Dad joke on my friend trying to retaliate against dad jokes

Friend: im never going to say I am hang ray again instead I'll say I'm in a state of hunger.

Me: I didn't know hunger was a state!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karllanddown
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2014
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Due to my flatulent habits my daughters have started calling me "Farther"

They didn't like it when I retaliated with...

"Daughturds"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wasprobot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Hot news
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShowersALot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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my manager got me with a dad joke, so i retaliated with another

Me: "where is the nearest Argos?" Man.: "i don't know, should be easy to find though just look for the tall ship"

Me: "what? Tall ship?" Man.: "yeah! Well it is a pirates favourite shop!!"

head hits desk

Man.: smirking to himself "why do you need one anyway?" Me: slowly raises head smiling "they're doing a really great sail!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dexmonster92
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2016
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My family left me all alone tonight. Here's my retaliation. imgur.com/a/fKqWf
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mollyfied
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2013
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Daughter retaliated against a potential dad joke.

She finished with some task and told me "I'm all done" and quickly added "but that's not my name"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/librarianC
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2016
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Dad-Joke retaliation from my little brother

I was cooking bacon and egg tacos for my 8 year old brother Kevin

Kevin: "Hey I'm thirsty"

Me: "Hey Thursday, I'm Friday" I chuckle to myself, and he comes back with

Kevin: "Sounds like a personal problem, wanna taco about it?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Pizza_Puncher
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2014
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My mom teased my dad, he didn't get a sandwhich after his reply.

My mom teased my dad by calling him gay. This is how my Dad retaliated.

Dad: your ex boyfriend was hot .

Mom: which one?

Dad: Me

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAEInferno
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2017
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Just dadjoked my wife...

Wife: here's $20. Spend it however you want.

Me: I'll use it to buy sex... Are you free tonight?

Wife: why yes I am! Hehehe

Me: well if you're free tonight [tucks bill in wallet] I can hang on to this for another day! #... When women become mothers, they gain the ability of super hearing, and being able to detect danger.

When men become fathers, we develop to pass amazingly corny jokes and punchlines out of our mouth before our brain even realizes it's happening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wardrich
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2014
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Someone crossed a line

So I live in a town called Knightstown that is currently in a state of rage over a man who wants to sue the town for having a cross atop the town Christmas tree which is on public property. It has since been removed. Anyway, to retaliate, many citizens of the town gathered and sang Christmas carols outside of his home.

I am choosing to call this group of people the Mormon TaberNaCl Choir, because that is one very salty group of singers.

Edit: Added a word

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sans_Seraphim
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2016
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Cold joke string

What’s a penguins favourite film? Frozen.

What did the penguin say to the snowman who didn’t find the first joke funny? Oh laugh!

What did the snowman kick the penguin with in retaliation? Dis knee

Why did the snowman then watch Frozen with the penguin? Nothing Elsa on TV

There’s snow more now, ice said them all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-E-Droflah
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
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My dad just hit me with this one.

So I was eating dinner with my brother and his S/O in the dining room as my dad was in the kitchen doing dad things, and as I was telling a joke my dad walked in and told me that my joke wasn't funny. I retaliated with "alright, let's here a joke then."

This is when he looked at my brother and I and said "the only jokes I have is the two sitting at the dinner table"

Fuckin' dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleepz33
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2015
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Got a good one on my daughter this weekend

My two girls were wrestling on the bed and one of them kicked the other. The one who had just been kicked retaliated with a kick of her own and proudly told me "I kicked her back."

"No you didn't...you kicked her front!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eccentricguru
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2013
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