Dont mind if i dooo
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︎ Nov 08 2020
I don't mind my geometry teacher asking me to draw a circle. But to then ask me to turn that circle into two equal parts?
That's where I draw the line.
π︎ 93
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︎ Jan 14 2021
I've made up my mind. I'm choosing a career path as an electrician.
I just found out you get to work with dikes and strippers.
π︎ 14
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︎ Jan 21 2021
I arrived early to the restaurant. The manager said do you mind waiting a bit? I said no.
Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
π︎ 12
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︎ Jan 08 2021
I was at a friends funeral and I said to the widow βdo you mind if I say a word?β
She said go ahead.
I stood up said βplethoraβ and sat back down.
βThank youβ, the grieving widow responded, βit means a lotβ
π︎ 51
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Did you hear about the cheese that lost itβs mind?
It was placed in Emmental ward to recover
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 15 2021
What do you call a bad mind reader?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 28 2021
I don't mind foreign dishes, for example we ate some halal food last week
I think they called it Allah carte
π︎ 36
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︎ Dec 07 2020
After a half century of study, Iβve discovered the true connection between mind and body.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 18 2021
Which game was a result of a mind blowing idea?
π︎ 26
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︎ Nov 22 2020
This pun made me lose my mind
π︎ 28
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︎ Oct 25 2020
This might be my crowning achievement. If it's been done before, I apologize for nothing. Grape minds think alike- nope wrong fruit.
π︎ 13
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︎ Nov 15 2020
Iβve been trying to solve a complicated maths question to take my mind off my constipation. Today, using only a pencil and sheer determination...
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 26 2020
What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits the windshield?
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!
My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. Iβd schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since weβre there.
Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says βcoolest dad in the galaxy,β a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift Iβm thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.
Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??
- Iβm still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!
Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I donβt really have that βcreativeβ part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesnβt matter!
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 27 2020
He has a one track mind. Mark Twain is his father.
His name is.....
Choo choo Twain!
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 17 2020
What do you call a superpower that lets you locate french pastries with your mind?
π︎ 23
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︎ Nov 06 2020
Did you know cats can read minds?
Its pawsible, very pawsible.
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 12 2020
The first woman who gave brain had an open mind.
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 14 2020
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 25 2020
I woodnt mind
π︎ 243
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︎ Aug 21 2020
Why you can't read minds. (Credit: how.how)
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Which of Santa's reindeer needs to mind his manners the most ?
π︎ 19
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Keep in mind that given all of this year's events, Thanksgiving dinner can get heated
It can get re-heated the next day as well
π︎ 12
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︎ Nov 19 2020
What was the last thing the crossed Goliathβs mind before he died
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I don't mind going to work every day
It is the sitting around for 8 hours waiting to go home I can't stand.
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 20 2020
Mind-blowing
π︎ 46
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︎ Sep 29 2020
Whatβs the last thing through a bugs mind when he hits your cars windshield?
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 16 2020
My neighbors always play Lionel Richie very loudly and usually I don't mind.....
But yesterday it was All Night Long
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Two inventors died and ascended to heaven. There, they met each other and with their brilliant minds created a brand new form of fire making utensil.
It was a match made in heaven.
π︎ 78
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︎ Sep 12 2020
A widow is mourning at her husband's grave site. A gentleman walks by and says "If you don't mind, I'd like to say a word."
"That would be nice" she said. "Plethora"..... "Thanks, that means a lot."
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 28 2020
What shoe canβt make up its mind?
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 31 2020
This was on my mind for a while after being a candidate for so many job openings.
π︎ 45
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︎ Sep 07 2020
Don't mind Cyberpunk 2077's delay
It just needs a little Polish
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
I hooked up a spooky mind control device to a windowblind making machine
Just thinking about it makes me shutter
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 20 2020
What does a squirrel do when it loses its mind
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 19 2020
I did have some jokes about the Middle East in mind...
π︎ 21
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︎ Aug 14 2020
What mind of milk do you get from a rich cow?
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 14 2020
Have you ever seen me tie my shoelaces with my mind?
π︎ 29
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︎ Aug 27 2020
People donβt mind long lines at the hospital
Because theyβre patient
π︎ 20
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Betcha $5 I can move that bottle with my mind...
"No way, dad!"
knocks bottle over with hands My mind controls my hands. Now where's my $5?!
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 09 2020
I've got a joke for all you mind readers out there
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
My teacher told me to draw what's on my mind
Ever since then, I've been drawing blanks
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 26 2020
What do you call a bee who canβt make up his mind?
π︎ 8k
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︎ Oct 26 2019
My dog got a lot on his mind
He's been pawndering all day
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 05 2020
I don't mind breakfast in bed
...but I prefer it in a bowl.
π︎ 258
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︎ Jun 02 2020
When you think of 2020, whatβs the first thing that comes to mind?
Coronavirus, right off the bat.
π︎ 93
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︎ May 27 2020
Winning a German sausage eating contest is all about your mind set
You hope for the best, but prepare for the wurst
π︎ 21
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︎ Aug 15 2020
when all you have in mind while learning chemistry is about making puns
π︎ 15
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︎ May 25 2020
My wife always yells at me for not knowing how to properly season my food, but I donβt mind.
I take it with a pinch of sugar.
π︎ 9k
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︎ Sep 07 2019
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