Just think about a calcu-forth
My son has recently taken up an interest in music. We're constantly going back and forth trying to stump the other with trivia. He thought he had me when he chorused, "Hey, dad, what genre are national anthems?!" I laughed, "That's easy!"
And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”
But John came fifth - and won a toaster.
Jesus told Peter, "Come forth and ye shall have eternal life"
But Peter came fifth and won a toaster
My wife was making gravy for dinner, and she added some corn starch, but it got too thick. To thin it out she added some water, but then it was too thin again. It went back and forth a few times before I said...
Ahh. I get it. It’s a viscous cycle.
And Jesus said "come forth and win the kingdom of heaven!"
But I came 5th and won a teapot.
I have a very well groomed garden ornament that perpetually rocks back and forth in perfect rhythm
Brother Maynard, bring forth the ...
Stan Lee says go forth and fill the void
I teach elementary special Ed, and my co-teacher and I joke back and forth all day. This is our most recent best.
Co-teacher: "Students name" came in and said he lost his throat.
Me: Oh no! Did he check where he last remembered having it?
Co-teacher: He couldn't say.
As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply. After some time, Noah came upon two snakes who were just lying there sunning themselves.
So Noah asked them, ”Why aren’t you multiplying?”
The snakes replied, “We can’t, we’re adders.”
So I found this talking train and asked it why it just went back and forth on the same tracks for its whole life. It responded saying “the voices in my head tell me to”.
Back and forth with my 9 year old.
Me- Archer, did you have a cookie?
A- no
Me- grab a cookie and name it yours.
A- I take this cookie and name it Yours.
(A couple seconds go by. )
A- papa?
Me- yeah bud.
A- I gave my cookie a name. I can’t eat it... can I have another? (Failed winking)
Yo-Yo Ma goes back and forth on a string.
The floods had subsided, and Noah had safely landed his ark on Mount Sinai. "Go forth and multiply!" he told the animals...
...and so off they went two by two, and within a few weeks Noah heard the chatter of tiny monkeys, the snarl of tiny tigers and the stomp of baby elephants.
Then he heard something he didn't recognise… a loud, revving buzz coming from the woods. He went in to find out what strange animal's offspring was making this noise, and discovered a pair of snakes wielding a chainsaw.
"What on earth are you doing?" he cried. "You're destroying the trees!"
"Well Noah," the snakes replied, "we tried to multiply as you bade us, but we're adders… so we have to use logs."
And god said go forth and multiply... except for snakes
Because they’re adders...
A man walks into a fishmonger with a trout flopping back and forth under his arm and asks "Do you do fishcakes?"
Pointing at the fish, "Cos it's his birthday."
My Dad got the milk out of the fridge and starting waving it back and forth in front of my face...
Dad: What's that?
Me: I don't know
Dad: It's past-your-eyes milk
Me: Groans
Just had this back and forth with my co-worker. Her husband works in explosives.
Me: seems appropriate for you and yours: http://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/32gzy7/what_was_the_secret_to_the_miners_success/
Her: That’s a dynamite answer!
Me: I noticed the explosion of laughter over there
Her: Rock on!
Me: gold-standard of jokes here
Her: so precious
Me: digging deep on that one
Her: pickin away one at a time
Me: we have definitely hit the pay dirt of mining puns
Her: definite Honey Hole here!
Me: not sure that joke bee-longs here
Her: you are a total BUZZZZZZ kill
Me: comb on it wasn’t that bad
Jesus said unto John. Come forth and receive eternal life.
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And god said to John “come forth and ye shall receive eternal life.”
But John came in fifth and only got a toaster.
And god said to John, come forth and receive eternal life
But he cane fifth and won a toaster
...and God said "come forth and I will grant you eternal life."
But I came fifth and just got a toaster.
And Jesus said "Come forth and receive eternal life."
But Peter came in fifth and won a toaster.
And the Lord said unto John: Come forth and you will receive eternal life.
But John came fifth, and won a toaster.
God said to John " come forth and receive eternal life"
But he came fifth and won a toaster
The Lord said to John: Come forth and receive eternal life.
But, John came 5th and got a toaster.
Jesus said "come forth and receive eternal life"
But Paul came fifth and got a toaster
The Lord told John to come forth and he will receive eternal life
He came fifth and got a toaster
And god said to John come forth and receive eternal life
But he came fifth and won a toaster
The lord told John to come forth and he shall have eternal life.
But he came in fifth and got a toaster.
And the Lord said onto John " Come Forth and ye shall receive eternal life."
But sadly John came in fifth and only received a toaster.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life".
John came fifth and won a toaster.
Then God said to John "Come forth and receive eternal life"
He came fifth and won a toaster.
Jesus said, come forth and I'll give you eternal life
Peter came fifth and he won a toaster.
As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply…
After some time, Noah came upon two snakes who were just lying there sunning themselves.
So Noah asked them,”Why aren’t you multiplying?”
The snakes replied, “We can’t, we’re adders.”
And the Lord said unto John; "Come forth and receive eternal life!"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
*...and the Lord said unto John, "Go forth and you shall have eternal life."*
....but John got fifth and won a toaster.
God said "Come forth, and you shall receive eternal life"
But John came fifth, and won a toaster.
And The Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life"
...but John came in fifth and won a toaster.
Jesus said come forth my son
But I tripped and came fifth
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