“Well, son. Weight is your size in relation to the Earth’s gravity.
Mass is what Catholics go to Sunday morning.”
The Whale-weigh station
Pew! Pew! Pew!...
He was a Serial Kaler
I didn’t even know they were catholic!
You matter.
If it did, it would’ve be called heavy.
"No, but your hat's on crooked."
All their hard work really is just one big, fruitless endeavor.
They followed the guidance religiously.
Oh wait. I'm obese
There was mass confusion
At the olfactory
"Sorry, no pun n' ten dead"
A mass murder
Because they have mass.
But really, it's music that causes gun violins
We've made a massive mistake
I mean, light can't be heavy.
Why doesn't the usa change their measures from pounds to kgs?
Because it would cause mass confusion
Because they're his holey shoes
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
The other four were called Hawhoii, Hawhereii, Hawhatii, and Hawhenii.
A Roaming Catholic.
Os-Moses.
...mass contamination.
Note: The play on the word mass which can refer to a church service or a large number of people.
'Em Oceans
Pun and ten dead
They’re mass pro-duced
She says that's because missing church for seven days makes one weak!
...but I figure if I did, I'd be Asari.
A sleep
He said he found an infected mass.....
Are you a mass murderer?
My father is fond of jokes and pranks (even though I only pretend to laugh .-.) but there's this story that I always would genuinely laugh at whenever it is brought up. So here it goes...
We've always gone to Church every Sunday when we were kids and on one of those Sundays, my father decided to make my mother laugh by shaving only HALF of his beard. So while the other side has hair, the other is shaved. He casually walked up to my mother and asked if he looked good in his "new fashion style." My mother laughed so hard she couldn't breathe.
When that was over, we got ourselves ready and went to Church. While praying, there was a bunch of people looking at my father. He noticed that as soon as he looked at those people, they'd cover their face, bow their heads and walk away. He felt weird. So he got into this 'thinking position' where he had his hands to play with his beard. And that's when he realized...HE FORGOT TO SHAVE THE OTHER HALF AT HOME AND NO ONE NOTICED UNTIL WE GOT THERE. HAHAHHAHAHA He was so embarassed, he covered his whole face until mass was over.
That's all folks. Thank you for coming to my dad talks .
It has no mass
A weapon of mass creation.
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Someone through threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me. Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
A Catas-trophy!
There were a lot of casual tees.
...didn't even know they was Catholic...
No wonder they are called the Pirates of the Carob Bean.
Now there’s a mass panic!
Because of mass outrage.
Just go around the bend.
It doesnt matter.
...they are traveling light.
"Dave!" shouted my wife. "Come away from the pond!"
What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!
I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it!
Have you heard of that new movie, “Constipation”? Well it doesn’t matter, it never came out.
I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said “No, doc, it’s dis knee.”
Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.
When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses don’t cause reactions, after all.
What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!
I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."
Why can’t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.
Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You don’t wanna wake the sleeping pills.
What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!
What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!
Help, I can’t stop reading books with female protagonists! I’m a heroine addict!
How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!
19 and 20 got into a fight… 21.
My friend told me, “People who sell meat are disgusting!” So I said, “Yeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!”
How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!
What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bond… ionic bond. “Taken, not shared.” What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)
How much does Santa’s sleigh cost? $0, it’s on the house.
If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.
I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.
I’m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, I’m outstanding.
Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!
What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide What’s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon
Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But that’s just a blanket statem
... keep reading on reddit ➡I didn't even know they were catholic.
I didn't even know they were Catholic.
There would be a mass confusion
I didn't even know they were catholic.
There would be MASS confusion
There'd be mass confusion.
Mass confusion.
...mass contamination
Note: The play on the word mass which can refer to a church service or a large number of people.
I had no clue they were Catholic!
You matter.
I didn't even know they were Catholic
I didn't know protons were Catholic.
Because they have mass
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
There would be a mass confusion
Lettuce pray
You matter.
There would be mass confusion
