28 Hilarious Schedule Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

When is the best time to schedule your dentist appointment?

Tooth hurty.

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👤︎ u/VentilatedEgg

📅︎ Dec 30 2020

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What did the herb farmer say when he was running behind schedule?

We’re in a thyme crunch

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👤︎ u/TheSquirrelyOne_

📅︎ Nov 23 2020

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I tried to schedule a time to go into my local library

They were fully booked!

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👤︎ u/TNormus

📅︎ Sep 24 2020

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I give myself 30 minutes in my daily schedule to do abs.

I call that time period Crunch Time.

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👤︎ u/Lol_u_ded

📅︎ Sep 25 2020

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Julie Andrews’ Daily Schedule: 1. Impersonate Homer Simpson 2. Read about bushcraft 3. Watch ludicrously silly play 4. Replace button on blouse 5. Start making coffee flavoured bread

D’oh, Ray Mears, Farce, Sew, Latte Dough.

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👤︎ u/Raoul24601

📅︎ Aug 23 2020

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When I came home from my first day at my new job my wife asked me what my new schedule was like. I said it looks like Rihanna...

...because all I can see is work, work, work, work, work...

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👤︎ u/Orkjon

📅︎ Sep 04 2020

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The project to restore Big Ben was a bit behind schedule, so the construction company put on a third shift...

Men are now working around the clock.

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👤︎ u/KW-DadJoker

📅︎ Jul 19 2020

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I used to work in a restaurant abnd my specialty was to make the icecreams and cakes, due to my busy schedule I had to quit...

Nonetheless they all call me a deserter

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👤︎ u/lowlz13

📅︎ May 16 2020

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What did the Minecraft developer say when he looked as his daily schedule?

Not a Nether meeting!

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👤︎ u/-the-BoneChurch

📅︎ May 02 2020

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I always schedule my dental appointments for the same time.

It’s always at tooth hurty.

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👤︎ u/weirdafbird

📅︎ Mar 05 2020

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When you schedule a blowjob you plan ahead

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👤︎ u/sombreknightrocks

📅︎ Mar 10 2019

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I’m really jealous of dentists’ schedule

They don’t have to go to work till tooth hurty.

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👤︎ u/JimboAACR

📅︎ Sep 27 2019

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The Other Day I Made A Sleeping Schedule

I Think You Will Find Quite "In-To-Resting"

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👤︎ u/GamerZWorld_YT

📅︎ May 31 2019

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Why can't I schedule an interview at the library?

They're all booked up.

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👤︎ u/xevetv

📅︎ Oct 17 2018

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I think this fairy is on its holiday schedule too

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👤︎ u/BobbysueWho

📅︎ Jun 01 2018

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I always try to schedule my dentist appointments for 2:30

The receptionists don't find it as funny as I do.

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👤︎ u/ihasanali

📅︎ Nov 07 2018

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What do you do when you get beheinz schedule?

You ketchup.

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👤︎ u/VRMac

📅︎ Dec 19 2014

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I've been sick the last few days and my sleep schedule has been pretty erratic. I didn't even the time change.

The missing hour just flu by!

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👤︎ u/Sir_Gnome

📅︎ Mar 11 2018

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My girlfriend is trying to change her sleep schedule.

Her: Changing your sleep routine is really hard. Me: Yeah, I bet it's really deeply embedded.

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👤︎ u/KiiWii2029

📅︎ Aug 21 2016

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Google Allo can schedule you dad jokes daily.

Google Allo comes with what they are calling Google Assistant. You can ask it to tell you jokes and so far they are all like dad jokes. What's more you can have it schedule a daily delivery at a certain time.

For example here are some:

> Why did the coffee taste like mud? >> Because it was ground just a couple of minutes ago ☕️

> How do you get over a fear of elevators? >> Just take some steps to avoid them!

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👤︎ u/exaltedgod

📅︎ Oct 14 2016

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"Our product will be released according to a fixed software schedule"

That's much better than a broken software schedule.

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👤︎ u/Propane13

📅︎ Jan 31 2017

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Flight was ahead of schedule.

Friend's girlfriend: Man, we are really making good time.

Friend: Yeah, this pilot is really flyin'.

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👤︎ u/AhhScroon

📅︎ Jul 29 2014

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Tried to schedule a date with my girlfriend at my local library

But it was all booked

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👤︎ u/actuaryvsp

📅︎ Jun 16 2020

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When is the best time to schedule a dentist appointment?

2:30

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👤︎ u/professorf

📅︎ Jul 03 2020

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What time do dentists recommend as the best time to schedule an appointment?

2:30

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👤︎ u/HiddenPictures

📅︎ May 05 2020

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What time did the dentist schedule his appointment?

Tooth Hurty

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👤︎ u/CryptoJonny

📅︎ Dec 06 2018

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What's the best time to schedule a dentist appointment?

ToothHurty

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👤︎ u/nugmasta

📅︎ Jan 08 2019

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When's the best time to schedule a dentist appointment?

At 2:30

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👤︎ u/davicrocket

📅︎ Aug 19 2017

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