Kitchen stove Puns

Its a small kitchen and my dad trying to get to the stove says "im just gonna sneak pasta"

So we are both in the kitchen cooking on the stove. I'm stirring the pasta and feel it is sticking on the bottom. He notices and says:

Him: is it sticking?

Me: a little on the bottom

Him: Well turn it down.

Me (directly at pot on stove): I'm sorry, I don't like you that way, I think we should just be friends.

Him: (blank stare, shaking head)

Just got my girlfriend with this one. I had been doing some work on my laptop on the kitchen bench and left it charging with the cable going over the stove top. My girlfriend said "xenzor, can you move your laptop. I need to cook and can't eat your laptop", I instantly came back with "if you're hungry it's ok there are lots of Megabytes".

He came out of the kitchen and said "I know why the stove doesn't boil water very fast. It's a frigidaire."