Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.
There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.
I've just handed in my too weak notice.
A chemist froze himself to -273.15°C and everyone called him crazy but personally,
To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?
What do you call a person who eats other people slowly?
According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a person’s aura changes when they die.
A person who crushes can for a living is always sad
Because his job is Soda pressing
If you stink up another persons bathroom, you’re an asshole.
I'm Buzz Aldrin, second person ever to step on the moon.....
What do you call a person who points out the obvious
The person who points out the obvious
What does a blind person say when you give them sand paper?
What do you say when someone roasts a person with reddish-brown hair?
Give a person a fish and you will feed them for a day
Teach that person to use the internet and they won’t bother you for weeks
Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely
To the person that stole my copy of Microsoft Office
I will find you, you have my Word
To the person who took my iPhone off the dinner table, when I was distracted.
I hope you face time soon.
How many cats does a IT person own?
The person that invented Knock Knock Jokes
Should get a no bell prize.
Do degrees even matter as long as the person gets the job done?
What do you call a spiritual person on Halloween?
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
To the person who invented 0...
What do you call a person who makes dad jokes but has no kids?
I went back in time to kill the person that made bread.
Now he yeasts to exist.
One I came up with myself
Once upon a time in numberland, a three-person race was held
In it took part the Minus sign, and the numbers zero and -2. All three ended the race at precisely the same time.
-2, Minus Won; 0 Won Too.
(Reddit, I am counting on you to make this stupid joke popular!)
I had to choose between three cats. The first was super affectionate, like a dog. The second prefers to be alone all the time. I picked the third, whose personality is somewhere in between.
I named him Meat Loaf because he would do anything for love, but he won’t do that.
I personally find Tinder not that great of a dating service.
A person that works faster than expected always has extra time on their hands.
The same is true for clocks.
(PSA: Remember to correct yours tonight, as applicable.)
I’m tired of defending myself for being an anti vaxxer. It’s a personal preference.
I don’t vax my floors. I don’t vax my chest hair, and I certainly don’t vax my legs.
If one person being sleepy is called tired, what would four people make?
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
A person who cannot see is known as blind, a person who cannot speak is known as mute. So, what do you call a person who cannot hear?
Anything you want to call them, they cannot hear.
I personally think that beekeeper suits are ugly as hell, but hey...
Beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
What do the British call a person who uses the toilet too often?
What did the person who discovered the wheel say?
What a revolutionary discovery!
What did the hardware store employee use to steal personal information?
Why was the dumb person on the roof of a bar?
Someone told them the drinks were on the house
There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
I used to be blind but I cured it. My wife was the first person I saw
It was love at first sight.
What do you call a person without a body or nose?
What do you call a person who eats other people slowly?
What do you call a deaf person ?
I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I’m not big enough or strong enough
I’ve just handed in my Too weak notice.
To the person that invented the number 0
To the person who stole my Microsoft office licence ,I will find you
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