What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin
.
Edit: thank you guys so much for the rewards! I was told this joke from my 9 year old sister, she was well chuffed to see all the votes and people thinking she was funny
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
How does a non-binary Swordsman kill people?
π︎ 287
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
How does a non-binary person kill someone?
π︎ 206
π
︎ Mar 22 2021
Iβve just been charged for using sandpaper to kill my victim.
I only wanted to rough him up a bit.
π︎ 85
π
︎ Mar 03 2021
Eating mercury can kill you.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 29 2021
To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through it's heart.
Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking .
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
My girlfriend says if we donβt get married soon, sheβs gonna kill me.
...itβs a matter of wife or death.
π︎ 542
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
He asked them who their favorite composer was and they all said "Bach Bach Bach Bach"
π︎ 52
π
︎ Mar 04 2021
How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant?
Twist its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 26 2021
We shouldn't kill mosquitos, guys.
After all, they and we are of the same blood
π︎ 21
π
︎ Mar 08 2021
Pun enters a room, kills 10 people....
π︎ 18
π
︎ Feb 12 2021
What's green, has 4 legs, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree?
π︎ 232
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
I am sick and tired of people calling me lazy, so I'm going to kill myself.
But, the gun is all the way over there.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 11 2021
You know the animal that kills the most people in the world?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 03 2021
How do you kill a circus?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 07 2021
In Ancient Rome, there were four types of poisons. Poisons I, II, and III would kill you instantly.
Poison IV would just make you kinda itchy
π︎ 55
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
"No, I'm a talking tree, don't kill me!"
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 09 2021
What do you call it when one gay person kills another?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 05 2021
Whats green and fuzzy and would kill you if it jumped on you from a tree?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
Whatβs it called when you kill chickpeas?
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
How much did it cost HYDRA to kill Tony Starkβs parents?
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Jul 03 2020
It turns out the capitol rioter did NOT accidentally kill himself with a taser to the balls and the story was just made up to disrespect him...
I don't think anyone is shocked.
(Source: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/capitol-riot-taser-death)
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
My neutered cat wants to kill me
But he doesn't have the balls.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
Just kill me lol
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jun 01 2020
Sometimes John Wick likes to kill quietly.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
My wife said there was a large fly buzzing around our bedroom and told me to go kill it. I rolled my eyes and said she should call 911. She asked why.
I responded: So they can send the swat team.
π︎ 456
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
Whats the last thing a serial killer hears before he kills his next victim
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
My wife screamed in pain during labour so I asked, "What's wrong?". She screamed. "These contractions are going to kill me!!"
"I am sorry, honey." I replied. "What is wrong?"
π︎ 18k
π
︎ Jan 27 2020
How does a non-binary samurai kill people?
π︎ 53
π
︎ Apr 01 2021
How does a non-binary samurai kill their adversaries?
π︎ 55
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
How does a non-binary Samurai kill people?
π︎ 47
π
︎ Mar 21 2021
How does a non-binary samurai kill people?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
What has two butts and kills people?
π︎ 23
π
︎ Apr 04 2021
What has 2 butts and kills people?
An assassin
Thank you! Iβll be here all night
π︎ 163
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
What has 2 butts and kills people ?
π︎ 54
π
︎ Mar 12 2021
What has two butts and kills people?
π︎ 29
π
︎ Feb 12 2021
What has two butts and kills people?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 27 2021
What is big, green and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
How do you kill a BLUE elephant?
Shoot it with a BLUE elephant gun.
How do you kill a PINK elephant?
.
.
.
.
Hold it's nose until it turns blue then shoot it with a BLUE elephant gun.
π︎ 86
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
Pun walks into a room with 10 people and kills them all.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
What's green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree on you, it will kill you?
π︎ 265
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
A pun walks into a bar and kills ten people.
π︎ 35
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
Why did Beethoven kill all of his chickens?
They were going, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
π︎ 304
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
What's green, fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
