I asked my personal trainer at the gym, which type of machine I should use to make myself more attractive to women?

He suggested, the cash machine .

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2021
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My personal trainer was upset at me because I kept using the same machine at the gym

It was the vending machine

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I_Only_Have_One_Hand
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2021
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What's the difference between a stolen miniature diorama for your personal library and an incredibly surprising but cliched erotic fantasy about Peregrin of the shire?

One is a shelf insert book nook for fiction fans that you took and the other is a self-insert fan fiction took book that got you shook.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rocketsocks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2021
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I have a plan for a new side-hustle. I’m gonna do personal training for members of the band that recorded β€˜Lola’ and β€˜You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...

I just have to work out a few Kinks.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2021
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With all the personal battles we had to go through last year

I guess we can finally say 2020 won :/

Happy new year people!!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LAL99
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
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I did my personal best in the 100 metres today...

85 metres.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2020
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What did the hardware store employee use to steal personal information?

A Hacksaw.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheNocturnalCarrot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2020
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I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer and I don't think I'm quite fit enough for the job.

Therefore I've handed in my 'Too Weak Notice'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 09 2020
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Why didn’t the man book an appointment with the doctor who said she only accepts patients with personal gifts?

He was asimptomatic.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sinnoh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 01 2020
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I hear jewish personal trainers are the best.

They muscle tov.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2019
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After an intense session at the gym, I asked my personal trainer what was the best way to show off my new muscles.

He told me to hang upside down from a tree branch and curl my arms behind my back.

I said β€œweird flex but OK”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2018
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I accidentally downloaded the Square app for store owners instead of the one for personal use

My dad- "You had no business signing up for that."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarcasticommando
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2015
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My personal trainer said flexibility is the foundation of good fitness...

I guess that all's well that bends well!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2019
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The word β€œbatman” is used to refer to someone’s personal servant. So, Alfred is actually Batman’s batman
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Inkspotty
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2017
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I know it's boring to shop for vacuum cleaners, son, but remember, the Beach Boys had the same difficulty while deciding on a brand for their own personal vacuum cleaner. I can remember their words now...

"A Roomba? Makita? Ooooh! I want Eureka!"

He avoided me for the rest of the day.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/someauthor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2018
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The former NBA commissioner was persuaded to buy a family gym package that included unlimited personal training sessions...

After the trainer vowed she would leave no Stern untoned.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/whosevelt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2018
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I took some personal documents I had to the gym today

So they could get shredded

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Monkeytravler
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2018
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