Gift shop Puns

So I work in a gift shop and a major portioin of our merchandise is dedicated to a large display of stuffed animals of varying sizes. Mostly everyone that comes in spends some time looking at them all but I got a special treat with this family today.

The parents and their two kids come in after supper time to look around. The daughters are looking at all the stuffed animals as the dad comes over. Dad immediately grabs the largest stuffed owl we have and holds it out towards his two daughters and wife and asks "WHOOOOOO is this??"

There was a collective sigh from the shop as the father and I crack up laughing. The best part was the stuffed bird's actual name.

Owliver.

The checkout lady started wrapping the two coffee cups that my friend and his fiancé were buying and said

"Now be careful with these, because I'm not good at wrapping." To which the dad said

"It's easy!" And began beat boxing.

Not technically rapping, but still made me cry.

I turned to my gf and said "You know, I might by a book on accidents, but I would never by a book on porpoises."

My pregnant wife was just wondering if the hospital's gift shop was open.

I asked "Why?"

She said she wanted to get something nice. It'll be our last kid. Just something to say "I knew I had it in me to give birth..." Then she chuckled proudly.

If you seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

My wife and I were out shopping, and stumped on what to get for my brother and sister-in-law.

Wife: "Maybe they'd like a berry bowl."

Me: "I don't know, they might find that gift un-berry-bowl."

It was a brisk Saturday morning when Gerald arrived at “The Café,” a hip coffee shop right down the street. Wearing his large, burly black coat, he stared hesitantly at his watch. Thick glasses adorned his bright blue eyes, his gaze like starlight in a clear night sky. He was waiting, intently twiddling his thumbs. After a buzz of his phone, the message from Dad popped up: “Parking now, be there in 5.”

“Dad,” he whispered under his breath, swiping the message away to once again reveal the image on his lock-screen: a hazy picture of an ultrasound.

Gerald had not spoken to his father for three years. They had had a falling out, over which he did not remember. To him it was a competition of who could wait the longest without calling or sending a text. Who could wait the longest: him without a father, or his father without a son? The idea of friction in the relationship hurt like a thorn; piercing his soul more and more everyday. Until recently, out of the blue, “Dad” popped up on his phone. The rest is history. The rest leads to that Saturday morning, at The Café.

Bang! A car door rang out not too far from where Gerald stood. Gerald saw him. His father wore his tweed jacket like a coat of armor. His strut was now weaker than before they stopped talking; a weakness evident in his cane which supported every right step. His shortly trimmed white beard juxtaposed against his uncut, curly grey hair gave him the image of a wise wizard from a fairytale. He used to be that figure to Gerald, yet instead of a nice ancient being acting like a stone to keep him grounded, Gerald had felt as though his father was a rock pulling him deeper and deeper into a sea of monotony. Holding him back from his true potential. Maybe that was why he left? He still did not know.

“Hello, son,” came the withered voice Gerald had sook for so long, yet now that it had arrived wanted to avoid. “I can’t believe it’s been so long!”

“Yeah,” said Gerald, allowing a smile to grace his face. “Too long!”

Then they hugged, signifying a change in their relationship. Gerald had hoped something could happen to bring them closer together. He did not want to go on wondering what could have been. The regret and sadness weighed him down. Before starting a new family, Gerald wanted to be reacquainted with his own.

After finding their table and sitting down, the two began to discuss life. It was like old friends catching up after a long break. Although it took some time, Gerald began to warm u

The neighboring store front and exterminator van in the opening credits have the best punny business names and always crack me up. I'm a fan and would love to name my business in a similar fashion. ETA Examples: I'd Hit That Boxing Gym. Lady and the Clamp, Hardware for Her. A Fridge Too Far. Cupid's Stupid, Divorce Attorneys. A Ton in the Oven, Big and Tall Baby Clothes. Let's Scissor! Collage Studio. Don't Stop Bereaving, Grief Counseling.

But I am So. Stuck.

A little background about my business idea: I'm a personal/sometimes virtual assistant specializing in household admin and management. I'm marketing mostly towards blue collar men who might be widows/divorcees who never had to worry about the general finances and household paperwork. Some of the services offered are: budget setting, bill paying, appointment setting/calendar management, travel arrangements, errands, personal & grocery shopping, pet & house sitting, etc...

I'm ready to take the next steps in making this an actual business and take out some ad space, but the perfectionist in me NEEDS a brilliant name. Can someone please help me? The best I can come up with is some sort of play on Pepper Potts, but I see quite a few VAs out there with that as a business name. I will gift a platinum to the one I like the best if that's appropriate.

Thank you in advance! 🍔

...Thank you for visiting the two-wheeled, self-balancing personal transporter museum today; I hope you had a good time. Speaking of good times, check out the food court and gift shop before you leave.

Me: That's a Segway

In the gift shop, they had a book called "The Book of General Ignorance". The first thing my dad said was, "What war did he fight in?"

In a museum gift shop

Dad (picks up a small globe): "I had one of these when I was a kid, I loved it. It meant the world to me"

My 9yo saw my wife's shopping bag she brought home from the "TYPO" gift store and declared, "Hey, they spelt it wrong."

I said, "Maybe it was just a 'typo'..."

(Photo of TYPO Store) http://www.canelandcentral.com.au/~/media/retail/au/caneland-central/stores/typo8905.ashx?as=0&mh=1130

We were gift shopping and passed by the board games. I looked over at my wife and said "hey honey, i heard Harrison Ford loved this game". After she looked over, I showed her a white box with the name iKnow.

She growned, I laughed. She left the general vicinity and i lost track of her for a while.

I was out shopping with my dad looking to buy a wedding gift. While I'm waiting in line to make my purchase, a woman set down her purchase (about twenty binders) next to my gift on the conveyer belt. Naturally my dad questioned her bizarre purchase, to which she responded that she desperately need to organize her documents. Without missing a beat, he grinned and exclaimed, "Well I guess you were in quite a bind!"

The lady actually had quite a laugh, whereas I groaned and grumbled.

My wife, daughter, and I were shopping for gifts for a baby shower and were checking out after getting what we needed. My wife handed the list to the cashier so should could scan the barcode and here is what happened next:

Me: Oh, you scan that so it shows what has been bought?

Wife: Yeah

Me: I didn't know that. Only thing I've ever bought for a shower is an umbrella.

Cashier laughed, wife just rolled her eyes....

I was over at a friend's house a couple of weeks ago when his dad stopped by. I've had this friend for twenty years, and his father knew me since I was a wee lad. All of the Christmas decorations are strewn through the neighborhood, including my friends neighbors house whose yard is filled with these 4 foot tall wrapped Christmas gifts adorned with colorful lights. My friend's dad looked out the window and saw the boxes. "Say, your neighbors left some pretty big presents out in the yard." My friend replies, "You should take 'em, save money on your. Christmas shopping." His dad instantly says, "They might be too big to fit in my car. Although, they do look pretty...light."