My mom's personalized number plate says "IS♥️ED" and we always believed that it was short for "Is Loved." But then my dad had to ruin it for us all when he said it meant:
I've just bought the personalized number plate BAA BAA...
The chocolate covered strawberry order REQUIRED a personalized note...
https://i.redd.it/b3701faordg01.jpg
Yes, it was the biggest eye-roll anyone has ever seen.
To the person who stole my MS Office License.
I will find you. You have my Word.
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus.
Thats how i lost my job as a bus driver
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
They won the Nobel prize.
Hi there, I'm Buzz Aldrin, the second person to ever walk on the moon..
My wife left me for a tractor salesman, and she didn't even tell me in person.
She just wrote me a John Deere letter.
Today is the day I can post it
How does a non binary person kill someone?
My dad always told me that I could be any person I want. But the FBI disagreed with this.
Apparently identity theft is a crime.
What made the mushroom forager such a good person?
I'm a very spontaneous person
*proceeds to burst into flames*
What do you call an honest trans person with kids?
What do you call a person with epilepsy laying on a bed of lettuce?
What do you call a person who sells banned books?
My wife and I were really happy for 20 years ...
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
What's it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Why did the priest quit his job to become a personal trainer?
He was really into exorcising
At the weekend, I like to play chess with elderly men in the park. But it's becoming increasingly harder..
..to find exactly 32 of them.
What sound is made when a piano is dropped on a person?
dont know if its already been posted but pls this is gold
What do you call a person who enjoys talking with the spirits of the dead?
I say ‘Mucho’ to every Spanish person I meet...
Apparently it means a lot to them.
What do you call a religious ceremony with one person?
You can never "run" through a camp ground.
You can only "ran" because it's past tents.
(Sorry if this has been posted before. I just joined this sub)
Where does a person who’s having trouble breathing go to shop?
A person sees someone walking in the street without a mask. Frustrated, he goes up to him, stops at two meters away and angrily mutters through his mask,
"People like you make me sick!".
Me: I just read a great book on multiple personality disorder...
Also me: I don't think it was that great, and neither do I!
A person with no head or neck...
I once fucked a person...
Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.
There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
My doctor said that I had multiple personalities...
But, we don't believe him.
I've just won an award for being the most secretive person of the year.
I can't tell you how proud that makes me.
Why’s it so hard to understand a person that’s jobless
Because they make no cents
Here's a beer to the person that discovered 0.
A boy who enters a fandom is called a fanboy. A girl who enters the fandom is called a fangirl. What is a non binary person called then?
You see a boat filled with people, but when you look closer you don't find a single person in it. Why?
Because everyone is married.
Person: The CEO of Segway died Segwaying himself off a cliff somehow.
Me: Oh wow really? Is that the reason why the sales of Segways fell off?
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person
I always thought he was only a theoretical physicist...
What‘s written on the gravestone of a shredded person?
To the person who stole my antidepressants...
My son asked his teacher, "If a person should be punished for something he hasn't done?"
"NO" Said the teacher. "Of course not."
"Great" said my son. "I haven't done my homework. "
What do you call a popular person who gets sick?
I had nothing to do so I thought of personally mixing the small leaves of a low-growing aromatic plant of the mint family.
But I knew I’d end up with too much Thyme on my hands
I just bought the personalized license plate BAA BAA...
How does a non-binary person kill someone?
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