Dam

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says β€œdam” πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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after the dam failed, the engineer thought he'd lost his job for sure

but at the performance review he was consoled by his boss, "it's all just water under the bridge"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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Harvard University just ran a study proving 74% of the countries have flawed dams and it was dismissed

because it didnt hold water

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amigodojaspion
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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I have to go to the Dam Store again. Forgot the milk
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThackerOpinions
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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Dam it, Steve
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fragileteeth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2017
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I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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Ba dam tss
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pikerpoler
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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Oh god dam!
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πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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Why can Kylo Ren be seen driving Gold Carts around Hoover Dam

Because he’s Adam Driver

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyDogYawns
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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My wife just joined an activist group called DAM

Mothers Against Dyslexia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/remixclashes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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My reaction when I take a trip to the Hoover Dam and the temperature breaks 100Β°
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swanberet
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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Two fishes swimed into a concrete wall. One turned to the other and said dam!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RubinKhadka
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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Why do people of Athens hate waking up so dam early?

Dawn is tough on Greece.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManicMick420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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Those dam beavers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihodzereze
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
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What do you call an otter living in another otter’s dam?

A squ-otter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dens382
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
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Dam
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tockelford
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2017
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Cast your vote, bitches (dogs, sires, and dams too)!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EvenBetterCool
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
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I heard the Hoover Dam is cutting back on janitors due to budget cuts.

It's a dam dirty shame.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pixelplated
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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What did the Father beaver say to his son’s first built dam?

β€œDAAAMMMM SON!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peanut31
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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SchrΓΆdinger's Dam
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinie_Snipah
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
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Make all the dam jokes you want

I'm a chaperone for my wife's (5th grade teacher) trip to a local dam...

W: I can't get a hold of the people at the dam to remind them we're coming today.

Me: They're probably backed up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skermy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2015
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What do you call a country that will always have the most dams?

An eternal dam nation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dreamcast3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
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My girlfriend's son was telling me about finding a dead mole near the dam he and his Mom were exploring earlier in the day...

To which I replied: "Hmph. Somebody must have whacked it."

Girlfriend rolled her eyes so hard she must have seen her brain.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2016
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Actual quote by a sheriff at the Oroville Dam news conference:

"This is a fluid situation, obviously..."

context: http://www.kcra.com/article/evacuation-orders-issued-for-low-levels-of-oroville/8735215

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matt111098
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
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Do you know why they call them "Beaver Dams?"

Because when the forest rangers discover them, they go, "darn beavers!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkPiscean
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2016
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Got my girlfriend for the first time at the Hoover Dam!

I asked her what time it is and she said "We are in the pacific time zone now so..." And I said "well that's very S'Pacific'! And a moan ensued and then she said "let's just pretend you didn't just say that". I would call that a success!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bitingpuppy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2015
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What's the difference between a Lake and a Dam?

Lake I give a Dam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beltox2pointO
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2015
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I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam programme I've ever seen.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mattasaurusrrex
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/steve_es
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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