No longer taboo
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Son: When geese fly in a 'V' formation, why is one side always longer?
Dad: Probably because there are more geese on that side.
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︎ Dec 10 2020
Did you know your nose can't be longer than 12 inches ?
Otherwise it will be a foot.
π︎ 355
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︎ Nov 12 2020
My dad was told that he could no longer eat solid foods.
It was a hard pill to swallow.
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 09 2020
When ducks fly in a V one side is always longer. Do you know the reason?
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Teenagers are no longer getting many Xmas presents
Because they are in the noughties list.
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︎ Dec 12 2020
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
In an effort to combat climate change, the U.S. Army will no longer allow rabbits to drive vehicles.
This will eliminate 75% of Americaβs car bunny missions.
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︎ Dec 02 2020
Starting today I will no longer be eating hot Thanksgiving leftovers.
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︎ Nov 27 2020
I've put on so much weight during Lockdown that my Sumo suit no longer fits me.
On the plus side, I no longer need a Sumo suit.
π︎ 20
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︎ Nov 13 2020
So many items are no longer made in America...
I just bought a new tv and the box said βbuilt in antennaβ...
I donβt even know where that is!
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︎ Nov 20 2020
So I heard they are not making yard sticks any longer.
Just 3 feet and no longer.
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 13 2020
What do you call a pasta that's not too bad but could be better if it was cooked a little longer?
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 18 2020
After the exodus through the Red Sea, Moses's staff could no longer perform miracles, and still he kept it beside him the rest of his life...
...he just couldn't part with it.
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︎ Sep 10 2020
The World Health Organization announced dogs cannot contract COVID-19 and indicated they should no longer be quarantined.
π︎ 40
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︎ Sep 28 2020
What odd number is no longer odd when you remove a letter?
Seven. If you you remove the S it becomes even.
Heard from my nine year old three minutes ago.
Iβve never been more proud.
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︎ Mar 31 2020
Migratory birds can be fascinating. You often see them fly in "V" formation across the sky. On occasion you see that one side is longer than the other. It's a simple scientific explanation really.
There just happens to be more birds on that side.
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 15 2020
Dad: Son, did you know that if you, as an American, go into a bathroom in France you are no longer an American? Son: No, I didnβt. What would I be?
Dad: Youβre a peeinβ.
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︎ Sep 06 2020
When is a door no longer a door?
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 13 2020
What is shorter than longer
Count the letters. What has 4, longer has 6.
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︎ Sep 04 2020
According to the new rules this year, NFL players are no longer allowed to have a chicken as a pet.
Itβs considered to be a personal fowl.
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︎ Sep 11 2020
The World Health Organization has declared that dogs cannot transmit the Corona Virus and should not be quarantined any longer.
W.H.O. Lets the dogs out!
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︎ Mar 07 2020
Shows about food are no longer available on cable tv.
You can only get them on dish.
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 16 2020
Bran Stark sits down for breakfast and suddenly decides he no longer wants to be king.
In other words, bran flakes.
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 04 2020
Now that the USA is no longer the pre-eminent superpower of the world, what's next?
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 03 2020
If you buy MyPillow it's no longer MyPillow....
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 06 2020
I finally have something to contribute! No longer a lurker ππΌ
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 15 2020
Chalk boards are no longer being used in schools, so when the last school finally took them down to install smart boards, the teachers gathered all the writing utensils from them and had a large bon fire just outside the school. It smelled so good.
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︎ Aug 22 2020
If a light no longer lights up
Is it a light, or a dark?
π︎ 9
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︎ Jun 25 2020
Geese fly in a V-formation for aerodynamics, and when the lead goose gets tired he switches out his position. But one side of the V is almost always longer than the other. Do you know why?
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︎ Apr 12 2020
My friend told me he could no longer afford his water bill...
So I got him a card that says "get well soon"
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︎ May 25 2020
They're making a longer version of Magic Mike.
It's called Magical Michael.
π︎ 10
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︎ Jul 05 2020
The nurse just told me that they can no longer perform the transplant.
My surgeon wanted to tell me, but he didn't have the heart.
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︎ Jun 02 2020
I got my wife a copy of the Pixar movie Up when it came out a long time ago, but she dropped it while opening it. She dropped it so many times over the years that the box is very damaged and the disc is no longer playable. Her other movies are perfectly fine, but not this one.
She did not hold Up well.
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︎ Jan 14 2020
My son turned 27, so he's no longer covered by my health insurance.
In other words, his manufacturer's warranty is up.
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︎ Apr 23 2020
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 04 2020
My dad was told that he could no longer eat solid foods.
It was a hard pill to swallow.
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 09 2020
Why is one side longer then the other when ducks fly in a V?
Because thereβs more ducks on that side
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 09 2020
When geese fly in a V formation, one side is always longer than the other. Do you know why that is?
There are more birds on that side.
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 29 2020
When ducks are flying south, they fly in a V formation. But one side is always longer. Do you know why?
There's more ducks on that side.
(As told by my father)
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︎ Jul 08 2020
When geese fly, they fly in a V. One side is always longer than the other. Do you know why?
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 13 2020
Do you know why when geese are flying, one side of the V is longer?
There's more geese on that side.
π︎ 29
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︎ Jul 09 2020
When is a door no longer a door?
π︎ 40
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︎ May 31 2020
Do you know why one side is longer when birds are flying in a V formation?
Because thereβs more birds on that side.
π︎ 138
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︎ Feb 05 2020
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