My movie script went through a big change

Now its a trans-script

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAmazingSoSo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Failed my audition as Romeo but my copy of the script clearly said

"Enter Juliet From Behind"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnazS
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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A writer on The Good Place submitted the following list of restaurant name puns with the script for her episode. It includes gems like "Squab Goals" and "Pie Another Day." twitter.com/meganamram/st…
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
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I'm working on a new movie script.

The plot revolves around an MD whose patients all have unusual symptoms and need to be seen by a specialist.

Working title: REFER MADNESS

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grecianformula69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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What do i have in common with movie script writers

99.9% of the things i try to do gets rejected by everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Just_A_Footballer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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I told all the members of the dictionary that I was writing a script for them and they told me they were really excited to be in a film.

I don't have the guts to break to them that it was all for a play on words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Genoci4aL
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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I wanna write a movie script full of puns...

It’d be my screenplay on words

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistymountaindew
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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Working on a film script about a fizzy drinks shortage in the French capital...

Last Tango in Paris!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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""Comma"is called Unconscious in spain(no offense).A script from mind your language youtu.be/edgMaOhqi9w
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkheists
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
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I once wrote a theatrical script using Microsoft Office.

It was a play on Word.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spokandyland
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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Finally wrote the script for my movie called Clocks.

It's about time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Polmeh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2016
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An actor was writing a letter when he changed from cursive to standard lettering mid-sentence.

He went completely off script.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calm_Fan_381
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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These Jokes are terrible. Do you know what is more terrible?

Paper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kaaletram
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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To the people who hate on β€œscripted” videos...

Wait until I show you Netflix!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/liamvader1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Why Did The Cook Want to Become a Writer?

Because he wanted to flip the script!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dezorg
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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I want to make a procedural music generator with a custom scripting language.

Think I could tailor Swift?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KelvinShadewing
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
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A constipated man goes to visit his doctor.

"Doc, I haven't pooped in a week! Please help!"

Doc says sure, and writes him a prescription for a weeks worth of suppositories.

Man comes back the next day, "doc, I took the entire script last night, but nothing happened!"

The doc is shocked, as in his experience suppositories are very effective, and after taking a weeks worth he should have definitely had a BM. Oh well, the doc thinks, and gives him another weeks worth.

Guy comes back the next day. The doc says incredulously, "you've taken 2 weeks worth of suppositories in 2 days, and nothing happened?!?! What are you doing with them, eating them?!?!"

The man replies, "What'd you expect me to do with them, Shove 'em up my ass?!?!"



I don't know if this would normally be considered a dad joke, but it's my dad's favorite joke so I think it should count.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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I heard they're making a movie based on the game Tetris

Apparently it was due to start filming this year but writing the script was taking longer than expected as every time they finished a line it would disappear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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People believe we live in a computer simulation.

If so, our lives must be scripted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ict_1234
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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Computer Coffee..

I was telling my wife a story about a programmer that was able to run a computer script on a Coffee Machine.

It would brew the coffee for the person exactly as they reached the machine, my wife jokingly said, "he speaks computer coffee."

That is when Dad Joke came in and I said, you could say that he speaks Java.

She walked outside without saying anything and stared at the yard for a while.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scopecontro1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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I had neurosurgery in May. I wonder how long he was planning this... imgur.com/8E4ICUk
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mjr861
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
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My girlfriend told me to heat up the chilli in the fridge for dinner.

I asked if I wasn't better off heating up the chilli in the microwave. No response.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonnyBhoy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2014
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Toy story 4 used to have a scene where Woody's friends died.

They cut it from the script because it was too much of a buzzkill.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godith024
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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I am forced to wear glasses while programming

Just because I can't C#

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pinnouse
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2015
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This one caught me off guard.

We were discussing what kind of fruit we would be, if we were a fruit.

I said out loud: "If I were a fruit, what would I be?"

From the kitchen came: "A homosexual."

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
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When choosing fish at the fishmonger's

Fishmonger: "they're all good, pick your poison"

Me: "Don't you mean, Pick your poisson?"

Fishmonger: <wink> "Good one"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neowie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
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Everytime I get a haircut...

Me: Hey look I got a haircut.

Dad: Oh really which one? (Delivered with a straight face until he bursts out laughing almost into tears)

Every time like he has never said it before

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhatTheDuess
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2013
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Dad joked my gf!

While joking with her at dinner she called me mean. I replied "at least I'm average."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshvJericho
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2015
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If your name is Faim and you own a house, your hall would be the Hall of Faim.

The Script and will.i.am could be your flatmates

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisish2k
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
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Dad-joked my teacher today

So, today was my CNC class. For those that don't know what CNC is, it's basically the computer programming, and execution of automated machining and manufacturing. To program it, there is a very long script you have to write to tell the machine what to do.

He was reviewing his own code in front of the whole class, when he realized something, he's missing an R-plane. He says "Where is my R-plane?" I respond, "Probably at the R-port"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/She_Likes_Cloth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2014
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The Beatles must have thought they were pretty clever...

http://imgur.com/a/mAWgU

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πŸ‘€︎ u/soil_nerd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2014
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Dadjoked by My 9 Year Old Daughter

Scene: We are preparing for Trick or Treating tomorrow and picked out her costume. It included gloves in the costume.

Her: We need to go to the store so I can get different gloves for the costume.

Me: Didn't it come with gloves?

Her: Yes, but they didn't fit. . . Like a glove. . .

Me: Oh. Good. Lord.

Post Script. She knew she dad joked because after she asked, "Get it? Fit like a glove. . ."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacob_Marley
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2014
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Dad joked my state farm rep.

Her-"Sorry about the delay sir our computers are slow in the morning"

Me- "You should enable java script!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Virginiamudbrick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2014
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My 17 year old brother dropped this one today.

TV: "She is one of only a handful of people who can read the ancient script Cuneiform."

Brother: "They must be tiny."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Devduino
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2013
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Dad jokes of this generation.

context: I have arm tattoos that have lots of script.

Person "Oh, what do your arms say?"

Me "I don't know, I can't read. I was hoping you could tell me. hahahahaha."

I'm the only one who ever laughs. :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/usesdirectquotes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2014
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