Do degrees even matter as long as the person gets the job done?
What do corals even get stressed about?
As a single dad money can be tight. But even when I’m on a date and I know I’m not attracted to her, I still like to get the door for her and let her walk through. It makes her feel appreciated.
And it makes it easier to slam the door and run so I don’t have to pay for dinner.
How do you know the work week will get even crazier after Monday and Tuesday?
Because all that's left is WTF.
Remember the good old days, before the pandemic? It used to be you could meet new people, maybe even fall in love and get married.
Now I’m just dating myself
Don't even get me started talking about trigonometry.
I always go off on a tangent.
If you get this pun, you have saved me the time of writing a good title. And if you save me even one second, you have saved my day entire.
v.redd.it/feo6wfvmmco31
My buddy says that at his bar, they have your drinks made before you even get there.
One of my feminist friends managed to get herself a new job recently, and literally the first thing her boss asked her to do was to make him a sandwich! Naturally my friend took a stand and quit on the spot, she's even talking about boycotting the entire company.
Mom: I hear that John's business is doing a lot better. How did he manage to get enough people to slow down on that stretch of highway to even notice his store? Dad: Oh, he followed my advice and put up a billboard.
"Nude Colony Ahead, Keep Your Eyes on the Road!"
With my last wish, I asked the genie for two more Liam Neeson kidnap movies, even though I knew I would only get Taken Four granted.
"Oh, not that movie again! How many times can you even watch John McClane kill some terrorists before you get tired?"
"I'm sorry, but you know how it goes. Old habits, Die Hard."
only people with 200iq will get this. not sure he even meant it himself.
How did the sniper get drunk even though he was nowhere near any alcohol?
It was those long distance shots
My friend's cats constantly surround her. She can't even get a moment's peace to read a book.
Sometimes you just have to read between felines
I was trying to get my wife to appreciate puns as much as me. I tried everything I could come up with and she didn't even crack a smile! So I googled the top 10 puns of all time. I read every single one to her trying to get her to laugh
My dad doesn't even need you to get it...
I showed my dad /r/dadjokes the other day and today when I saw him he ran over to me and could barely contain himself:
Dad: Hey I told a joke today that made me think of you
Me: Yeah?
Dad: I had an orange on my desk and the person I was on the phone with was talking about something dangerous and I said "Orange you worried!"
The other guy couldn't even see the orange....
Even at 21, my dad still gets me.
Told my dad I was having trouble finding the right girl. He just smiled and said, "It's all just a myth man, I found your mother on my left."
Had poor service at a Mexican restaurant recently, and couldn't even get a manager to come to my table!
He didn't wanna taco' bout it.
I'm a little low on money at the moment to buy Injustice 2. I plan on trading games back to GameStop even though I will get next to nothing for it. I'll even trade in my original Injustice game for it...
that's what I call poetic injustice.
This didn't even get a groan.
My Fiance and I are getting into the elevator at a hotel we were staying at. We get in and the elevator was large and had blankets on the wall.
Her: Weird, I think this is a freight elevator.
Me: Freight so...
My parents really encouraged me to go to college to get a degree after high school even thought I told them I already had 98.6 of them.
Even if the Virgin Mary didn't get to have sex...
...at least she made a prophet.
I thought it was funny, even if she didn't get it
My kids wanted to camp in the back yard. My wife set the tent up while I was at work and expected me to sleep outside with them. I had to work the next morning. My wife was going to camp with them instead.
For reference, I call my daughter my princess and me and my wife have a queen size bed.
Daughter:(trying to talk me into camping with them)If you don't sleep outside you won't get to snuggle with your princess!
Me: it's ok, I'll have a queen all to myself.
Wife:groan
The dad joke i didnt even get to hear...
I was talking on the phone with my parents and i was discussing my upcoming birthday. as soon as i mentioned this, i accidentally hung up on them. when i called back, my dad said that he continued the conversation with "so what do you want for your birthday" and upon hearing nothing from me because I had hung up he replied "good because thats exactly what we got you".
very funny dad
No one under 30 will even get this
Why did the farmer start wearing ear plugs?
He was tired of Hall'n Oats
Didn't even get a groan, just a disdainful look
Girlfriend: Hey look this company is looking for a big data intern
Me: Well fine, but I'm not very big
Girlfriend: -______-
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