I asked the baker if it was hard cutting the cake into equal slices

He said, "It's a piece of cake!"

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/corbillardier
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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How does 11+11 equal the same as 10+10?

Because 10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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I don't mind my geometry teacher asking me to draw a circle. But to then ask me to turn that circle into two equal parts?

That's where I draw the line.

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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Science puns make me numb

But math puns make me number.

πŸ‘︎ 912
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dilborg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Send me your terrible puns and I will make equally terrible MS Paint adaptations
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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My wife insisted on pouring flour into the melted butter.

I told her she would roux the day.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhantomBanker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I really appreciate couples that divide their feces equally with each other.

They really halve their shit together

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yotapata
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Where do mansplainers get their water?

From a well, actually..

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/safiyah-l
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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Distraptor divided by Timeraptor equals?

Velociraptor.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TallAsAFox
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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To further gender equality, I think it's time we have our first transgendered superheroes.

The Ex-Men.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acres41
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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Where does 100 equal 60?

A microwave.

πŸ‘︎ 234
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GangrenePeen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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1L is equal to 0.264 US gallon...

Literally

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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The title, no mouth equals no words.
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MemaholicCreeper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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Living on the Edge
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueDisciple
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Our church just replaced our giant wood pulpit for a smaller metal pulpit that is equally heavy.

We are now a heavy metal church.

We will be introducing Black Sabbath to our worship set soon.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cruckel2687
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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distance raptor over time raptor equals...

VELOCIRAPTOR

-heehee physics jokes

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mollywashere318
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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There's a band called 999MB.

they haven't had any gigs yet.

πŸ‘︎ 179
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ineedapapaya
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Equality is important!
πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisparton1991
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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There was an explosion at the pie factory.

The blast could be heard 3.14 miles away.

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PanixATK
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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Were they equal?
πŸ‘︎ 209
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yodariffic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2018
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I lost my map of contours showing points of equal elevation!

It was a relief when I found it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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From the 2020 SAT, geometry section: A farmer is welding parts in his barn. He wants to cut four bars of equal length from two lengths of iron rebar measuring 16 feet, 8 inches and 5 feet, 10 inches. How much material will be discarded? Bonus: where will the rebar, once welded, go for a good time?

A square dance

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadacolt45
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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What is it called when a Scotsman agrees with you in equal measure?

An aye for an aye.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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DROP YOUR BEST PUNS FOR HISTORY DRINKING GAME

I'm creating a drinking game where every important event equals to drinking, but I am nowhere close to NAMING my drinking game. A friend of mine recommended this subreddit, saying that people drop some really punny puns here. Give your ideas for a title, I think up to 6 words would be okay.

Let's see what you can do!

What you need to know about the game:

  • You can create your timeline based on packages (ages, countries, continents, etc).
  • Every important event has a normal action and drinking action.
  • You never know in which year you are located but get an estimate year. You can either guess the year (or date) and get a free pass or you have to execute the action or drinking action. When you guess wrong, you'll have to double it.

That's basically it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tyounr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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My ADHD medicine comes in a case shaped like a 3-sided polygon where each side is the same size, and the pills are distributed uniformly.

It's an equal Adderall triangle.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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True story: Driving back home, my 5 year old son says "How do you spell 'penis'?". My wife looks at me curiously and then asks "Why?"

After a few moments of silence, my son replies "That's it?"

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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If you place all currently living people on the equator around the Earth,

at equal distance from each other,

...

most of them would get wet and some will surely drown

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/username_matches
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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What do you call a horse who likes equality?

An egalloptarian

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/genuinely-bored
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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Why is 1 = 0 ??

Cos 0 = 1

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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I don't think men and women can be equal.

There's a vas deferens between them.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theswarthyknight
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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I've decided to become a math teacher, but I'm only going to teach subtraction.

I just want to make a difference.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YoureAMuenster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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Not all vehicles have equal rights.

Some make wide turns.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arcaneosis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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terrible editing but equally terrible pun
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PawnToG4
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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If a group of horses are all equally far away from one another, would they be equusdistant?

Making horse jokes with my flatmate and I'm particularly proud of this one.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeLovesRowing
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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Everyone gets it
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BobTheRussian
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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Two British monks set up a small snack stand at the parish fair.

They divided the duties equally: one was the fish friar, and the other was

the chip monk!

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/franksymptoms
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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A dog sees a "Now hiring" poster outside of a computer store.

The poster reads:

"Must be able to type. Must be able to program. And must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer."

The dog takes the poster in his mouth, and walks in. The manager spots the dog, and decides to humour it, pulling up a chair and a computer with a word processor. "Alright, if you want to work here, you need to first write a letter," and leaves the room.

30 minutes later, he comes back in, and the dog has typed out a completely error-free letter.

"Well, I'll be. This is a smart dog. But can he program?" he asks himself.

20 minutes pass, and the dog has made a perfectly running website for the store.

He looks, shocked, at the dog, and finally speaks. "Look, I know you have the qualifications, but, well... you're a dog."

The dog nudges the words "We are an equal opportunity employer." on the poster, and the manager sighs.

"There's no way you're bilingual."

The dog looks him in the eyes, and says, "Meow."

πŸ‘︎ 156
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πŸ‘€︎ u/juicy-tomato
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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It's not gona be equal

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mad_Chicken_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
For math lovers and others to
  1. Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.

  2. Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.

  3. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!

  4. Why was the math book depressed? It had a lot of problems.

  5. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it is never right.

  6. Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? HeΒ must be plotting something.

  7. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.

  8. What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date? The odd couple

  9. What do you call a number that can’t stay in one place? A Roamin’ numeral.

  10. Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably.

  11. What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.

  12. I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig. I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!

  13. Why should you never talk to Pi? Because she’ll go on and on and on forever.

  14. Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common? It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

  15. Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.

  16. What’s the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Use acute angle.

  17. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? They’d stop at nothing to avoid them.

  18. How do you stay warm in any room? Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.

  19. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight ("ate") nine!

  20. Why DID seven eat nine? Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!

  21. Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InvestWithArihant
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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Once upon a time in numberland, the numbers 3 and 5 were jealous of the number 2.

2 was enjoying a special position in the sequence of numbers. It was the only even prime number. All the other even numbers existed only because 2 existed. Heck, even computers ran on base-2.

As a result, 2 looked down upon all the other numbers, but no one could do anything about it.

3 and 5 conspired against 2 and decided they needed to do something so that it lost its powers. They kidnapped 2, and through magic divided 2’s powers equally among themselves. 2 ceased to exist. 3 and 5 both increased by 1.

Looking at 2’s dead body, they said, β€œNow we are even.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keychainoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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The sum of 10+10 and 11+11 are equal.

10+10=20, 11+11=22

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fortnit-toxic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same

10+10=20 11+11=22

πŸ‘︎ 19k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
1L is equal to 0.264 US gallon...

Literally

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report

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