Do degrees even matter as long as the person gets the job done?
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vignesh_shankar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2020
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What do corals even get stressed about?

Current events

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CryptographerVast964
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 07 2020
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As a single dad money can be tight. But even when I’m on a date and I know I’m not attracted to her, I still like to get the door for her and let her walk through. It makes her feel appreciated.

And it makes it easier to slam the door and run so I don’t have to pay for dinner.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/skullchin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 31 2020
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How do you know the work week will get even crazier after Monday and Tuesday?

Because all that's left is WTF.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hypeaze
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04 2020
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Remember the good old days, before the pandemic? It used to be you could meet new people, maybe even fall in love and get married.

Now I’m just dating myself

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 22 2020
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Don't even get me started talking about trigonometry.

I always go off on a tangent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BlazerYanko
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2020
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If you get this pun, you have saved me the time of writing a good title. And if you save me even one second, you have saved my day entire. v.redd.it/feo6wfvmmco31
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brystander
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2019
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My buddy says that at his bar, they have your drinks made before you even get there.

He must be pretending.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WildcardSearch
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2019
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One of my feminist friends managed to get herself a new job recently, and literally the first thing her boss asked her to do was to make him a sandwich! Naturally my friend took a stand and quit on the spot, she's even talking about boycotting the entire company.

Stupid Subway

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/amicus_of_the_world
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2019
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Mom: I hear that John's business is doing a lot better. How did he manage to get enough people to slow down on that stretch of highway to even notice his store? Dad: Oh, he followed my advice and put up a billboard.

"Nude Colony Ahead, Keep Your Eyes on the Road!"

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2019
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With my last wish, I asked the genie for two more Liam Neeson kidnap movies, even though I knew I would only get Taken Four granted.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 44
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wizard7926
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 25 2019
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"Oh, not that movie again! How many times can you even watch John McClane kill some terrorists before you get tired?"

"I'm sorry, but you know how it goes. Old habits, Die Hard."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BLenciusMount
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 10 2019
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only people with 200iq will get this. not sure he even meant it himself.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gam1ngChair
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2019
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How did the sniper get drunk even though he was nowhere near any alcohol?

It was those long distance shots

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2019
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My friend's cats constantly surround her. She can't even get a moment's peace to read a book.

Sometimes you just have to read between felines

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kevincredible22
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2017
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I was trying to get my wife to appreciate puns as much as me. I tried everything I could come up with and she didn't even crack a smile! So I googled the top 10 puns of all time. I read every single one to her trying to get her to laugh

and no pun in 10 did

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2018
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My dad doesn't even need you to get it...

I showed my dad /r/dadjokes the other day and today when I saw him he ran over to me and could barely contain himself: Dad: Hey I told a joke today that made me think of you Me: Yeah? Dad: I had an orange on my desk and the person I was on the phone with was talking about something dangerous and I said "Orange you worried!"

The other guy couldn't even see the orange....

πŸ‘οΈŽ 778
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cmon_guyz_im_trying
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2014
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Even at 21, my dad still gets me.

Told my dad I was having trouble finding the right girl. He just smiled and said, "It's all just a myth man, I found your mother on my left."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 137
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GreatPunGuy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2016
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Had poor service at a Mexican restaurant recently, and couldn't even get a manager to come to my table!

He didn't wanna taco' bout it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mesh1er
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2018
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I'm a little low on money at the moment to buy Injustice 2. I plan on trading games back to GameStop even though I will get next to nothing for it. I'll even trade in my original Injustice game for it...

that's what I call poetic injustice.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Everwars
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2017
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This didn't even get a groan.

My Fiance and I are getting into the elevator at a hotel we were staying at. We get in and the elevator was large and had blankets on the wall. Her: Weird, I think this is a freight elevator. Me: Freight so...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/waltur_d
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06 2016
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My parents really encouraged me to go to college to get a degree after high school even thought I told them I already had 98.6 of them.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RyanTellsaStory
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2017
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Even if the Virgin Mary didn't get to have sex...

...at least she made a prophet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CollinKlug
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2012
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I thought it was funny, even if she didn't get it

My kids wanted to camp in the back yard. My wife set the tent up while I was at work and expected me to sleep outside with them. I had to work the next morning. My wife was going to camp with them instead.

For reference, I call my daughter my princess and me and my wife have a queen size bed.

Daughter:(trying to talk me into camping with them)If you don't sleep outside you won't get to snuggle with your princess! Me: it's ok, I'll have a queen all to myself. Wife:groan

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MoveLikeMacgyver
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 01 2015
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The dad joke i didnt even get to hear...

I was talking on the phone with my parents and i was discussing my upcoming birthday. as soon as i mentioned this, i accidentally hung up on them. when i called back, my dad said that he continued the conversation with "so what do you want for your birthday" and upon hearing nothing from me because I had hung up he replied "good because thats exactly what we got you".

very funny dad

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mrjanuary
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2015
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No one under 30 will even get this

Why did the farmer start wearing ear plugs?

He was tired of Hall'n Oats

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Chewie83
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2014
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Didn't even get a groan, just a disdainful look

Girlfriend: Hey look this company is looking for a big data intern Me: Well fine, but I'm not very big Girlfriend: -______-

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OnlyAMasterOfEvil
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2014
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