Why did the peanut go to the police?
True story: My kid was having trouble with the peanut butter because the jar was too deep and the knife was too short
I tried to help, but I couldn’t get to the bottom of it
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
2 peanuts were walking down the road....
Did you hear about the peanut butter factory that exploded?
The Reese’s was in pieces.
Did you hear about the peanut that wanted to be a teacher?
It wanted to go into macadamia.
An anteater walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Can I get you a drink?" "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" "How about something to eat?" "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" "What about some peanuts?" "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"
Frazzled, the bartender cries, "What's with the long no's!?"
What kind of fish do you put on peanut butter sandwich?
What do you call a soft peanut?
A toothless old lady in hospital always gave away the peanuts she was given by her visitors to the nurses to eat.
One day a nurse asked her why she didn't ask for grapes instead of nuts.She replied that you can't get grapes with chocolate coating!
I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...
I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...
As much as they tried, the ladies couldn't get Mr. Peanut out onto the dance floor.
He was a bit of a wall nut.
What do you call peanuts with guns?
One day, two peanuts were walking down the street.
Two peanuts walked into a bar
What do you get when you eat too much peanut butter?
I was given a bag of peanuts that had been blessed by the Pope.
I gave them away...I hate religious nuts.
What the peanut say to the almond?
"Hey, can I cashew a question?"
Two peanuts from the country went to the city, and one was asalted
Late last night Mr Peanut was walking home through a bad neighborhood
I have been informed he was a-salted.
Someone get this man a Peanut Colada!
What do you call a peanut with a cold?
Wanna hear a rumor about peanut butter?
Nevermind, I’d rather not spread it.
My girlfriend usually has peanut butter toast for breakfast, but this morning we were out of bread, and she’s been grouchy all day.
I never knew she was lack-toast intolerant.
My four-year-old son just asked me for a peanut butter and farts sandwich...
AKA "a peanut butter and smelly."
Mashed up dates, chocolate chips, peanut butter, granola, almonds....delicious homemade granola bars
What do you say when your wife is so envious of your peanut butter obsession she wants to put it on herself in the bedroom?
I am a judge for peanut beauty pageants
What do you call a man who was force fed chocolate and peanut butter then chopped up?
I would like to share you this joke about peanut butter but I won’t.
Because you might spread it.
So a peanut walks in on a cashew.
What’s grosser than peanuts?
Ah finally. I have the almighty peanut butter.
Peanut oil is made from peanuts. Olive oil is from olives..
I'm not ever buying any more baby oil.
I made a playlist with music from the Peanuts soundtrack, Eminem, and the Cranberries.
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem.
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem.
Did you guys hear the one about the two peanuts walking down the street?
One of them was a salted.
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from The Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem
Did you hear the rumor about peanut butter?
I don’t want to spread it.
I have a playlist of songs from Eminem, The Cranberries, and the Peanuts.
I named it The Trail Mix.
Two peanuts were walking down the street
Two Peanuts walk into a bar
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