Proud dad moment: My five year old and I were discussing Halloween candy. I told him I like Kit-Kats.
He picked out a Butterfinger from his bag, held it up, and said “Kit-Kats are good but these are butter.”
How do you trap a drum kit?
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
Just bought a first aid kit...
Thought I'd treat myself.
I got rid of my son’s drum kit but he went behind my back and bought a new one.
There’s going to be serious repercussions.
I left my vampire killing kit in the elevator...
The stakes have never been higher
My friend tried to sell me his used Easter egg decorating kit...
I said, "no thanks. I'll Paas."
My wife is furious at me for buying an expensive make-your-own-perfume kit.
But it just made scents to me.
The other day I walked into my son's room and found him with an open first aid kit, preparing to stitch up a cut on his forearm.
I told him to stop and that I would take him to the doctor for a more rofessional job. He told me he wanted to do it as he was working on his first aid merit badge for the boy scouts. So I said, "Suture self."
My diabetic son's insulin delivery kit just came in the mail
I invented an at home kit for giving yourself stitches.
I'm calling it Suture Self.
Is this the wurst kit ever?
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as sex cymbals.
My wife is really pissed that I spent a lot of money to buy a make your own perfume kit.
But it just made scents to me.
Have you guys tried this new "Vajazzle for Dads" kit?
BREAKING NEWS: Apple and Kia Motors have joined forces to produce a kit set electric car in sweden...
... they are calling it the iKia
Someone accused me of stealing a Kit Kat bar.
My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with Kit-Kats...
I suggested we have a break...
I think my son has a friend who is just using him for his gaming kit.
He only visits once a Fortnite.
So I was using the level kit to make sure my shelf was straight. I dropped the thing and it hit me right on the head
Guess I’m a level-headed individual
I bought a deepthroat training kit for a co-workers secret Santa.
If we have 707, 808 and 909 drum kits, I invented a new drum kit that all involves tin cans and will call it
At the garage sale today, there was this RC circuit kit being sold cheap because it was missing its resistors. I don't like electronics but I got it anyways.
The offer was irresistible.
It's good to know that new dads are given a welcome kit at the hospital.
http://www.anythingcomic.com/comics/1957351/welcome-kit/
Kit Harington broke his timepiece.
And now his watch has ended.
Sister: "I want to die my hair, to experiment" Dad: "Do you want a chemistry kit?"
I bought myself a first aid kit today.
I thought I would Treat myself.
I bought a first aid kit
I felt it was time to treat myself
I’ve just bought myself a First Aid Kit...
Thought I’d treat myself.
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