A guy’s Mom comes to visit him at his job at the aquarium where she finds him feeding a baby dolphin. She says look at you, you were smart. You could have had a real job, really done some good for the world. Her son snapped back,...

Hey, my job serves a youthful porpoise!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectOcoee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no wifi and couldn’t find the information I wanted.

I wound up using cellular.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaconShrimpEyes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I was proud of it but none of my friends really appreciated it, so maybe it’ll find some love here.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nugget_666
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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I went to 3 different stores trying to find some paper towels....

I guess you could call me a Bounty hunter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wbgsccgc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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Some might find my dad jokes "childish”.

However, they're perfectly appropriate for groan adults.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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I looked in the cupboard to find some Indian bread

But we had naan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deepBlueCheese
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.

Please don’t make fun of my re-seeding hare line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saulfineman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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LPT: If you have trouble remembering your password, find a picture of some running shoes and stare at it.

maybe it'll help jog your memory.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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I thought if a bad pun, thought I might find some friends if I posted it here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rjstoz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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I've been looking for some new hunting gear but good camouflage is hard to find.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shoopdebop
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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I tried to bury some old cookware but I couldn't find a spot anywhere to put my pans.

All I saw were potholes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/red667
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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Hey fellow dads need some help: If someone finds me hot

Do I play it off cool.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpiderKnight68
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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I asked my friend if she could find some quotes about happiness for me

she said she was positive she could find some

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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I tried to find some blood

But it was in vein

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doyoueverjustleft
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
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I think this is an attractive piece. I surveyed the field. Some people find it repulsive. It's rather polarizing.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DINC44
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
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Tried looking everywhere for some bread in Ecuador’s capital, but couldn’t find any.

They are all on the keto diet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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I did some research to find out that NASCAR is a distant cousin of Formula One.

I’m just trying to improve race relations.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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Some people find dad jokes corny.

I find them amaizeing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Domthehuman1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
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I was going to microwave some popcorn, but I couldn't find the time...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobertThyngema
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2014
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My daughter had some rumbly noises going on in her diaper while she was eating her snack today. Afterward I checked her diaper. Bracing myself, I was surprised to find she pulled a Vladimir

There was no poop. She was just Putin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CowboyFromSmell
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
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I asked my dad if he could hide some eggs for me to find

He said he had and that he had already found them.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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I tried to find some dirt on Louis CK

Turns out he's a stand up guy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mvanvoorden
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2017
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I can't find any evidence of this pun after some searches...(OC?)

Me- I meet an interesting person the other day

Her- Oh, ok?

Me- Turns out he runs a school

Her- Not too interesting so far...

Me- Yeah, but it's a school for protons, neutrons and electrons

Her- umm, sorry, what?

Me- Yeah, but it's the Principal of the matter, you see?

eyeroll intensifies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/somethingwickednc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2015
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Friend said he needed to find some glass for a project.

I told him to get a newspaper and check the glassified section.

He didn't like it. :(

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πŸ‘€︎ u/likes_spicy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2016
🚨︎ report
I can't find any evidence of this pun after some searches... (OC?)

Me- I meet an interesting person the other day

Her- Oh, ok?

Me- Turns out he runs a school

Her- Not too interesting so far...

Me- But it's a school for protons, neutrons and electrons

Her- umm, sorry, what?

Me- Yeah, but it's the Principal of the matter, you see?

eyeroll intensifies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/somethingwickednc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2015
🚨︎ report

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