20 Hilarious Mitten Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Why does Bernie wear mittens?

To warm Bernie’s handers

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👤︎ u/PhoKit2

📅︎ Jan 22 2021

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I have a problem with the mittens I got for Christmas.

They only work inter-mitten-ly.

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👤︎ u/HanlonRazor

📅︎ Jan 20 2021

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I bought a pair of mittens today...

They fit like a glove.

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👤︎ u/Good_Creeper

📅︎ Jun 06 2020

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what did the cow say when he lost his mitten?

where's my udder one

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👤︎ u/pruncewho

📅︎ Nov 23 2019

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Some of my friends have been making very hurtful remarks about my choosing to wear mittens rather than gloves...

...but I don't like to point fingers...

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👤︎ u/bot_10

📅︎ Oct 06 2019

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I sent my my deceased cat, Mittens, to be stuffed.

But the taxidermist only did her back half. It was a cat-ass-trophey.

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👤︎ u/Peteman22

📅︎ Sep 25 2018

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I walked into work today and there was a sign that said "no drugs, no mittens!"

I walked up to my coworker and said "I get 'no drugs' but what is the deal with mittens?"

He looked at me very concerned and said "Everyone knows mittens are a gateway glove!"

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👤︎ u/diabeo

📅︎ Dec 17 2018

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E-mail I just received from my dad: Rare photo of Helen Keller and her beloved cat, Mittens.

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👤︎ u/seewhatyadidthere

📅︎ Oct 24 2013

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I'm planning to implement a new weight-loss method that will require people to wear winter gloves making it harder for them to eat.

I will call it "Inter-mitten fasting".

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👤︎ u/jhnrmn

📅︎ Jan 25 2021

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Did you hear about the cat that married the glove?

They had mittens.

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👤︎ u/kgangadhar

📅︎ Feb 04 2021

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What did the tennis player say when given the wrong glove?

That's a bad mitten.

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👤︎ u/waldo06

📅︎ Feb 06 2021

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What’s an evil hand’s favourite sport?

Bad Mitten

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👤︎ u/Kill_Them_Back

📅︎ Jan 21 2021

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The first step in confronting a crafting problem,

is a mitten knit.

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👤︎ u/Elnateo

📅︎ Dec 29 2020

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What do athletes wear during winter?

Bad mittens

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👤︎ u/mercolorecords2

📅︎ Nov 19 2020

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What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool?

She had mittens.

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👤︎ u/bigpapastu

📅︎ Nov 26 2020

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Did you hear about the cat who ate a ball of yarn?

She had a litter of mittens.

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👤︎ u/Xero19

📅︎ Aug 21 2020

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I want to play tennis, but my tennis glove is torn.

I guess I’ll have to settle for bad mitten.

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👤︎ u/bci1516

📅︎ Jul 11 2020

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What's the article of winter clothing most appropriate for Valentine's Day?

's mitten.

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👤︎ u/this_is_grand

📅︎ Nov 27 2018

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My wife dadjoked my son and me

My 2.5-year-old son was singing Old MacDonald in the car and decided to be a little silly by having each verse be a progressive number of mittens on his farm.

When he got to five mittens, I asked him, "Why would he need so many mittens? How many hands does he have?"

While my son was thinking it over, my wife replied, "They are for all of his farmhands."

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👤︎ u/newenglandredshirt

📅︎ Aug 03 2015

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I announced to my family, "Certain people in this house have been making very hurtful remarks about my choosing to wear mittens rather than gloves..."

"...but I don't like to point fingers."

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ Oct 29 2018

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