What kind of flooring does the snake-loving architect design all of his homes with?
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οΈ Dec 31 2020
Flooring
ποΈ 4k
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οΈ Jul 07 2019
We can't decide whether to put in soft pink or baby blue flooring in the nursery
It's an infantile problem
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οΈ Jun 14 2020
My friend invented highly explosive decorative flooring...
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οΈ Jan 29 2020
Vinyl Flooring
ποΈ 2k
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οΈ Feb 23 2018
My dad can't stop talking about getting granite tiles for our flooring
Probably because he has lost his marble(s).
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Sep 13 2019
Why is wooden flooring considered not suitable for vegetarians?
Because thereβs laminate of course.
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οΈ Apr 18 2019
I wanted to redo the flooring in my living room, but I did not have enough tiles...
It was a few'tile effort.
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οΈ Sep 11 2015
The latest thing in flooring are these ductile floor tiles. Theyβre great because theyβre flexible but...
They have a tendency to quack
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Sep 23 2017
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
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οΈ Aug 29 2017
Heard of that guy that can move flooring with his just his mind?
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Oct 22 2015
Did you hear about the man who tried to use apples and oranges as flooring?
He had started to lay them down before he realized it was fruit-tile.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Nov 10 2014
Need help with a pun
I work for a flooring company and my boss asked me to design some merch. He asked for a flooring pun I could put on a T Shirt. Any ideas??
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Oct 14 2020
I dropped an egg onto a concrete floor and it didn't break.
This is because concrete floors are really hard.
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οΈ Nov 26 2020
When I found my little son on the floor, I briefly thought a murder took place
Fortunately, it was just a kid napping.
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οΈ Jan 15 2021
After achieving universal peace, the Guardians of the Galaxy settled down and opened a floor tile business.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Jan 16 2021
A true story: My boyfriend and I were in the dairy aisle of the grocery store. He tosses a pack of sliced cheese into the cart it ricochets and falls to the floor. βKobe!β I shout. βNo.β He says in a disappointed tone...
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Jan 08 2021
Opened the electric bill and the Wife can't understand why i'm on the floor laughing.
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Dec 06 2020
If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just gently kick them under the refrigerator.
Soon Itβll just be water under the fridge.
ποΈ 441
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οΈ Oct 12 2020
Climbing through my window on the first floor was easy. But if it was the second floor,
That'd be a different story all together.
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οΈ Oct 17 2020
A Bishop's Twitter Post
ποΈ 13k
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οΈ Nov 29 2020
I don't like your Italian marble floor.
Well That's like Europinion man
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Dec 25 2020
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
My 10 year old son: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
My wife while looking at me: -.-
ποΈ 20
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οΈ Oct 21 2020
I went to a Roman bathroom on the 6th floor
Yes, it was the VI P room
ποΈ 62
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οΈ Oct 15 2020
I told my friend a joke and he fell on the floor from laughter
I guess some people cant stand jokes
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Dec 03 2020
What do you call a cow that fell on the floor
ποΈ 23
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οΈ Oct 14 2020
Woman on the floor: help! Someone call me an ambulance
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Nov 27 2020
What kind of floors do Ghosts prefer in their homes?
Bam-Boo floors.
Happy Halloween to all!
ποΈ 20
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οΈ Oct 28 2020
What did the first floor say to the second floor?
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Oct 10 2020
Pixar is making a Finding Nemo sequel where he opens McDonaldβs locations on the ocean floor.
Itβs called The Flounder.
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Nov 04 2020
There is always something going wrong on the top floor of my house.
Id say its a problem-attic
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Oct 22 2020
Did you hear about the neighbors floor made out of 10,000 pennies?
Looks like a hundred bucks!
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Oct 05 2020
I βpeaβdβ on the floor.
ποΈ 14
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οΈ Aug 28 2020
I feel so bad for the floor..
Everyone just walks all over it
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Sep 10 2020
My boyfriendβs cat, Jack, recently discovered the Amazon box lying on the floor. He jumped in and started playing in it. I guess you can say....
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Oct 01 2020
Farting in a packed elevator...
It's wrong on so many levels.
ποΈ 195
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οΈ Dec 27 2020
Did you hear about the comedian who fell through some floor boards?
He was just going through a stage
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Sep 19 2020
I own a steakhouse pub in which the counter can actually pop in and out of the floor
Let's say I raised the bar and set the steaks.
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Oct 02 2020
I was watching a live performance when the floor gave way and one of the actors fell through. My wife asked if I thought they were ok.
I said Iβm sure theyβre fine, itβs just a stage theyβre going through.
ποΈ 21
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οΈ Sep 22 2020
What did our lord and savior do when He noticed the temple floor was dirty?
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Oct 03 2020
What substance do they make disco floors out of?
ποΈ 109
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οΈ Jul 09 2020
Falling from 3 floors isnβt that badβ¦
But 4 floors is another story.
ποΈ 29
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οΈ Jun 23 2020
Ella
ποΈ 44
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οΈ Dec 23 2020
floor gang awhoo
ποΈ 24
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οΈ Jul 12 2020
Thereβs nothing like the first floor of a house. But the upstairs...
Well thatβs a different story.
ποΈ 63
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οΈ Jun 17 2020
I think we all should use nothing but mops and brooms to clean our floors
I guess that means I'm anti-vacs.
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Aug 15 2020
We moved to a second floor apartment with ceiling fans.
I can now say I have fans in high places.
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Jul 28 2020
Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?
The teacher told him not to use tables
ποΈ 21
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οΈ Jun 27 2020
What does the Mexican carpet fitter say whenever he lays a new floor?
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Aug 22 2020
I dropped my steak on the floor
ποΈ 19
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οΈ Jul 28 2020
I was in an elevator and got out at the 10th floor.
The operator said βHave a nice day sonβ. βDonβt call me sonβ I said. βYouβre not my dadβ
The operator scratched his head and said βNo, but I brought you up didnβt I?β
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Jun 07 2020
LPT: If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, gently slide them under your refrigerator.
Soon, itβll be water under the fridge.
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Nov 01 2020
An actor I know fell through the floor once.
But it was just a stage he was going through.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Sep 14 2020
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