I went out to my shed to find my gardening tools were flirting with other gardeners
My neighbour with big boobs has been gardening topless all day.
I just wish his wife would do the same.
I've recently got into rock gardening
I got nothing to grow yet though.
I was terrified of gardening.
But I finally decided to grow a pear.
I was heading to the department store to pick up some gardening supplies and my wife asked me to pick up one of those tangle free hoses.
I guess she isn’t into the kinky stuff.
What do you call a Spaniard who's really into home gardening?
I’ve been doing some gardening lately
I went to the hardware store to pick up some plants and seeds for my garden, and my thyme seeds wouldn’t scan. The manager told me I could just have them, so I guess I’ve got some free thyme on my hands.
I’ve always been afraid of gardening.
But then I decided to grow a pear
Your Italian neighbour has a goose in his garden. You give him a second one. What does he have?
There is a gardening show coming to my town
When I found out I got so excited I wet my plants
What is the most popular gardening magazine in the world?
What do you call a book on DIY underwater gardening?
I like gardening, my wife not so much
She just like hoeing around
Gardening question: Anyone know a good place to buy a fern?
My friend just got a job at a gardening company
I wonder if he gets any leave time.
My experience gardening
I decided to grow a garden this year. Most of the plants grew really well, but one of my herb plants struggled and eventually died so I had to throw it out. It was thyme.
Someone should name their gardening shop "Plant Parenthood"
i started an insurance company for flower and gardening businesses...
it's called "oopsie daisies"
So we are working in the yard today and I look over at my wife and say, "You know what they say about gardening.....
I was gardening with my son...
We were digging out where the fish pond was going to be, and he went to get his sister to help because it was "fun for the HOLE family"
Saw my wife adjusting the top soil while gardening.
Me: This looks like a great detective novel.
You: You know. The plot thickens.
I'd love to get into gardening...
...now that I have more thyme on my hands.
Gardening Dad Joke
Me and the hubby were doing some gardening and I said to him "we need a wood stake" (so we could stabilize a tomato plant) and he replied "first we gotta find a wooden cow"...good thing ur cute babe :)
Gardening with my parents...
...when I was younger, and my dad asked me to "fetch me the hoe".
Neither him nor mum were impressed when I called mum over.
I asked my local gardening store what I should plant in my first garden.
They gave me some sage advice.
Just gardening when my uncle asks me a question.
"What are you planting?"
"Hostas, seedums and..."
"Yeah I see them 1-2-3-4-5."
Doesn't help much when my dad dropped a "Seedum grow" joke an hour before.
My gardening dad on Facebook
His latest status update:
"I am so excited about the spring weather this weekend that I wet my plants!"