best place to find puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nouganouga
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...

Riceless

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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My boss said, β€œI find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”

I said, β€œIt must be my weekend immune system.”

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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Though I did find the color palate of this particular film rather surprising
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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I come up with a really lame two word gay joke the other day that i was afraid my gay mate might find offensive

Butt willy?

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/josuhataylor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.

I have contacts.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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I can't find my 'Gone In 60 seconds' DVD.

It was here a minute ago.

πŸ‘︎ 463
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?

It’s not hard.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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So you find the perfect Asian gal, you get up the courage to speak to her, you walk over and start small talk, you ask her name, and you find out...

Shi Tou Yong

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skycooper11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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I just bought a dictionary today and bought it home to find out that all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Where do you find a turtle with no legs?

Right where you left it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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Why can you never find a hippo hiding in a tree?

Because they are so good at it.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SumOfMostFears
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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I used to be a flat earther. I even set out to sail across the ocean to find the big ice wall.

But eventually I came around.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jradio610
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
How did you find your steak, sir?

Right next to the potatoes.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shazbeer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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There was a joke I wanted to share with my family but I can’t find it on here..

I literally just reddit.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iTzbr00tal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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Where should you go to find a date after you leave your ex?

The Y!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't find my scrubber in the shower

It's aloof-ah

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abeen30
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Ngl I find it pretty funny
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rinkemax
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was digging through the wardrobe on the weekend, I managed to find a present for the kids that I wrapped in a box last year and forgot to give them. Bargain

Can't wait to see their faces when they realize they have a puppy.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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I was up all of last night, trying to find my keys

Then it dawned on me

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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police find two teenagers eating and drinking fireworks and battery acid

one was let off and the other one was charged

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nds_fan_using_emu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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When he found out I was sick, my friend messaged me, hoping that I will quickly find a deep hole in a ground full of water.

I'm happy he wished me to get well soon.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
How does a giraffe find a job?

Through neckworking.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/khalizziebeth
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy walks into a bar to find pieces of meat hanging above him…

He asks the barman about it and the barman explains, β€œIf you can jump up and hit one, you’ll get a free drink, but if you miss, you have to buy everyone a round!”

The guy looks up and ponders for a minute then replies, β€œNah, the steaks are too high.”

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snrckrd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I heard they want to find a new actor to play Iron Man

Guess they'll need to cast someone.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abhishekms89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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My girlfriend in college was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.

I wonder what she’s up to now.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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Goldilocks, running from the 3 bears, finds herself in a dead end with nothing but a bag of ice. Papa bear is Drunk and scary. What happens next?

A Goldy-smack with a cold sack in a cul de sac, which is more than a bear with beer could bare.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Sometimes, when you find yourself walking through a shallow pool for no reason...

...you have to stop and ask yourself what you’re wading for...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sully1227
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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I opened my radiator to find a lone insect, wearing sunglasses and a leather jecket. It said. "ayyyy!"

It was a cool ant.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I find it really hard to say what my wife does for a living.

She sells seashells by the sea shore.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
As this year is coming to a close, I find myself thinking about all the things I would have done differently.

Seems like I got 20/20 hindsight.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MadSlingshoter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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I can't find my limbo bar. Someone must have stolen it!

I mean, how low can you go?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How am I supposed to find the Big Apple?

I don’t even know where the Minneapolis!

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lacazadora66
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?

Easy. Just look for fresh prints.

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EMOmosie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't think I'll ever find a stable job

To be honest I'm not too comfortable around horses.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/APunchToThePuss
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the well driller sing to his customers when he couldn't find water for them.

Noel Noel Noel

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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To whoever stole my microsoft account, I will find you...

You have my word.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_NotSlimShady
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I find it strange that reckless drivers...

Wreck more.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supercman99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
You know how when you find a Genie's lamp, you're supposed to rub it?

Does that mean when you find a Frog's lamp, you Ribbit?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Silly--Cybin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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I couldn't find my pizza cutter last night, so I used an old Bryan Adams album.

Because it cuts like a knife.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShawntheShiba
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Just came home to find all my doors and windows open, everything's gone!

Who would do that to another person's Advent Calendar?!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flabbergash
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.

He fits the bill.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sbatio
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I just bought a Thesaurus at the store and bought it home to find all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

πŸ‘︎ 197
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you find Will Smith in snow?

You look for the fresh prints

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrinceGubbleBum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Look for the fresh prints.

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomLOoL
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Look for the Fresh Prints! hehe

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yipyopyupyap
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for fresh prints

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dnice_556
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you find Will Smith after a snow storm?

You follow the fresh prints

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ace1986
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
You stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you.

You have my Word.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConfidentDuck1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report

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