Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.
There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
π︎ 22k
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.
I've just handed in my too weak notice.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
A chemist froze himself to -273.15Β°C and everyone called him crazy but personally,
π︎ 19k
π
︎ Sep 11 2020
To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Aug 27 2020
What do you call a person who eats other people slowly?
π︎ 155
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a personβs aura changes when they die.
π︎ 150
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
A person who crushes can for a living is always sad
Because his job is Soda pressing
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
What do you call a disabled person lying
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
If you stink up another persons bathroom, youβre an asshole.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 03 2020
I'm Buzz Aldrin, second person ever to step on the moon.....
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
What do you call a person who points out the obvious
The person who points out the obvious
π︎ 132
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
What does a blind person say when you give them sand paper?
π︎ 40
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
What do you say when someone roasts a person with reddish-brown hair?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
Give a person a fish and you will feed them for a day
Teach that person to use the internet and they wonβt bother you for weeks
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
To the person that stole my copy of Microsoft Office
I will find you, you have my Word
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
To the person who took my iPhone off the dinner table, when I was distracted.
I hope you face time soon.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
How many cats does a IT person own?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 29 2020
The person that invented Knock Knock Jokes
Should get a no bell prize.
π︎ 65
π
︎ Oct 12 2020
Do degrees even matter as long as the person gets the job done?
π︎ 352
π
︎ Aug 03 2020
What do you call a spiritual person on Halloween?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
To the person who invented 0...
π︎ 68
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
What do you call a person who makes dad jokes but has no kids?
π︎ 46
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
I went back in time to kill the person that made bread.
Now he yeasts to exist.
One I came up with myself
π︎ 19
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
Once upon a time in numberland, a three-person race was held
In it took part the Minus sign, and the numbers zero and -2. All three ended the race at precisely the same time.
-2, Minus Won; 0 Won Too.
(Reddit, I am counting on you to make this stupid joke popular!)
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
I had to choose between three cats. The first was super affectionate, like a dog. The second prefers to be alone all the time. I picked the third, whose personality is somewhere in between.
I named him Meat Loaf because he would do anything for love, but he wonβt do that.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
I personally find Tinder not that great of a dating service.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
A person that works faster than expected always has extra time on their hands.
The same is true for clocks.
(PSA: Remember to correct yours tonight, as applicable.)
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
Iβm tired of defending myself for being an anti vaxxer. Itβs a personal preference.
I donβt vax my floors. I donβt vax my chest hair, and I certainly donβt vax my legs.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Sep 29 2020
If one person being sleepy is called tired, what would four people make?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 06 2020
A person who cannot see is known as blind, a person who cannot speak is known as mute. So, what do you call a person who cannot hear?
Anything you want to call them, they cannot hear.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
I personally think that beekeeper suits are ugly as hell, but hey...
Beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
π︎ 393
π
︎ Aug 14 2020
What do the British call a person who uses the toilet too often?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
What did the person who discovered the wheel say?
What a revolutionary discovery!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
What did the hardware store employee use to steal personal information?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 12 2020
Why was the dumb person on the roof of a bar?
Someone told them the drinks were on the house
π︎ 27
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
I used to be blind but I cured it. My wife was the first person I saw
It was love at first sight.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
What do you call a person without a body or nose?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
What do you call a person who eats other people slowly?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
What do you call a deaf person ?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because Iβm not big enough or strong enough
Iβve just handed in my Too weak notice.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
To the person that invented the number 0
π︎ 327
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
To the person who stole my Microsoft office licence ,I will find you
π︎ 177
π
︎ Aug 12 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
