My wife pulled me aside yesterday. We sat down and she told me she had some news. Honey, I'm pregnant were here exact words.
I responded with hi pregnant, i'm dad.
"No you're not."
I once saw two octopuses that looked the exact same.
They must have been itentacle twins.
What were the odds in 1957 of being the exact stray dog chosen to be the first living thing in space?
Laika million to one
What did one bumper sticker say to the exact same bumper sticker?
We're iden-decals!
If you ask communists for the time, they'll never tell you the exact minute.
If you ask why they'll say: "It's all hours"
they call Gordon Ramsey “raw and uncut,” yet these are the exact words he uses when chewing out the chefs on his show
Exact change makes perfect cents... reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
I've discovered the exact process by which a woman becomes a thot, but I'm having issues explaining it.
No one can follow my thot process.
A teacher told a student that no two people see color in the exact same way.
The student then asked...Does this mean that color is a pigment of your imagination?
My coworker thinks it's amazing that I go poop at the exact same time every day.
I keep telling him I'm just a regular dude.
There is a theory that no two people see a colour the exact same way ipfs.pics/QmZbKhZGWtorqCM…
What do you call an exact copy of you that smells better?
Your cologne.
My wife was yelling and upset with me that I couldn't figure out the exact route to her parents house in Canada from our place in Ohio.
I told her it was border line abuse.
The cashier gave me some coins back after I gave her the exact amount.
I looked at her confused with the coins in my hand and said,
"I paid the exact total. This makes no cents."
It took me an hour to draw an exact 90 degree angle
But I had to get it just right
If scientists made an exact duplicate of Elsa ...
... would it be an Ice Queen Clone?
What do you call an Asian man who is just like Exact Lee?
Sam Ting.
If two people greet each other at the exact same time
It's a "hi" jinx.
Some people are the exact opposite of what they post online...
...maybe they should call it 2facebook
