From the Closed Captioning on the movie Onward
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreetingsADM
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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Onwards wheeled horse
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IcedBlue13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2018
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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When did Yoda realize that he would be little?

His first word was β€œiota”.

... and so it was spoken, from then onward, into existence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arc-ion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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We should enjoy Mayonnaise while we still can!

From Saturday onwards, it's gonna be Juneonnaise!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigDisk
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
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My dad told me this one when I was a kid

Once upon a time, there was a bull named Hannibal.

One day, he looked to the adjacent field, seperated by barbed wire, and saw a beautiful female cow grazing there. Naturally, being the show-off that he was, he decided to jump over the barbed wire fence to impress the lady. From that day onward, people just called him Hanni.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joris914
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
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