What kind of flooring does the snake-loving architect design all of his homes with?

Reptile

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/beemoh808
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
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Flooring
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bongnazi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 07 2019
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We can't decide whether to put in soft pink or baby blue flooring in the nursery

It's an infantile problem

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lfantine
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 14 2020
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My friend invented highly explosive decorative flooring...

It's pretty vola-tile.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2020
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Vinyl Flooring
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Redwards2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2018
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My dad can't stop talking about getting granite tiles for our flooring

Probably because he has lost his marble(s).

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/floorballouis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2019
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Why is wooden flooring considered not suitable for vegetarians?

Because there’s laminate of course.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hopsinjoor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18 2019
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I wanted to redo the flooring in my living room, but I did not have enough tiles...

It was a few'tile effort.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/v_cleaner
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11 2015
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The latest thing in flooring are these ductile floor tiles. They’re great because they’re flexible but...

They have a tendency to quack

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mdmcstuffins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2017
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What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?

Carpet dem.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zoolilba
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2017
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Heard of that guy that can move flooring with his just his mind?

He uses Tile-epathy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/perediablo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2015
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Did you hear about the man who tried to use apples and oranges as flooring?

He had started to lay them down before he realized it was fruit-tile.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Shmoopaloop
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2014
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Need help with a pun

I work for a flooring company and my boss asked me to design some merch. He asked for a flooring pun I could put on a T Shirt. Any ideas??

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Raistrikk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2020
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I dropped an egg onto a concrete floor and it didn't break.

This is because concrete floors are really hard.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 827
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
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When I found my little son on the floor, I briefly thought a murder took place

Fortunately, it was just a kid napping.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ewormPL
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
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After achieving universal peace, the Guardians of the Galaxy settled down and opened a floor tile business.

I Am Grout

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2021
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A true story: My boyfriend and I were in the dairy aisle of the grocery store. He tosses a pack of sliced cheese into the cart it ricochets and falls to the floor. β€œKobe!” I shout. β€œNo.” He says in a disappointed tone...

...Colby

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CutieWitaBooty2013
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2021
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Opened the electric bill and the Wife can't understand why i'm on the floor laughing.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JJJoyce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2020
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If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just gently kick them under the refrigerator.

Soon It’ll just be water under the fridge.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 441
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheAvacadoBandit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2020
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Climbing through my window on the first floor was easy. But if it was the second floor,

That'd be a different story all together.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 293
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Retro_Lancer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2020
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A Bishop's Twitter Post
πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheRealAjmera
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2020
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I don't like your Italian marble floor.

Well That's like Europinion man

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/harshamfk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2020
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Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.

My 10 year old son: Don't worry, it's not a big dill. My wife while looking at me: -.-

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ProfessorPeterr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2020
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I went to a Roman bathroom on the 6th floor

Yes, it was the VI P room

πŸ‘οΈŽ 62
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2020
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I told my friend a joke and he fell on the floor from laughter

I guess some people cant stand jokes

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OshriM
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2020
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What do you call a cow that fell on the floor

Ground beef

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheWeirdLama
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2020
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Woman on the floor: help! Someone call me an ambulance

Me: Hi ambulance.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/saugatRJ
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
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What kind of floors do Ghosts prefer in their homes?

Bam-Boo floors.

Happy Halloween to all!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crowkiller06
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2020
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What did the first floor say to the second floor?

I’m board.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/charons-voyage
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
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Pixar is making a Finding Nemo sequel where he opens McDonald’s locations on the ocean floor.

It’s called The Flounder.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/whaddayagondo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2020
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There is always something going wrong on the top floor of my house.

Id say its a problem-attic

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iamchrisp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
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Did you hear about the neighbors floor made out of 10,000 pennies?

Looks like a hundred bucks!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theflintseeker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2020
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I β€œpea’d” on the floor.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The-TrueNugget
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 28 2020
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I feel so bad for the floor..

Everyone just walks all over it

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/archiewalton09
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 10 2020
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My boyfriend’s cat, Jack, recently discovered the Amazon box lying on the floor. He jumped in and started playing in it. I guess you can say....

He’s Jack in the box.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/itsmeeeskai
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
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Farting in a packed elevator...

It's wrong on so many levels.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 195
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mac_OrchardYT
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2020
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Did you hear about the comedian who fell through some floor boards?

He was just going through a stage

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 19 2020
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I own a steakhouse pub in which the counter can actually pop in and out of the floor

Let's say I raised the bar and set the steaks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SumFunnyOne
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2020
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I was watching a live performance when the floor gave way and one of the actors fell through. My wife asked if I thought they were ok.

I said I’m sure they’re fine, it’s just a stage they’re going through.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DinglebarryHandpump
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2020
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What did our lord and savior do when He noticed the temple floor was dirty?

Jesus swept.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/42alj
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2020
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What substance do they make disco floors out of?

Getdowntonite

πŸ‘οΈŽ 109
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bluestu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 09 2020
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Falling from 3 floors isn’t that bad…

But 4 floors is another story.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CorbanzoBean69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 23 2020
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Ella
πŸ‘οΈŽ 44
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2020
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floor gang awhoo
πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Daniel326435
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2020
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There’s nothing like the first floor of a house. But the upstairs...

Well that’s a different story.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Reverse_Chode
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 17 2020
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I think we all should use nothing but mops and brooms to clean our floors

I guess that means I'm anti-vacs.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nashvulnative
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2020
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We moved to a second floor apartment with ceiling fans.

I can now say I have fans in high places.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/UchihaSasuke019
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
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Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?

The teacher told him not to use tables

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2020
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What does the Mexican carpet fitter say whenever he lays a new floor?

Underlay! Underlay!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EskimoJake
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2020
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I dropped my steak on the floor

Now it’s ground beef

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mazzylove
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
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I was in an elevator and got out at the 10th floor.

The operator said β€˜Have a nice day son’. β€˜Don’t call me son’ I said. β€˜You’re not my dad’ The operator scratched his head and said β€˜No, but I brought you up didn’t I?’

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/debin_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2020
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LPT: If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, gently slide them under your refrigerator.

Soon, it’ll be water under the fridge.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2020
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An actor I know fell through the floor once.

But it was just a stage he was going through.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/banditk77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2020
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