Sometimes I like to tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.
Thatβs just how I roll.
π︎ 72
π
︎ Apr 03 2021
My boyfriend told me he already turned the clocks forward an hour in the kitchen. I told him he is a man ahead of his time.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
βDad, did you remember to move the clocks forward last night?β
βYeah, but they fell off the shelf.β
π︎ 27
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
After getting the first shot I'm really not looking forward to the second.
9mm bullets hurt like hell.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 09 2021
I was having a glass of wine with my wife after a long day and I heard her say "I love you so much and always look forward to being with you at the end of the day. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Is that you or the wine talking?" I asked. She replied "It's me...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
Iβm really looking forward to being an old man
I have to. I canβt look back on it.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
Most Americans are looking forward to December 2020 because Trump should be gone Biden.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.
But my Brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.
I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
A βdivineβ healer in his βmiracleβ ministry called, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed for, please come forward to the front."
With that, John got in line and when it was his turn the Pastor asked, " John, what do you want me to pray for you?"
John replied, "Pastor, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."
The Pastor put one finger of one hand on John's ear, placed his other hand on top of John's head, and then prayed and prayed and the whole congregation joined in with much enthusiasm. After a few minutes, the Pastor removed his hands, stood back and asked: "John, how is your hearing now?"
John answered, "I don't know. My hearing is actually next Thursday in the "Magistrate Court."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
Why couldnβt the Russian drive forward?
His car was Putin reverse.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
Did you know chickens can only walk forward?
Yeah, they can't go bock.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
There are rumors that Tesla is considering on a stretched, three row version of their Model X SUV. The project is on Musk's desk waiting for a decision on whether to go forward.
Their next car is Elon gated.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
Looking forward to the Fall, when I can make serious money gathering leaves..
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
I donβt know how you guys get home every night but, I squat down, put my head between my knees and fall forward.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 08 2020
I am asking the last person that was able to ask Regis Philbin a question to please come forward.
I have to know what his final answer was.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 26 2020
Looking forward to it
π︎ 80
π
︎ Jul 11 2019
Depending on your golf handicap you can move your tee forwards or backwards
Move it too far forward and it becomes a birdie tee.
Too far back and it becomes a bogey tee
Get it just right?
Now that's a party.
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 02 2020
My sister always gets mad whenever I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward
Iβm sorry but thatβs how I roll.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 29 2020
People who pull forward into parking spots are living in the moment. Those who back up into the spot, are thinking about the future.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 24 2019
I'm not looking forward to my wife having the baby
I hate meeting new people
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 25 2020
Found in r/WellThatSucks: "xWas looking forward to having some nice bread from a local bakery :(" posted by u/TheWrigglerr
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 28 2019
What's something you looked forward to as a kid but now don't like?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 10 2019
Iβm looking forward to the new Hellβs Kitchen pasta episode
A real Al denteβs inferno
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 03 2020
People with glasses are really looking forward to next year...
It's the first time they will see 20/20.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 03 2019
There are so many things that I am looking forward to in the new year...
You could say that my vision is 2020.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 25 2019
Iβve never met this guy but he posts food puns on every single food picture I post and heβs such a treasure. I always look forward to his puns now.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Apr 19 2019
(x-post r/jokes) My wife told me that she couldn't turn her neck because it hurts so much, so I told her to look forward to a massage tonight...
...Since she can't look sideways anyways...
π︎ 79
π
︎ Mar 05 2019
I bring my knees to my head and lean forwards...
...that's just how I roll.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 29 2019
Im really looking forward to the new Hacking Twist in Call of Duty!
They call it Modem Warfare!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 23 2019
At a funeral a man sits Behind the woman whoβs husband just died. The man leans forward and asks, βdo u mind if I say a word?β she responds, βNot at all, please do.β the man stands up and says βplethoraβ and sits back down.
βThanks,β said the woman, βthat means a lot.β
π︎ 50
π
︎ Feb 24 2019
What is heavy going forward and not going back.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 15 2019
Iβm very optimistic about the upcoming U.S. elections. I feel as though the country will be able to move forward with a strong, clear vision.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 06 2019
Sometimes I like to put my head between me legs and fall forward....
But that's just how I roll.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 27 2019
Sometimes I squat down, hold my knees to my chest, and lean forward
Because thatβs how I roll.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward
π︎ 66
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
Sometimes I tuck my knees up into my chest and lean forward.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
Sometimes i tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.
π︎ 113
π
︎ Jul 08 2020
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
Sometimes I touch my knees to my chest and lean forward,
Thatβs just how I roll.
π︎ 296
π
︎ Apr 14 2020
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward
π︎ 14
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward
π︎ 95
π
︎ Feb 02 2020
I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.
π︎ 438
π
︎ Sep 23 2019
Sometime I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward
But that's just how I roll
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 24 2020
Sometimes I touch my knees to my chest and lean forward.
Thatβs just how I roll.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jul 05 2019
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.
Thatβs just how I roll.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 08 2019
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward
Thatβs just how I roll.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 05 2019
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