I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus.
Thats how i lost my job as a bus driver
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Apr 05 2021
To the person who stole my antidepressants...
π︎ 132
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︎ Mar 25 2021
A person who likes to repost jokes on Reddit had a child who also reposted jokes on Reddit.
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 07 2021
What did the scale say to the person?
π︎ 16
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︎ Mar 20 2021
If a person doesnβt have to go to prison but has to see an officer every two weeks...
Do they have a probationship?
π︎ 6
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︎ Mar 26 2021
The only person who understands me has to be
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 22 2021
If I made a bot that spams every person who claims to be a member of the Pun Police with puns...
it would be a fully automatic machine pun.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 12 2021
What do you call it when an old Australian person tries to contact you but you have to return the call?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 27 2021
To the person who stole my Microsoft Office license.
I'm gonna find you. You have my word.
π︎ 35
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
A person asked a Muslim scholar of its allowed to smoke marijuana in his country?
He replied: only gays get stoned here
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 20 2021
Who was the 1st person to win the Nobel Prize?
Same person who invented the Door Knock...
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
If a deaf person has to go to court...
is it still considered a hearing?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Mar 18 2021
To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
What did the tomato say to the person who was about to eat him?
I hate you from my head to-ma-toes.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Feb 06 2021
What do you call a drunk person staggering along a street on their way home trying not to step on the cracks in the pavement?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Feb 25 2021
Warning...."To the person who stole my glasses....."
"I'll find you....I have contacts."
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
Kinder Person Award goes to...
π︎ 132
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Person to my dad βHow long have you been married?β
Dad: β10 of the happiest years of my lifeβ
(Theyβve been married 43 years)
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
What does a person who fakes injuries like to drink?
π︎ 300
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a personβs aura changes when they die.
π︎ 152
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
π︎ 14
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︎ Dec 17 2020
What does a dead person do to lose weight?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 08 2021
For my birthday in mid-January, I invited a few friends over to a highly populated urban residential area consisting mostly of closely packed, decrepit housing units inhabited primarily by impoverished persons.
It's my first slum-brrrr party so wish us luck!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
To the person that invented the number 0
π︎ 329
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
I used to be a people's person..
...but people ruined it for me.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
I wanted to tell a joke about a dumb person who ran
But that'd just be random
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
I'm Buzz Aldrin, second person ever to step on the moon.....
π︎ 14
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︎ Nov 15 2020
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
π︎ 15
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︎ Nov 28 2020
The person who had once kidnapped me got released after serving 10 years in prison. Since then, I secretly follow him to his house every single day without his knowledge.
I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
Next month, Iβm going to fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing The Golden Gate in San Francisco in person.
My wife said, βWhat are you going to do when you finally see it?β
Me: Iβll cross that bridge when I get there.
π︎ 434
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
Who is the best person at the golf course to get to make coffee?
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 21 2020
At a conference there was the most courageous person who went by the name Sam. Before he got on the stage to deliver his impressive speech, all attendees begged him not to sing.
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 21 2020
I went back in time to kill the person that made bread.
Now he yeasts to exist.
One I came up with myself
π︎ 17
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︎ Oct 16 2020
Told my wife to message the lawn person
Because we are taking our fence down.
She came back, stopped me, just to ask "Is there a mower emoji?
I said: is that really an emojency?
38, first original joke from an unoriginal dad. Had to share.
π︎ 96
π
︎ Aug 09 2020
To the person who took my iPhone off the dinner table, when I was distracted.
I hope you face time soon.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
I used to be blind but I cured it. My wife was the first person I saw
It was love at first sight.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
What do you say if you find a person trying to poison someone with celiacs disease
Iβve caught you bread handed
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 10 2020
To the person that stole my broken bathroom scale...
... You wonβt get a weigh with this!
π︎ 23
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
To the person in the wheelchair that stole my camo jacket.
You can hide, but you can't run.
π︎ 242
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
To the person who stole my Microsoft Office key.
Im gonna find you. You have my word.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
To the person who stole my Microsoft office licence ,I will find you
π︎ 180
π
︎ Aug 12 2020
To the person who invented 0...
π︎ 67
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ May 11 2020
To the person who stole my antidepressants-
I hope you are happy now.
π︎ 90
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
To the person that stole my copy of Microsoft Office
I will find you, you have my Word
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
To the person who stole my Microsoft Office
I will find you, you have my Word!
π︎ 70
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
To the person whole stole my Microsoft Office
I will find you, you have my Word
π︎ 83
π
︎ Jun 25 2020
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