I had to finish the last half of my golf match naked.
I was only dressed to the nines.
Why does it take one match to start a forest fire....
....but a whole box to start a camp fire.
You are lost in winter but find a cabin. You find it has a fireplace, a kerosene lamp and a stove, but you only have one match. What item in the cabin do you light first?
What is always the score at the end of a “best-of-three” match?
One won one, and one won two.
I recently played in a Star Wars themed cricket match.
Every time the ball was delivered the Umpire struck back.
My wife and I are a great match...
For example I have a 9 inch penis and she doesn't know which way round to hold a ruler.
Give man a match and you'll keep him warm for a minute.
Set man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
I just returned from my MIL's funeral, she was hit on the head during a tennis match & killed
It was a lovely service...
I found out today that I perfectly match the profile of the type of person who spoils their ballot paper.
I tick all the right boxes.
I lost a boxing match with a pirate.
He had a vicious right hook.
What's the zamboni doing at the hockey rink right before a match?
Some of my classmates after the football match between Barcelona and Bayern Munich
Bayern Munich couldn’t eat after the Barcelona match
Stop looking for the perfect match..
Two Ninjas are in a cage match to the death. Which team throws in the towel first?
There was so much water on the pitch of my daughter's football match this morning.
They needed to bring on the Sub early.
I told my dad my CS:GO match was going to be streamed.
He said," Streamed? Why not rivered?"
Three fruits decided to have a dragrace match. The Lemon prepared by practcing driving skills, the orange by studying the appropriate tecniques, the grape by relaxing in the sun. Who won?
The grape. He was the only one who went raisin.
How did the octopus do on his first football match?
Tinder match is basically love at first site 😮
Why did the USA lose the chess match?
Because they already lost two towers.
I was watching a women’s boxing match from the Middle East, but was a little disappointed.
All they were throwing were high jabs.
Dad: “I like to have my shoes match my pants. For instance, my brown shoes go well with my blue pants and my black shoes go well with my gray pants. My stripper heels on the other hand...”
“...don’t go with anything.”
My dad never makes “dad jokes” but, he actually said this yesterday and I’m so proud.
Did you hear what happened to guy that listened to the match?
What do you call a kung-fu match between a married couple?
Have you heard the tale of the knight who lost every single jousting match?
What did the candle say to the match?
I lost my taekwondo match today but something stinks
I think it was the other guy’s martial farts.
Marinever was there ever such a perfect match
The sweetest thing you can do for your partner is lose a tennis match to them by not scoring a single point.
You're no match for my smash skills
How long does a jousting match last?
I always bring a piece of paper to a wrestling match, just in case...
Who will take the second shot in the snooker match?
After a world-renowned athlete lost an important match, his wife suggested that in the future he wear a pair of her panties in his shoes for good luck to boost his confidence.
He’s been undie-feeted ever since.
Tinder is convenient for starting a fire, but can be frustrating to use unless you've got a match or two.
Why does it only take one match to start a forest fire,
but a whole box to start a campfire?
How long does a jousting match lasts?
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