I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.

It went off without a hitch.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ldb477
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
Where do serial killers get their equipment?

On Amazon Crime

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pwrd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do folks from Bilbao, Spain buy outdoor equipment?

The Basque Pro Shop

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mapguy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of equipment do you need to study birds?

Birdnoculars

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Testing talent show equipment
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The1WithNumbers
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Drunk driver overturned his van on road carrying snooker equipment.

Police says he is under a-rest and there is cues a mile long.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call scientific equipment that went to college?

A graduated cylinder

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NanHacKer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does sporting equipment go when it dies?

Ballhalla

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreeTuckerCase
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried out some riot control equipment today...

But it made a mace

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oofsoof
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you say when you see / had seen a pirate version of saw holding a frozen buzzsaw on a piece of playground equipment?

I see/saw sea saw on a seesaw, with an icy saw

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Sitting in the ER with my son last night, he got me with this one. I was trying to lift his spirits and was pointing out all the crazy equipment they have in the room. I said "Oh look. They have tongue depressers." He says "Those won't work on me." I asked why and he says...

"I'm on antidepressants."

He's going in for surgery at 3:30pm Pacific. All your positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated.

Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and omg for the gold! He's out of surgery and looks to be recovering nicely. All your well wishes helped cheer him and his parents up.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebikerdad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Ladies, if your boyfriend asks for matador equipment for christmas...

It's big red flag

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iNova_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What sort of stereo equipment does Black Panther use?

He's a Bose man.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cpome7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a job making Heavy Equipment for Road Building...

but I got laid off. They said the market for Steamrollers was flattening.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What exercise equipment does a koala use?

A Eucalyptical

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MKentV
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend was infatuated with roofing equipment so I gave her an ultimatum: it's either me or the equipment.

She chose the ladder.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you have to do to become a member of the Golf Equipment Repair Association?

Join the club

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Where did they keep the gym equipment at Hogwarts?

Behind the dumbbell door.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/salamanderoil
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.

I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?

He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phunly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I visited a tennis equipment factory. The noise there was unbearable

They make a racket.

(Please no hate. Tennis jokes need love)

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiVShenoy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the surveyor that lost his equipment?

Now he just walks around aimlessly.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seudonim
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m really proud of my friend’s collection of acting equipment.

Props to him.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I was struggling to find a sale on boating equipment. Eventually I did find one.

But it was an oar deal.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/friday-the-horse
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What equipment did the Pink Panther need to run all of his guitars?

Ten amps. Ten amps. Ten amps, ten amps, ten amps, ten amps, ten aaammmps.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
If you’re trying to get a woman to notice you, then don’t buy any farming equipment.

It won’t be enough to a tractor attention.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
To the bastard who stole my limbo dancing equipment...

How low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the girl named after table tennis equipment?

Anet.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HA1999
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me to throw away all the broken electrical equipment

But i’ve refused

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueChamp10
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a factory making tennis equipment, but I got tired of all the racket.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy signs up for the army and goes to get his equipment after he’s been processed.

When he gets to the place where he’s supposed to pick up his rifle the man tells him thatΒ he just ran out. β€œIf you need to shoot just say β€˜BANGITY BANG BANGITY BANG!'” he says. Bummed out and little confused, the guy moves on to the next areaΒ where he’s supposed to pick up the bayonet. But the next man is out too. β€œIf you need to stab someone justΒ go, β€˜STICKITY STICK STICKITY STICK!'” he says. Dejected and wondering what the heck he signed up for, the guy jumps into the next truck on its wayΒ to the front where there’s a battle raging on.

Side by side with the rest of the soldiers in his unit, the guy advances on the enemy position. As soon as he sees the enemy, he shouts, β€œBANGITY BANG BANGITY BANG!!” Amazingly, the enemy soldierΒ drops to the ground. Encouraged by his success he charges the next two enemy soldiers and goes, β€œSTICKITY STICK STICKITY STICK!” They both immediately collapse in front of him. This is incredible, he thinks, I’ve become unstoppable.

So when he sees his next foeΒ way off in the distance, he shouts,Β β€œBANGITY BANG BANGITY BANG!” at him. He waits for him to fall, but nothing happens. The guy charges his unfazedΒ adversaryΒ nextΒ and goes β€œSTICKITY STICK STICKITY STICK!” Again he thinks the man will fall and again nothingΒ happens. β€œWhy wont you drop?” the guy says. The enemy soldier knocks him down andΒ responds, β€œTANKITY TANK TANKITY TANK!”

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lavidius
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
They’re building a park down the street from me that’s supposed to be done soon but they don’t have any playground equipment, trees, nothing.

They have a lot on their hands.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ystad31
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Which country has the most construction equipment?

U-crane.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I was the solo support act for minor local rock group, 'Nothing'. My set went terribly. I was out of tune, really nervous, the equipment was failing too. The crowd began to boo and leave in droves.

I said, "you ain't seen Nothing yet!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mittenshape
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I read earlier that the zoo was installing an exercise equipment addition to the marine mammal exhibit to help make the animals stronger.

They're going to have a bunch of flex seals on their hands.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SchitzPopinov719
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Out of the blue, I decided to take my wife to a commercial establishment offering health and beauty treatment through such means as steam baths, exercise equipment, and massage

You could say the decision was pretty spa-radic

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Avasnay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The tractor company's manure spreader is the only piece of equipment they won't stand behind.
πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2016
🚨︎ report
Where did the pharmacist turned actor store his measuring equipment?

In the dram-attic.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/waldo06
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Which American state is renowned for its writing equipment?

Pencilvania.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you address regal safety equipment?

Your Royal Harness.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I knew a girl who was attracted to farming equipment

She was a real hoe for them

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Suhspence
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a half dozen numbered storage β€˜bays’ that I keep downstairs, all my camping equipment is in the last one, so every camping trip starts with me getting back to bay six.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
The illegal tennis equipment market was finally exposed.

Took a while to bust the racket.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoHandedShanks
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I got in a fight at the park with a guy who was hogging the playground equipment.

He took a swing.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NoeticQuality
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m really proud of my friend’s collection of Hollywood acting equipments.

Props to him.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report

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