I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.

It was an....unmanned aircraft.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards

I'm sure that must have been a record

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/custardy_cream
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
A bird flew into the warehouse and we had to catch it

So we decided to set up a Boobie Trap

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Canadianstig77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I just flew in from Chernobyl

And boy are my arms legs

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zaktor09
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
True story: As kids, my sister and I were fighting over the TV remote and it got heated. The remote flew across the room and a couple AAA batteries fell out. My sister threw one at me, and I grabbed a nearby salt shaker and threw it at her.

My mother, who was watching this go down, just laughs and says, "Assault and battery!"

She then left the room, cackling.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danieltkessler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew of the shelves.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/operasmurf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What's green and flew over Germany?

Snot-zis

(One of my father's favorite's growing up)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MysteryMove
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Last time I flew my plane a Navy pilot checked his speed right after me. Ground said he was doing 761 mph.

Knot gonna lie I think he was mach-ing me.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MahlonMurder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I was milking a cow and a fly flew in its ear.

I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.

Edit: corrected an udder failure.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
An old woman flew overseas for the first time.

She said it was an uplifting experience

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordoftheClouds00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mummy that just woke up and is still convinced he’s ruler of Egypt? When told β€˜that’s impossible’ he flew into a rage, ran away, and jumped in a river.

People say he’s in da Nile

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?

A flamingstop.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I just flew in from a Transformers convention.

And boy my arms are tires.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nwa747
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Chewbacca crash the Millennium Falcon the first time he flew it

It was a Wookie mistake

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GTR-1003
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
An insect just flew into my room and exploded...

I think it was a Jihaddy long legs.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My son and I were hunting when we scared up a flock of mallards and geese. They farted as they flew away...

"That was fowl," I told my son.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My burger flew away today

I ordered it plane

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imkindaspiffy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Bird flew into the window today. No fowl play suspected as of now.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnarkiestofSharks
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What did they call the wright brothers after they flew away?

The left brothers...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bazzman
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I was making a sandwich and all of a sudden it flew away

I guess my butterflies

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Princellalaland
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The Monkees are touring Switzerland and my wife threatened to leave me unless we flew out there to see them. I thought she was joking.......

Then I saw her face, Now we're in Geneva.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the bee say when he flew inside a sports car?

β€œSorry, I Mustang.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NikoBuffalogna
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy just flew straight at my ultralight in his jet and gave me an unpleasant look...

He Lear-ed at me.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
During George's administration, the Taliban flew a plane into the twin towers

I guess they weren't beating around the Bush.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the optometrist say when the Russian aircraft flew past at lightning speed?

He felt it might have been an optical Illyushin

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the astronaut that accidentally flew out into open space?

He couldn't understand the gravity of the situation.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Overlevendeftw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Just flew in from Asgard

And boy, are my arms Thor!

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pnw_discchick
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I was at the beach today and there was a group of pelicans not doing anything. I concentrated hard on one pelican and suddenly if flew out to the water, snagged a fish in his bill and flew back to shore. "Wow", I thought to myself..

Pelikinesis is a real thing.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SchitzPopinov719
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
They flew right over her head.
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NanookZappa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Icarus flew too close to the sun and failed miserably.

What a soar loser.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clifwith1f
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
This pun flew over most people's heads.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mark_VDB
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2018
🚨︎ report
One thing is for certain about the men who invented, built, and flew the world's first successful airplane at Kitty Hawk...

They were the Wright brothers for the job

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow who flew away in the tornado ?

What a udder disaster !

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Had an unexpected confrontation with death today. Damn bug flew right into my eye.

I’m still trying to get some closure.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hunkerdown
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My mom got in a bicycle wreck today after a wasp flew into her shirt. This is what my dad said:

"When people ask, mom can just say "you should see the other guy. He reached down my shirt, we got in a fight, and I killed him!""

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scrollingmediator
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A bug flew into my mouth

Oh heck what's the name of it? it's on the tip of my tongue...

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lui_Le_Diamond
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Two melons flew to Vegas to get married, but one of them called it off at the last minute.

He said, β€œIt may be easy for you to say β€˜hun, I do’, but I cantaloupe.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mhwal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Just flew in from L.A!

Gosh, my arms are tired.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/koodallas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
If I flew a plane in the Caribbeanβ€˜s

Would I be a pilot of the Caribbean’s?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/romanator25
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.

I'm sure that must have been a record.

πŸ‘︎ 447
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I just flew in from Chernobyl,

and boy are my arms legs.

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShtyBill
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Chewbacca crashed the Millenium Falcon the first time he flew it.

Wookiee mistake.

πŸ‘︎ 151
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dashie1985
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I just flew in from a Transformers convention

And boy are my arms tires

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mumzaa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report

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