Pizza place played puns perfectly
So I just found out that Chad Kroeger from Nickelback, loves to taking part in Nativity plays. He’s been a shepherd, the inn keeper and one year, he even played the rear end of the donkey...
But he never made it as a wise man
Why should you enjoy the music being played at the entrance of a hotel?
Because it's foyer entertainment.
The home football team played against a team of tongues.
Did you hear about the eggs that played a football game?
Their quarterback got scrambled
I asked a Frenchman if he played video games.
What game two intelligent dogs played when they got bored
The actor who played Captain Kirk is coming out with a new fashion line.
It’s called Shatner Pants.
Apparently the actor that played Darth Sidious in the Star Wars movies had a heart disease while the movies were being made.
The rest of the cast nicknamed him Emperor Palpatate.
I'm convinced that the music they played at high school dances is part of the reason our generation struggles to maintain long-term relationships.
If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago.
what do you call an instrument played on halloween?
Did you hear about the ram who always played tricks on his wife?
My friend, Jennifer, was telling me she played a poker game where the prize was a Louis Vuitton handbag.
"Genuine?" I asked.
She said, "No, second place unfortunately."
Daughter: For gym today we played basketball and for art we painted
Dad: who are Jim & Art?
Daughter: They’re CLASSES!
Dad: oh, like brothers? Jim and Art Class?
Daughter: Stares with the hatred of a thousand Gen Zs…
Did you know baseball was played back in ancient biblical times?
That’s why the Bible starts with “In the big inning....”
During testing of a new version of Mars rover, a cat entered the test track and was run over. However, the cat was resuscitated when one staffer played a Benny Benassi hit track. A NASA representative has stated...
...that it was a pity that Curiosity killed the cat, but Satisfaction brought it back.
I have played piano for years. I used to play by ear
It sounds much better now that I use my hands
Back in college, I majored in philosophy and played on our department’s intramural soccer team.
While we were pretty smart, on game days we often Foucault our soccer tees.
I played Disturbed at the gym's playlist...
Everybody went down with the fitness
My wife played Jesus in the Easter play at church.
Some of the more traditional members were uncomfortable with her cross-dressing.
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
A baseball player was shopping at the dairy while in a bad mood. He'd played in a home run derby yesterday; though he got more runs than anyone else, another player was awarded the trophy. While in line at the register, the lady in front of him was short on cash. He decided to do a good deed, so...
The bitter, better-batter bought her butter!
I played slow pitch for the first time in a couple years last night and this morning I woke up super stiff.
My body was really sore as well!
I figured out the secret chord that David played!
My mom played the clarinet in high school. She mentioned she wanted to play again, but doesn't have the money to waste on it. I ordered one for her birthday and left her a subtle clue.
I recently played in a Star Wars themed cricket match.
Every time the ball was delivered the Umpire struck back.
One of my friends played guitar while drunk…
Then he got in a Fender bender.
Why is 'Careless Whisper' played in so many hot scenes?
It is a rather saxy song.
I never played football but people used to call me Messi.
Ah! I guess, I should clean my room.
Played a game with friends...was not disappointed!
A shout out to the guy who played the triangle with our band for the last few years...
Do you guys remember that Chris Farley SNL sketch where he played the timid interviewer guy?
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it
I accidentally played dad instead of dead when encountering a bear
Now it can ride a bike without training wheels
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
I Figured out the secret chord that David played!
Got a vinyl album the other day on wasp sounds. Played it, didn't sound anything like wasps!
Turns out I was playing the bee side
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