I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.
      I've just handed in my too weak notice.
        π︎ 8k
         
        
        
        π
︎ Oct 22 2020
        
       
      
     
      Did you know Cardi B has a sister who is a personal trainer?
      
      
        π︎ 51
         
        
        
        π
︎ Feb 18 2021
        
       
      
     
      I got my own personal concierge today
      It opened a lot of doors for me
        π︎ 6
         
        
        
        π
︎ Apr 03 2021
        
       
      
     
      Did I tell you guys about the side-hustle plan I came up with? Iβm going to do personal training for the band that recorded βLolaβ and βYou Really Got Meβ. Itβs a good plan...
      I just have to work out a few Kinks.
        π︎ 5
         
        
        
        π
︎ Mar 26 2021
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      I asked my personal trainer at the gym, which type of machine I should use to make myself more attractive to women?
      He suggested, the cash machine .
        π︎ 5
         
        
        
        π
︎ Mar 17 2021
        
       
      
     
      My girlfriend broke up with me when she walked in on me making out with my personal trainer
      She said "This isn't working out."
        π︎ 62
         
        
        
        π
︎ Jan 14 2021
        
       
      
     
      My personal trainer was upset at me because I kept using the same machine at the gym
      It was the vending machine
        π︎ 28
         
        
        
        π
︎ Jan 31 2021
        
       
      
     
      What's the difference between a stolen miniature diorama for your personal library and an incredibly surprising but cliched erotic fantasy about Peregrin of the shire?
      One is a shelf insert book nook for fiction fans that you took and the other is a self-insert fan fiction took book that got you shook.
        π︎ 3
         
        
        
        π
︎ Jan 30 2021
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      With all the personal battles we had to go through last year
      I guess we can finally say 2020 won :/
Happy new year people!!
        π︎ 5
         
        
        
        π
︎ Dec 31 2020
        
       
      
     
      I did my personal best in the 100 metres today...
      
      
        π︎ 7
         
        
        
        π
︎ Dec 10 2020
        
       
      
     
      Iβm tired of defending myself for being an anti vaxxer. Itβs a personal preference.
      I donβt vax my floors. I donβt vax my chest hair, and I certainly donβt vax my legs.
        π︎ 30
         
        
        
        π
︎ Sep 29 2020
        
       
      
     
      What did the hardware store employee use to steal personal information?
      
      
        π︎ 9
         
        
        
        π
︎ Oct 12 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      I'm a personal trainer for members of 1960's rock bands.
      I'm still working out the Kinks.
        π︎ 10
         
        
        
        π
︎ Oct 18 2020
        
       
      
     
      Yesterday, one of my good friends told me that I often make people feel uncomfortable by violating their personal space.
      It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.
        π︎ 68
         
        
        
        π
︎ Jul 03 2020
        
       
      
     
      I often hide my personal stuff in an electric socket
      It's a shocking place to find them
        π︎ 7
         
        
        
        π
︎ Oct 06 2020
        
       
      
     
      So I walked in on my wife having sex with her personal trainer:
      And i knew right away that this isnt working out
        π︎ 109
         
        
        
        π
︎ May 10 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      Personal Update...
      Can't share on a Public Platform.
        π︎ 3
         
        
        
        π
︎ Oct 10 2020
        
       
      
     
      I used to be Pennywiseβs personal trainer!
      Unfortunately it didnβt work out...
        π︎ 7
         
        
        
        π
︎ Aug 02 2020
        
       
      
     
      Why didnβt the man book an appointment with the doctor who said she only accepts patients with personal gifts?
      
      
        π︎ 2
         
        
        
        π
︎ Aug 01 2020
        
       
      
     
      My personal trainer is really good!
      He gives me a run for my money
        π︎ 12
         
        
        
        π
︎ Jul 14 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      I have a personal trainer and him and I do a lot of resistance training
      He tells me to lift something and I say no
        π︎ 7
         
        
        
        π
︎ Jul 12 2020
        
       
      
     
      Mike Literis is a personal favourite
      
      
        π︎ 23
         
        
        
        π
︎ Jun 07 2019
        
       
      
     
      My personal driver has died recently
      Guess I'll have to update the driver
        π︎ 10
         
        
        
        π
︎ Mar 23 2020
        
       
      
     
      I asked my personal trainer for another way to work my trapezius muscles besides doing pull downs...
      He shrugged and walked away.
        π︎ 9
         
        
        
        π
︎ Mar 05 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      Why is my bank account like a personals ad?
      When I click on it there are fewer singles than I expected.
        π︎ 5
         
        
        
        π
︎ Feb 13 2020
        
       
      
     
      I started with a personal trainer today. She told me to drop and give her 20.
      Sheesh, I didnβt know there was going to be hidden fees.
        π︎ 4
         
        
        
        π
︎ Oct 23 2019
        
       
      
     
      Seven days without a pun, just beat my personal record. I am now feeling very..... week.
      
