I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.

I've just handed in my too weak notice.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hobo4lifee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know Cardi B has a sister who is a personal trainer?

Her name is Cardi O

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrillinGorilla
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I got my own personal concierge today

It opened a lot of doors for me

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AFudgeBrownie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Did I tell you guys about the side-hustle plan I came up with? I’m going to do personal training for the band that recorded β€˜Lola’ and β€˜You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...

I just have to work out a few Kinks.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked my personal trainer at the gym, which type of machine I should use to make myself more attractive to women?

He suggested, the cash machine .

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend broke up with me when she walked in on me making out with my personal trainer

She said "This isn't working out."

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
My personal trainer was upset at me because I kept using the same machine at the gym

It was the vending machine

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a stolen miniature diorama for your personal library and an incredibly surprising but cliched erotic fantasy about Peregrin of the shire?

One is a shelf insert book nook for fiction fans that you took and the other is a self-insert fan fiction took book that got you shook.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketsocks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
With all the personal battles we had to go through last year

I guess we can finally say 2020 won :/

Happy new year people!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LAL99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I did my personal best in the 100 metres today...

85 metres.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m tired of defending myself for being an anti vaxxer. It’s a personal preference.

I don’t vax my floors. I don’t vax my chest hair, and I certainly don’t vax my legs.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karatesauce
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the hardware store employee use to steal personal information?

A Hacksaw.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm a personal trainer for members of 1960's rock bands.

I'm still working out the Kinks.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jkpianocomposer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, one of my good friends told me that I often make people feel uncomfortable by violating their personal space.

It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nathan0492
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I often hide my personal stuff in an electric socket

It's a shocking place to find them

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacob_crozier
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
So I walked in on my wife having sex with her personal trainer:

And i knew right away that this isnt working out

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/torreador13
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Personal Update...

Can't share on a Public Platform.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/babar_s
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to be Pennywise’s personal trainer!

Unfortunately it didn’t work out...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeathySpaghetti
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the man book an appointment with the doctor who said she only accepts patients with personal gifts?

He was asimptomatic.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sinnoh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My personal trainer is really good!

He gives me a run for my money

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kpax
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a personal trainer and him and I do a lot of resistance training

He tells me to lift something and I say no

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DwelveDeeper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Mike Literis is a personal favourite
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sarmadkh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My personal driver has died recently

Guess I'll have to update the driver

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nintendant42
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my personal trainer for another way to work my trapezius muscles besides doing pull downs...

He shrugged and walked away.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is my bank account like a personals ad?

When I click on it there are fewer singles than I expected.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I started with a personal trainer today. She told me to drop and give her 20.

Sheesh, I didn’t know there was going to be hidden fees.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whitebeaks
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Seven days without a pun, just beat my personal record. I am now feeling very..... week.
πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
When a Meteorologist takes a personal day, what does he tell his boss?

I'm feeling a little over the weather.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VNPimpinella
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Parisian pancake maker who asks too many personal questions?

Crepe-y

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deter86
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I feel like I really can’t tell what’s gonna happen next year. Movies, politics, my personal life. I can’t predict anything

It’s like I don’t have 2020 vision

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cttaylor97
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I hear jewish personal trainers are the best.

They muscle tov.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Parisian pancake maker who asks too many personal questions? reddit.com/r/dadjokes/com…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deter86
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
After an intense session at the gym, I asked my personal trainer what was the best way to show off my new muscles.

He told me to hang upside down from a tree branch and curl my arms behind my back.

I said β€œweird flex but OK”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Got hired at a gym recently as a personal trainer but it wasn't working out...

I had to put in my too weak notice.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevingcp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my personal trainer to give me a discount...

He said I'll try to stretch your money

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I accidentally downloaded the Square app for store owners instead of the one for personal use

My dad- "You had no business signing up for that."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticommando
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dentist's personal ship?

A tooth ferry.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drockffs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A customer called today looking for "organic, vegan, free-trade personal lubricant"

I've finally found a way to beat my meat cruelty free.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotagoK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
🚨︎ report
My personal trainer said I should start doing calf raises.

I can barely lift up my cat, let alone a baby cow.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I’m not big enough or strong enough

I’ve just handed in my Too weak notice.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Aarsh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a plan for a new side-hustle. I’m gonna do personal training for members of the band that recorded β€˜Lola’ and β€˜You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...

I just have to work out a few Kinks.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
TIL that Cardi B has a sister. She’s a personal trainer.

Her name is Cardi O.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tctitan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Who’s Cardi B’s personal trainer?

Cardi O

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThunderAlex2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer and I don't think I'm quite fit enough for the job.

Therefore I've handed in my 'Too Weak Notice'

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know Cardi B has a sister who's a personal trainer?

Yeah, her name is Cardi O

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsolinkable
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Cardi B used to be a personal trainer?

Back then she went by Cardi O.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cypherdev
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report

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