My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type
As he died, he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.
Remember to lift your left leg up off the ground during the New Years countdown
So you can start the New Year off on the right foot
Edit: Thanks for the silver
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Can anyone remember. . ..
....the chiropractor joke I put on here about a week back?
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?
Now you mention Botox and no one even raises an eyebrow.
I still remember my childhood quite fondly, when dad used to roll us down the hill inside car tires.
Those were the Good Years.
I never remember what people tell me at New Year's parties
It goes in one year and out the other.
I Can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman Numerals
My son and I were waiting at a train crossing. He tells me "that train looks bigger than I remember"
So I say, "It's been training"
Welcome to 2021 everyone, and remember hindsight is 2020.
Yes, I've been waiting a long time to use this.
Happy New Year! Remember kids, you need to make some good resolutions to become a better version of yourself.
If you don’t, they’ll just go in one year and right out the other.
Remember when air was free at the gas station, now it’s $1.50. You know why?
Remember the good old days, when we used to eat cake, after someone blew all over it ?
Remember when Albert Einstein lost blood supply to his brain?
It was a real stroke of genius
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Remember when I made that joke about the chiropractor?
I told it about a weak back.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
Do you guys remember that Chris Farley SNL sketch where he played the timid interviewer guy?
Trying to remember a joke about boomerangs I heard as a kid...
Hopefully it’ll come back to me eventually.
Old Farmer: If you want your crops to grow, you must remember to fertilize your land properly.
New guy: That sounds like bullshit.
Farmer: Yes, exactly.
My wife told me today that when I got her food order, that I need to remember to ask for cheese or they wouldn’t add it.
I told her if they forgot the cheese again, it wouldn’t end very Gouda for them!
Everyone remembers the historical figure Karl Marx
But no one has ever heard of his sister Onya, who invented the starting pistol
Talking with my brother: “Hey remember when we would see how far we could jump off the staircase?”
“That just sounds like leaping off ledges with extra steps”
Neither of them remembers what the Japanese call seaweed.
I’ll always remember what my dad said before he kicked the bucket.
He said, “Hey! How far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
I entered my sons room and said, "Remember, boy, masturbating can make you go blind."
"I'm over here dad." He replied.
What do you call a bird who never remembers song lyrics?
I remember the first time I used a dictionary...
It was a defining moment in my life.
Remember Spider Pig from the Simpsons movie? I figured out his secret identity!
Remember boys, if your girl looks like this, she's a kiefer.
I can still remember the time I undercooked my French bread.
i remember the first time i got stabbed with a balisong
i had butterflies in my stomach
I heard this i while back don’t remember where its from, sorry if it seems butchered(longish)
One day a loving husband and father of 2 sons comes home, one of the sons asks him to come upstairs, so he comes upstairs and his son says“dad, im gay” the father, surprised says “well, okay, i still support you son”.
The next day the father comes home to his other son asking him to come upstairs, he goes and the son also comes out as gay, the loving father says “both you and your brother, i wont have any kids, but, i still support you”........ ........ ........ ........ ........ ........
The father then walks down stairs to go and play with the family dog(male) and finds him in the backyard humping the neighbors(also male) dog. The father walks back into the house and exclaims
“Does anyone in this house like women”.
His wife taps him on the sholder
What’s the worst thing you can remember doing when drunk?
I remember I came home one night and fixed a dartboard to the ceiling.
Spent the rest of the night throwing up.
I remember having rocks thrown at me because I was a nerd in high school.
As they hit me, I thought, “that’s not gneiss.”
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang,
But eventually it came back to me.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type
As he died he kept on insisting for us to “be positive”, but it’s hard without him.
I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman Numerals
As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way....
I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
Does anyone remember the joke I posted about the chiropractor?
It was about a weak back.
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type.
As he died, he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.
Does anyone remember the joke I made about the Chiropractor?
It was about a weak back...
Remember when they used to have air at the gas station for free? Now it’s $1.50
Does anyone remember the joke I made about the Chiropractor?
It was about a weak back...
I remember my childhood quite fondly, when Dad used to roll us down the hill inside car tires.
Those were the Good Years.
Remember that joke about the boomerang?
I can never remember the Roman Numerals for 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500...
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
