Arrow does pun [x post /r/arrow]
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︎ Nov 16 2014
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
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︎ Jan 10 2021
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing, it's on the house.
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︎ Dec 23 2020
A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
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︎ Dec 05 2020
How does a computer get drunk?
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︎ Jan 26 2021
What does Wonder Woman do before she goes to bed?
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Son: What does bargain mean?
Dad: Well, it means a great deal, actuallyβ¦
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︎ Jan 23 2021
How does a military dad alert his son that a hot lady is nearby?
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︎ Jan 02 2021
What does an egg tell another egg
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︎ Jan 18 2021
When does a joke become a dad joke ?
When it leaves and never comes back
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︎ Dec 19 2020
My son asked me what does gay mean
Me: it's means being happy
Son: so are you gay dad?
Me: no son, I have an wife
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︎ Jan 31 2021
How often does a chemist tell a joke about elements?
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︎ Jan 27 2021
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux
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︎ Dec 29 2020
Does this deserve to be here?
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Does anyone know the best way to remove ice from a windscreen?
I've just used an old discount card I found in my wallet, but I only got 20% off....
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︎ Jan 21 2021
Why does Waldo always wear stripes?
Because he doesn't want to be spotted.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
How much does a chimney cost?
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︎ Dec 25 2020
What does the electrician say when he meditates?
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︎ Dec 18 2020
What does a presidential candidate who cant get his votes up suffer from?
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︎ Nov 04 2020
What does a house wear ?
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︎ Jan 21 2021
What does it all meme?
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︎ Dec 08 2020
How does someone become a conductor?
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︎ Jan 21 2021
How does the moon cut his hair?
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︎ Jan 23 2021
What kind of self-defense does a Jewish Trump supporter practice?
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︎ Jan 05 2021
How does 11+11 equal the same as 10+10?
Because 10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too
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︎ Jan 21 2021
Why does a space rock taste nicer than an earth rock?
Itβs a little meteor.
(Not a dad. But I told this to my dad and he approved)
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︎ Jan 06 2021
How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh?
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︎ Jan 25 2021
8 y/o, "Dad, what does the space needle sew?"
Me, "I dunno, what?"
Her, "The fabric of space time!"
She told me that while we were watching the new years show at the space needle lol.
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︎ Jan 13 2021
How does NASA organise a party?
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︎ Jan 07 2021
If Thursday is a sad day but Friday is even sadder, does that make it a sadder day
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Why does Bernie wear mittens?
To warm Bernieβs handers
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︎ Jan 22 2021
When does a joke become a "dad" joke?
When it becomes apparent.
Credit: My team scrum master.
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︎ Jan 21 2021
What does a deaf gynecologist do?
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︎ Dec 10 2020
What does the hulk wear to bed?
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︎ Jan 29 2021
How long does it take a cow to have a baby?
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︎ Jan 23 2021
What type of a snack does a cannibal eat?
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︎ Jan 24 2021
What kind of car does a sheep like to drive?
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︎ Jan 17 2021
How does James Bondβs doorbell introduce itself?
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder
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︎ Dec 12 2020
What does a subatomic duck say?
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Just got this one from my 90 year old grandma: when does a joke become a dad joke?
... when it is full groan!
(Glad she still has her sense of humor at her age; gives me hope for my future!)
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︎ Jan 22 2021
My son asked me "where does poo come from?" I was a little flustered, but did my best to explain about food, stomach, intestines, digestion, etc.
He looked confused, then stared at me in stunned silence. After a few seconds he asked "And Tigger?"
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︎ Jan 11 2021
When does a joke become a dad joke?
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︎ Jan 29 2021
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
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︎ Jan 20 2021
What does a house wear?
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︎ Jan 17 2021
How does the moon cut its hair?
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︎ Jan 23 2021
How does NASA organize a party?
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︎ Jan 25 2021
What does a subatomic duck say?
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︎ Jan 05 2021
When does a joke become a dad joke?
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︎ Jan 15 2021
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh
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︎ Jan 20 2021
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