      
        π︎ 34
         
        
        
        π
︎ Mar 28 2019
        
       
      
     
      When a Meteorologist takes a personal day, what does he tell his boss?
      I'm feeling a little over the weather.
        π︎ 7
         
        
        
        π
︎ Dec 12 2019
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      What do you call a Parisian pancake maker who asks too many personal questions?
      
      
        π︎ 8
         
        
        
        π
︎ Apr 08 2019
        
       
      
     
      I feel like I really canβt tell whatβs gonna happen next year. Movies, politics, my personal life. I canβt predict anything
      Itβs like I donβt have 2020 vision
        π︎ 13
         
        
        
        π
︎ Jun 29 2019
        
       
      
     
      I hear jewish personal trainers are the best.
      
      
        π︎ 8
         
        
        
        π
︎ May 06 2019
        
       
      
     
      
      
      
        π︎ 2
         
        
        
        π
︎ Apr 08 2019
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      After an intense session at the gym, I asked my personal trainer what was the best way to show off my new muscles.
      He told me to hang upside down from a tree branch and curl my arms behind my back.
I said βweird flex but OKβ
        π︎ 5
         
        
        
        π
︎ Nov 10 2018
        
       
      
     
      Got hired at a gym recently as a personal trainer but it wasn't working out...
      I had to put in my too weak notice.
        π︎ 38
         
        
        
        π
︎ Mar 14 2019
        
       
      
     
      I asked my personal trainer to give me a discount...
      He said I'll try to stretch your money
        π︎ 4
         
        
        
        π
︎ Jul 14 2019
        
       
      
     
      I accidentally downloaded the Square app for store owners instead of the one for personal use
      My dad- "You had no business signing up for that."
        π︎ 1k
         
        
        
        π
︎ Jun 24 2015
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      What do you call a dentist's personal ship?
      
      
        π︎ 25
         
        
        
        π
︎ Feb 28 2019
        
       
      
     
      A customer called today looking for "organic, vegan, free-trade personal lubricant"
      I've finally found a way to beat my meat cruelty free.
        π︎ 11
         
        
        
        π
︎ Dec 21 2018
        
       
      
     
      My personal trainer said I should start doing calf raises.
      I can barely lift up my cat, let alone a baby cow.
        π︎ 17
         
        
        
        π
︎ Jul 31 2018
        
       
      
     
      I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because Iβm not big enough or strong enough
      Iβve just handed in my Too weak notice.
        π︎ 13k
         
        
        
        π
︎ Jun 13 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      I have a plan for a new side-hustle. Iβm gonna do personal training for members of the band that recorded βLolaβ and βYou Really Got Meβ. Itβs a good plan...
      I just have to work out a few Kinks.
        π︎ 6
         
        
        
        π
︎ Feb 15 2021
        
       
      
     
      TIL that Cardi B has a sister. Sheβs a personal trainer.
      
      
        π︎ 19
         
        
        
        π
︎ Nov 17 2020
        
       
      
     
      Whoβs Cardi Bβs personal trainer?
      
      
        π︎ 15
         
        
        
        π
︎ Sep 27 2020
        
       
      
     
      I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer and I don't think I'm quite fit enough for the job.
      Therefore I've handed in my 'Too Weak Notice'
        π︎ 40
         
        
        
        π
︎ Jul 09 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      Did you know Cardi B has a sister who's a personal trainer?
      Yeah, her name is Cardi O
        π︎ 5
         
        
        
        π
︎ Jul 10 2020
        
       
      
     
      Did you know that Cardi B used to be a personal trainer?
      Back then she went by Cardi O.
        π︎ 38
         
        
        
        π
︎ Dec 26 2019
        
       
      
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