Turns out it was no laughing matter.
Because manslaughter is a crime.
I guess they're inside jokes.
That joke was so funny I nearly wet my plants!
Because they are in bad taste
They're all laughtose intolerant
I just think they’re humerus
Tesco have taken 1p off petrol it is now called etrol
So she can get her dad's yolks.
I was in line for a ride at an amusement park with my family and boyfriend, when my dad saw a sign just like this one http://imgur.com/3dGi1hU.
He takes one look at it, and without speaking directly to anyone in my family he says "Miracles this way? Must be one hell of a ride."
Then he just looked at me with the biggest smirk on his face, like he had just said the funniest thing anyone could ever say. I love that man.
Side Note: I'm older and moved out of the house and I find these jokes funny now. I just found this sub and wanted to share a piece of my childhood.
When I was around 10 years old, I jumped in a pool and instantly started shivering. My dad looks at me and says "Did the turtle go back in the shell?"
Another time, my older brother was making a sandwich and had it finished sitting on a plate on the counter. My brother turned around to put the stuff away in the fridge and in that minuet my dad walked up stairs grabbed the sandwich and walked back down stairs.
Talking to my dad about a coworker.
Me: "Yeah I can't really understand him cuz his accent is so heavy"
Dad: "How much would you say it weighs?"
He starts cracking up as I just leave the room.
Me: What do Muslims say when they find something funny?
Dad: ...
Me: Ha-lol.
Dad: Inshallahaha
My lady friend and I were on the phone and it's that time of month for her. So I was making jokes about periods ("Menstrual jokes aren't funny. Period.") and she told me to stop. So she eventually gets to asking me about how our school schedule works.
"We're on block schedule."
"Oh. So you guys don't have periods?"
"No, but you do."
I died.
I feel like they are forced.
http://imgur.com/QN9AElv,bwZknVk
The dreams in which I'm dying HELLO DYING I AM DAD
~Dad World
https://twitter.com/sleepwalkingdog/status/559638266220408832
Not mine but I had to share
http://i.imgur.com/c6tMzZH.png
