Punstoppable

Exact Puns

A list of puns related to "Exact"

My wife pulled me aside yesterday. We sat down and she told me she had some news. Honey, I'm pregnant were here exact words.

I responded with hi pregnant, i'm dad.

"No you're not."

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👤︎ u/throwawaymaybeso
📅︎ Sep 04 2020
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I once saw two octopuses that looked the exact same.

They must have been itentacle twins.

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👤︎ u/Ancient_Presence
📅︎ Jun 01 2020
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What were the odds in 1957 of being the exact stray dog chosen to be the first living thing in space?

Laika million to one

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👤︎ u/Y2KoNo
📅︎ Feb 23 2020
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Let me give you my exact location. I am
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Mar 28 2018
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What did one bumper sticker say to the exact same bumper sticker?

We're iden-decals!

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👤︎ u/baloads
📅︎ Dec 07 2019
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If you ask communists for the time, they'll never tell you the exact minute.

If you ask why they'll say: "It's all hours"

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👤︎ u/DragonPupps
📅︎ Nov 06 2019
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they call Gordon Ramsey “raw and uncut,” yet these are the exact words he uses when chewing out the chefs on his show
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👤︎ u/skill_challenge
📅︎ Sep 02 2019
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Exact change makes perfect cents... reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
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👤︎ u/Rslashhuman
📅︎ Nov 04 2019
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I've discovered the exact process by which a woman becomes a thot, but I'm having issues explaining it.

No one can follow my thot process.

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👤︎ u/MightyOtaku
📅︎ Dec 19 2018
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A teacher told a student that no two people see color in the exact same way.

The student then asked...Does this mean that color is a pigment of your imagination?

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👤︎ u/2donutkid2
📅︎ May 09 2019
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My coworker thinks it's amazing that I go poop at the exact same time every day.

I keep telling him I'm just a regular dude.

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👤︎ u/lapants
📅︎ Jul 31 2019
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There is a theory that no two people see a colour the exact same way ipfs.pics/QmZbKhZGWtorqCM…
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👤︎ u/yousosweg
📅︎ Dec 10 2015
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What do you call an exact copy of you that smells better?

Your cologne.

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👤︎ u/Pauls2theWall
📅︎ Sep 14 2018
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My wife was yelling and upset with me that I couldn't figure out the exact route to her parents house in Canada from our place in Ohio.

I told her it was border line abuse.

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👤︎ u/AnnaEd64
📅︎ Aug 31 2018
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The cashier gave me some coins back after I gave her the exact amount.

I looked at her confused with the coins in my hand and said,

"I paid the exact total. This makes no cents."

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👤︎ u/CapnFancyPants
📅︎ Aug 18 2015
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It took me an hour to draw an exact 90 degree angle

But I had to get it just right

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👤︎ u/FlutterB16
📅︎ Dec 05 2017
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If scientists made an exact duplicate of Elsa ...

... would it be an Ice Queen Clone?

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👤︎ u/Crash_86
📅︎ Dec 23 2017
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If two people greet each other at the exact same time

It's a "hi" jinx.

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👤︎ u/NX02GT
📅︎ Oct 23 2016
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Some people are the exact opposite of what they post online...

...maybe they should call it 2facebook

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👤︎ u/thejazz97
📅︎ Jul 05 2016
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