Sometimes I like to tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.

That’s just how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lucille68
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
My boyfriend told me he already turned the clocks forward an hour in the kitchen. I told him he is a man ahead of his time.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/haimeows
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, did you remember to move the clocks forward last night?”

β€˜Yeah, but they fell off the shelf.”

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
After getting the first shot I'm really not looking forward to the second.

9mm bullets hurt like hell.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I was having a glass of wine with my wife after a long day and I heard her say "I love you so much and always look forward to being with you at the end of the day. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Is that you or the wine talking?" I asked. She replied "It's me...

...talking to the wine."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m really looking forward to being an old man

I have to. I can’t look back on it.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/superdad0206
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Most Americans are looking forward to December 2020 because Trump should be gone Biden.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/golubeerji
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.

But my Brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.

I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shaggie42069
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A β€˜divine’ healer in his β€˜miracle’ ministry called, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed for, please come forward to the front."

With that, John got in line and when it was his turn the Pastor asked, " John, what do you want me to pray for you?"

John replied, "Pastor, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."

The Pastor put one finger of one hand on John's ear, placed his other hand on top of John's head, and then prayed and prayed and the whole congregation joined in with much enthusiasm. After a few minutes, the Pastor removed his hands, stood back and asked: "John, how is your hearing now?"

John answered, "I don't know. My hearing is actually next Thursday in the "Magistrate Court."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the Russian drive forward?

His car was Putin reverse.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know chickens can only walk forward?

Yeah, they can't go bock.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ConstableBrew
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
There are rumors that Tesla is considering on a stretched, three row version of their Model X SUV. The project is on Musk's desk waiting for a decision on whether to go forward.

Their next car is Elon gated.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Looking forward to the Fall, when I can make serious money gathering leaves..

..Raked it in last year.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I don’t know how you guys get home every night but, I squat down, put my head between my knees and fall forward.

That’s how I roll

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blueholeload
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I am asking the last person that was able to ask Regis Philbin a question to please come forward.

I have to know what his final answer was.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_E_L_Bawks
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Depending on your golf handicap you can move your tee forwards or backwards

Move it too far forward and it becomes a birdie tee.

Too far back and it becomes a bogey tee

Get it just right?

Now that's a party.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Looking forward to it
πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/puntasticuser
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister always gets mad whenever I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward

I’m sorry but that’s how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/darraghq16
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm not looking forward to my wife having the baby

I hate meeting new people

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
People who pull forward into parking spots are living in the moment. Those who back up into the spot, are thinking about the future.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FatMetalJesus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Found in r/WellThatSucks: "xWas looking forward to having some nice bread from a local bakery :(" posted by u/TheWrigglerr
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FalconLord92
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What's something you looked forward to as a kid but now don't like?

Blizzard.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danmanx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m looking forward to the new Hell’s Kitchen pasta episode

A real Al dente’s inferno

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/badjayplaness
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
People with glasses are really looking forward to next year...

It's the first time they will see 20/20.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsJustPeter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
There are so many things that I am looking forward to in the new year...

You could say that my vision is 2020.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
(x-post r/jokes) My wife told me that she couldn't turn her neck because it hurts so much, so I told her to look forward to a massage tonight...

...Since she can't look sideways anyways...

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Totally_a_Banana
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve never met this guy but he posts food puns on every single food picture I post and he’s such a treasure. I always look forward to his puns now.
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BushyEyes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Im really looking forward to the new Hacking Twist in Call of Duty!

They call it Modem Warfare!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/meistereder420
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I bring my knees to my head and lean forwards...

...that's just how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smoll_boi_fire
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What is heavy going forward and not going back.

-

-

-

A Ton

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/snyluc13
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
At a funeral a man sits Behind the woman who’s husband just died. The man leans forward and asks, β€œdo u mind if I say a word?” she responds, β€œNot at all, please do.” the man stands up and says β€œplethora” and sits back down.

β€œThanks,” said the woman, β€œthat means a lot.”

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/turboboob
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m very optimistic about the upcoming U.S. elections. I feel as though the country will be able to move forward with a strong, clear vision.

It is 2020, after all.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kttypo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I like to put my head between me legs and fall forward....

But that's just how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/metalmarky82
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I squat down, hold my knees to my chest, and lean forward

Because that’s how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cleverless
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward

That's just how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/red_snake0329
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I tuck my knees up into my chest and lean forward.

That's just how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yankee9Niner
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Sometimes i tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.

Thats just how i roll

πŸ‘︎ 112
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shamudawhale51
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.

That's just how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.

That's just how I roll

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I touch my knees to my chest and lean forward,

That’s just how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 294
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jackdaking746
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward

That’s how I roll

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward

That’s just how I roll

πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Master-Salamander
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.

That's just how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 432
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orduk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Sometime I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward

But that's just how I roll

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward

That’s just how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amiur
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I touch my knees to my chest and lean forward.

That’s just how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/swirley-wirley
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.

That’s just how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/going_placidly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report

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