โ Rico Premium Rice Paper โ have a rice day
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︎ Apr 07 2021
My doctor has discovered that I'm allergic to rice.
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︎ Mar 21 2021
Went out and took pictures of wheat, oats, rice, and corn...
Unfortunately, they all came out pretty grainy. One of them you could barley make out.
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︎ Feb 18 2021
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︎ Mar 03 2021
What is the happiest kind of rice?
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︎ Feb 16 2021
Just opened a Christmas card and rice fell out.
Must be from my Uncle Ben.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
My trademark for extremely small grains of rice was rejected
Not sure why. I call it "Minute Rice" and it only takes about an hour to cook.
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Why did the Japanese brewer take fermented rice to church ?
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︎ Nov 19 2020
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.
But my Brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.
I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
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︎ Nov 26 2020
I was telling my friend that brown rice is the same as white rice, but with a criminal record....
He thinks I'm a riceist for saying that.
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︎ Nov 29 2020
What does rebellious rice always do?
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︎ Nov 01 2020
Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...
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︎ Dec 15 2020
I love Basmati rice....
I could eat it Tilda cows come home.
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︎ Nov 30 2020
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze.
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︎ Feb 21 2021
So the other day I ordered some Kung Pao chicken, but I think it came with a side of pasta instead of rice
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︎ Nov 09 2020
Have a Rice Day!
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︎ Aug 22 2020
The Mafia killed a man in a rice field because of a dispute over a small trinket
It was a knick-knack paddy whack
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︎ Aug 20 2020
A Mafia hit-man was arrested for killing a man in a rice field with a porcelain figurine.
The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack
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︎ Jun 27 2020
What do you call someone who only eats white rice?
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︎ Sep 13 2020
I almost made a huge mistake applying to Rice University.
I'm really a meat and potatoes kind of guy.
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︎ Oct 03 2020
Selenaโs New single, Rice Cream
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︎ Aug 28 2020
Tennis player Sampras needed rice wine and sent me to buy a bottle without giving me cash...
For Pete's sake, I guess he wants me to pay for it myself!
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︎ Sep 29 2020
My wife said she prefers brown rice
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︎ Jul 21 2020
Last night I had a dream that I ate a 50 lb marshmallow.
This morning I woke up and my pillow was gone.
Today is the 13th anniversary of my father passing and this was my favorite joke that he used to tell. Enjoy.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
My son refuses to eat rice if it in not white.
I said โSon, thatโs ricest!โ
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︎ Jun 28 2020
Just got back from the supermarket - there was a guy rushing round the shop who had brought 15kg of paella rice, 5 cases of tequila, 8 sombreros and 12 piรฑatas.
I thought to myself, Hispanic buying.
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︎ Apr 04 2020
Dad joke
What did the rice say to the shrimp? Don't wok away from me.
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︎ Mar 31 2021
All rice!
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︎ Apr 29 2020
Iโm going to start a brand of rice wine and Iโll call it for fucks.
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︎ Jul 03 2020
What do you call cereal that you hate?
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︎ Jan 24 2021
What is Spiderman's favourite brand of rice?
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︎ Feb 18 2020
I heard that Marvel is now sponsoring Uncle Ben's rice and changing the picture to Peter Parker's uncle.
The new slogan is "With great power comes great rice possibilities."
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︎ Jun 17 2020
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
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︎ May 22 2020
During quarrantine I've really perfected how to make some heavenly rice.
I boil the hell out of it.
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︎ May 14 2020
The girl at chipotle asked if I like white or brown rice
I told her that sheโs rice-ist
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︎ Apr 21 2020
My dadjoke for the day
My wife (japanese) was preparing her breakfast which for her usually includes numerous small dishes and rice. Well she announced to me.
"I'm not eating rice today."
I immediately replied "Honey, you cant say that."
"That's Rice-ist"
Cue eyeroll
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︎ Mar 01 2021
How do you know your Rice Crispies are stoned?
They go, "Snack, Popple, and Crap!"
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︎ May 29 2020
What was Hitlers favourite part of a curry?
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︎ Feb 25 2021
My girlfriend hates brown rice and only eats white rice.
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︎ Feb 09 2020
I hope it doesn't get sticky again...
Told my wife that every time I cook rice I get separation anxiety.
She facepalmed and sighed and at that moment I thought this might be a worthy contribution to the subreddit.
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︎ Feb 19 2021
I really like shrimp-fried rice.
Itโs amazing how they can hold that big skillet in their tiny little claws.
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︎ Apr 24 2020
And together, we will rice
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︎ Sep 10 2019
What did the fried rice say to the shrimp?
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︎ Jun 04 2020
I Just opened a card and a load of rice fell out the envelope
Itโs was from my uncle Ben
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︎ Jun 26 2020
A hit-man was arrested for killing a man in a rice field with a porcelain figurine.
The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack.
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︎ Jul 08 2020
I donโt get why minute rice advertises that itโs โminuteโ.
Itโs just as small as other rice.
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︎ Jun 19 2020
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