Pizza place played puns perfectly
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyaroused
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
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So I just found out that Chad Kroeger from Nickelback, loves to taking part in Nativity plays. He’s been a shepherd, the inn keeper and one year, he even played the rear end of the donkey...

But he never made it as a wise man

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guac__is__extra__
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2021
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Why should you enjoy the music being played at the entrance of a hotel?

Because it's foyer entertainment.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chacham2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2021
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The home football team played against a team of tongues.

We got licked.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FearTheCheese203
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2021
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Did you hear about the eggs that played a football game?

Their quarterback got scrambled

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/foggyhead93
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2021
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I asked a Frenchman if he played video games.

He said Wii.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2021
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What game two intelligent dogs played when they got bored

the game of chase.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2021
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The actor who played Captain Kirk is coming out with a new fashion line.

It’s called Shatner Pants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2021
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Apparently the actor that played Darth Sidious in the Star Wars movies had a heart disease while the movies were being made.

The rest of the cast nicknamed him Emperor Palpatate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/STANKY_SEA
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2021
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I'm convinced that the music they played at high school dances is part of the reason our generation struggles to maintain long-term relationships.

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afishisborn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2021
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what do you call an instrument played on halloween?

a spookulele

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/okkb00mer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2021
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Did you hear about the ram who always played tricks on his wife?

The jokes on ewe!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2021
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My friend, Jennifer, was telling me she played a poker game where the prize was a Louis Vuitton handbag.

"Genuine?" I asked.

She said, "No, second place unfortunately."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2021
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Daughter: For gym today we played basketball and for art we painted

Dad: who are Jim & Art?

Daughter: They’re CLASSES!

Dad: oh, like brothers? Jim and Art Class?

Daughter: Stares with the hatred of a thousand Gen Zs…

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elusivblak
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2021
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Did you know baseball was played back in ancient biblical times?

That’s why the Bible starts with β€œIn the big inning....”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/02K30C1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
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Whale played.
πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampoo_and_dick
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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During testing of a new version of Mars rover, a cat entered the test track and was run over. However, the cat was resuscitated when one staffer played a Benny Benassi hit track. A NASA representative has stated...

...that it was a pity that Curiosity killed the cat, but Satisfaction brought it back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HJUOWPLBKV
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2021
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I have played piano for years. I used to play by ear

It sounds much better now that I use my hands

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImprudentGoose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
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Back in college, I majored in philosophy and played on our department’s intramural soccer team.

While we were pretty smart, on game days we often Foucault our soccer tees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/caverypca
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I played Disturbed at the gym's playlist...

Everybody went down with the fitness

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πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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My wife played Jesus in the Easter play at church.

Some of the more traditional members were uncomfortable with her cross-dressing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InfiniLim413
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!

Then I realised I was playing the bee side.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheifsup
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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A baseball player was shopping at the dairy while in a bad mood. He'd played in a home run derby yesterday; though he got more runs than anyone else, another player was awarded the trophy. While in line at the register, the lady in front of him was short on cash. He decided to do a good deed, so...

The bitter, better-batter bought her butter!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pthelynese
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
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I played slow pitch for the first time in a couple years last night and this morning I woke up super stiff.

My body was really sore as well!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTommyGooner14
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2021
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I figured out the secret chord that David played!

It's Gsus

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
My mom played the clarinet in high school. She mentioned she wanted to play again, but doesn't have the money to waste on it. I ordered one for her birthday and left her a subtle clue.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalJunkie101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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I recently played in a Star Wars themed cricket match.

Every time the ball was delivered the Umpire struck back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeomanroach
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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One of my friends played guitar while drunk…

Then he got in a Fender bender.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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Why is 'Careless Whisper' played in so many hot scenes?

It is a rather saxy song.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darthcactus2100
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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I never played football but people used to call me Messi.

Ah! I guess, I should clean my room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elonlawn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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Played a game with friends...was not disappointed!
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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A shout out to the guy who played the triangle with our band for the last few years...

Thanks for every ting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you guys remember that Chris Farley SNL sketch where he played the timid interviewer guy?

That was awesome

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin

I told him that I had fiddled with it

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darhkling
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally played dad instead of dead when encountering a bear

Now it can ride a bike without training wheels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pepenaman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Played us like a fiddle
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chaotix_OzOne
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!

Then I realised I was playing the bee side.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClaraLaraMeadie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I Figured out the secret chord that David played!

It's Gsus

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Got a vinyl album the other day on wasp sounds. Played it, didn't sound anything like wasps!

Turns out I was playing the bee side

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2canVANdam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report

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