I was gonna tell a joke about the tortoise and the hare

But I thought it might be a little too racy for you.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Just a hare off the mark
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cREDBARON
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Hare-ass-ment for y'all.
πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arctucrus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a frog say when seeing a hare?

Rabbit! Rabbit!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordWolfWolf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A hare huh
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meemlord11
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Bad hare days...
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Electrokid08
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Rabbits would probably say that having kids is the hare-raising adventure of a lifetime
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OranguPanda
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Had to return this cookie it had a hare in it
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bjhoneycut2478
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you think they smell like burnt hare?
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrpeanutyeet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the apathetic rabbit say to the hare

I don’t carrot all.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Obamafaps
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Rabbit season must be stressful. I hear it causes hare loss.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KelvinShadewing
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Hare cut

I was fixing my bike when my dad turns to me and says, " we need you to get a chopped rabbit " "What?!" I reply " you know, a HARE cut" He then said, " What do you call a row of rabbits walking backwards, a receding hare line" -_-

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shermen744
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2015
🚨︎ report
My Dad made this joke when I was about 4 years old. He had just caught a hare with his bare hands.

Me: How did you do that?

Dad: I just lay down on the ground and made a noise like a carrot.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tambo96
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2014
🚨︎ report
Why did the hare go to the taco truck?

He couldn't beat the tortas.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/e_w_boom_boom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?

A barberqueue

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sgrl2494
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What's another name for a rabbit mystery?

Nobunny knows

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d2p2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why dont more people eat rabbit?

Most people dont like hare in their food

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GamerJoe85
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you catch a unique rabbit?

You β€˜neak up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrymmTravel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Not just barbers

Quirky animal lovers use their hare to express themselves

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar...

The rabbit says, β€œI think I might be a typo.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boom223
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"

πŸ‘︎ 737
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomCanBe
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Judy from Zootopia stay in shape?

She does a lot of hare-obics!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neutraliscool
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate eating at restaurants that serve rabbit...

I always end up with a hare in my food...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_bradley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
So I used to own a rabbit farm.

You know I would raise these super cute fluffy bunnies!

People would always ask me how it was: was it relaxing, fun, nice, a bore etc...?

I would always respond that it was honestly terrifying, like really scary.

People in bewilderment would always say: "what? scary? how can that be??"

I would respond: "well, it was hare raising"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pilp147
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit, β€œWhat’ll ya have?”

The rabbit says, β€œI dunno. I’m only here because of Autocorrect.”

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sierrasport
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Help give my pet rabbit a job title

Chief of Hoperations? Director of fuzz? Give me your best, most official sounding titles.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jstew96
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A pun or two about magicians and their antics

Person 1: What is your opinion on that one classic pulling the bunny out of the hat trick?

Person 2: I think raises some hare-raising questions.

P1: How so?

P2: It just begs the question of how it affects the rabbits themselves. After all, the magicians were pulling them out without a carrot the world.

P1: You raise at interesting point.

P2: We all know it's because of the secret compartment, you know? And, to minimize the suspiciousness of the hat, the compartment is as small as possible?

P1: Yes

P2: It must be very uncomfurtable to be in that space, and then be grabbed by the ears and raised high in front of a crowd. Like, don't get me wrong, I love magic tricks, but I wand to specify that i honestly feel that this trick in particular is quite inhumane.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirZbear
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm bald and im going to get a head tattoo of multiple rabbits

So from a distance it looks like hares

πŸ‘︎ 498
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiscuitaBoyo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call fifteen rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hareline.

πŸ‘︎ 403
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SpeedingEmu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the bald rabbit?

Hare today, gone tomorrow.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
(Credit to u/Anon8627) My mum said I'm terrible with directions
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Python119
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I fell asleep with my pet bunny in my bed last night.

I woke up with the hare standing on the back of my neck.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealitiesOfWar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
The Tortoise : I won the Race...

The Hare : you beat me in the race but i had a nap, so who's the Real Winner.?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/europiece-of-shit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I was gonna tell a joke about the tortoise and the hare

But I thought it might be a little too racy for you.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a row of rabbits walking away?

A receding hare line.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GirlMom929
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I just saw a line of rabbits jumping backward!

It was a receding hare line.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of bunnies hopping backwards

A receding hare line

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLama27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, β€œWhat’ll ya have?” The rabbit says...

β€œI dunno. I’m just here because of autocorrect.”

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vibccanman
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a row of 10 rabbits jumping backwards?

A receding hare line

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CATsInY0urM0uTH
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of rabbits that are walking away?

A receding hare line

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a line of rabbits marching backward?

A receding hare line

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m a bald man and I’m thinking of getting rabbits tattooed on my head.

From a distance they will look like hares.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CineArma
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the magician who got angry?

He pulled out his hare.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArbitraryAlex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
If I go bald, I'm going to get rabbits tattooed all over my head.

Because, from a distance, they'll look like hares.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrOsteel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call three rabbits bouncing backwards in line?

A receding hare line

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SGt_Stiff
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Where would you find flying rabbits?

in the hare force

πŸ‘︎ 163
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pandacoat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report

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