How does a duck swim from one side of the pond to the other?

Very Quackly

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2021
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What do you get when you combine a deer, an ant, and a pond?

Stagnant water.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/asfreeformasanamoeba
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2020
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I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keeps attacking him.

I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2020
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Why should you never ice skate on a duck pond?

Because the ice might quack.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Foamy07
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2020
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A woman fell into Walden pond last night.

Fortunately she was rescued after a Thoreau search.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19 2020
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Why are there no ducks on the pond at Buckingham palace?

Because it is for no bills only

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HueyLameass
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2020
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Whenever I walk out to my backyard pond

My fish first pop out to say hello, but then quickly retreat to cover. Then they'll tease like they're coming out again, but then they'll shy away.

What makes them act so coy!?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FightMilkLLC
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2020
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James Pond
πŸ‘οΈŽ 143
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/petarkefa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 04 2020
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A stone thrown into a pond in 1990 has been wet for around 30 years.

Let that sink in.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dinner_cat96
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 28 2020
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I showed my friend my pond, including the best fishing spots and the place where the bank drops off...

I wish the First National would stop sending their packages to my pond's address...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
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Seen at Walden Pond
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/whirleychurley
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2020
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Frog ponds 🐸

Q: How deep is a frog pond?

A: Knee-deep! Knee-deep!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/svn380
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 17 2020
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I think the ducks in our pond need help

They’re addicted to quack

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DreamMoverAndShaker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 21 2020
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Well, well, well Mr. Pond.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Blizzrobe777
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2019
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We couldn't find any ducks at the duck pond this morning

They were gone before quack of dawn

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yatzhie04
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2020
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the names pond
πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/weesome
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2019
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I called my local aviary owner and asked if she had any water birds for my new backyard pond.

She told me she had a bad experience with some water birds and doesn't sell them anymore. I angrily told her that a real aviary owner would sell water birds too. >!She said she and has no egrets.!<

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spooninacerealbowl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2020
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A goose talking to duck at the local pond. β€œMy husbands gone away for a few weeks to Africa”. β€œOh really.” Says the the Duck β€œUganda?”...

β€œNo I’m a goose. My husband is a gander”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2020
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Snuck a photo of my neighbors pond

It was a koi move

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/snuzet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 17 2019
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My name is Pond
πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hintsandallegations
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2019
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What do you call a fake pond fish?

A dekoi.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2019
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The names pond, James pond.

I’ve got a license to krill.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Alexander-HamonChez
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 03 2019
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James pond
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SamTheDuck59
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2019
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Did you hear about the thief who jumped into the fish pond?

People said he was very coy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/abdic8
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 04 2019
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What do you call ducks that steal from their pond?

Robber ducks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GaMonkey07
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2019
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Back of the pond
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NickSkye
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2019
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There's a beaver in my pond

But I don't give a dam

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wawoodworth
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2019
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I was really angry with my friend for building a walkway over my pond...

...I’ve forgiven him now. It’s just water under the bridge

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Harry_Mote
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2019
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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in a pond?

Bob

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RadicalPaganism
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21 2018
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I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him..

Guess that's what I get for having a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 110
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zurcatnas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2020
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I cant take My dog to the pond anymore cuz the geese keep attacking him.

I guess thats whats I deserve for having a Pure bread dog

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tgm810
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2020
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I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.

Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/anshbob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31 2020
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I can't take my dog to the pond any more, the ducks keep attacking him.

I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DalinarxBlackthorn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 07 2020
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I can't take my dog to the pond for exercise because the ducks keep attacking him

That's what you get for buying a pure bread dog

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 29 2020
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We can't take our dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him...

Guess that's what we get for buying a pure bread dog...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2017
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I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him..

I guess that's what I get for having a pure bred dog

πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Armyman194
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2019
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I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him...

Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 224
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 27 2019
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I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.

Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 115
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/One_Day_Dead
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 17 2019
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I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him....

I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tekprojekt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 28 2019
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I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.

Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kaio-renwar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2019
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I can't take my dalmatian to the duck pond anymore

I guess that's what you get for having a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/This_Guy_Is_Weird
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2019
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I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.

Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 02 2019
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How deep is a frog pond?

Knee-deep.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2019
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