Nobody cares about Golden Retrievers
A pyromaniac from my hometown accidentally killed himself in a fire, but nobody even showed up to identify the body.
Why does nobody trust the baby salmon?
What do Vegans do when nobody watches them
Karl Marx is an historically famous figure, but nobody ever mentions his sister...
Onya Marx, who invented the starting pistol.
Why does nobody want 20/20 Vision?
Because nobody wants to see 2020 again
Why does nobody in Antarctica have Covid-19?
Because they're too ice-o-lated
Nobody wanted to buy my Red Hot Chili Peppers cd.
I have to give it away now
In space, nobody can hear you groan
Cement truck driver stole my identity and nobody would believe me
But then I found some concrete evidence
Nobody believes me when I say I can name the prime minister of Canada
Why can nobody catch Superman?
Because he always has a great "S" cape.
Nobody wanted to sing Whitesnake with me...
So here I go again on my own.
I'm sorry, but I'm extremely proud of this one, and nobody in the chat found it funny =(
Nobody will see this one coming
My friend announced that he parkoured his way to the top of a pub, but nobody cared.
After all, it was a low bar to climb.
If anyone is alone this Christmas and has nobody to spend it with, please let me know..
I really need to borrow some chairs.
Nobody expected this Knight in the battle.
"Nobody is going to tell me how many people I can have for Thanksgiving"
I made a joke about a butcher’s knife but nobody laughed.
Absolutely nobody expects it
If a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears it
It means my illegal logging business is a success
Apparently nobody knows why Notre Dame caught fire....
...but Quasimodo has a hunch.
Every week, at a comedy club I tell a joke about Peter Pan and nobody laughs.
I'm convinced that nobody can really eat with chopsticks...
You need a mouth for that.
Nobody ever asks "How is Coke doing ?"
It's always "Is Pepsi ok ?"
Nobody is perfect.
But my crush is perfect.
So my crush is Nobody.
Nobody loves me.
My crush loves me!
Nobody likes my joke about paper
What do you call someone with nobody and no nose ?
So there was a protest the other day. Someone told a joke, and nobody could stop laughing. It was a riot.
Since hockey has been canceled, nobody has seen the Zamboni driver
But I’m sure he’ll resurface eventually.
What's the room that nobody can enter?
My dad sent me this today: "All they're talking about on the news is the coronavirus. Nobody said anything about the damn coronapox!"
http://imgur.com/gallery/XgScS7E
What do you call it when nobody comes to the inauguration?
An unpresidented situation.
A man sits down at a bar. After a moment, he hears a voice behind him say "Hey, that shirt looks great on you!" He turns around, and nobody is there. Confused, he asks the bartender, "Where did that voice come from?" The bartender says...
"Oh, it's the peanuts.
They're complimentary."
Wanna know the real reason nobody is buying corona beer during this pandemic?
It's weird how nobody knew who the Iranian general Soleimani was a few days ago...
It's like he blew up overnight.
My favorite toilet paper was discontinued. Nobody prepared me for how much of a pain in the ass it is to find a new favorite.
Stashed a little pot at work. Hopefully nobody finds it.
Nobody in Antarctica has Covid-19
It's because they're ice-o-lated.
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