I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.

They call themselves Ban Jovi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Manly-Stanley
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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What does a skeleton play in a band?

A Trom-Bone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swagabriel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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Does anyone remember that boy band, 97 Degrees?

They were just a little bit cooler

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoneYoner
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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What does a marching band use to keep their teeth clean?

A tuba toothpaste.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/C0ntrol_Group
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
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"Mom, does Uranus have rings?"

Just his wedding band.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Pun contest. Name our bands next "tour". Get it printed on shirts. Win imaginary gold.

Backstory: I play in a small band that does a "tour" of southern Wisconsin every year. The bands name is the Petty Thieves. This is my first year with them, but every year they come up with a tour name and make nice t-shirts and material with the tour name on them. Last two tour names were "Sticky Fingers" and "Busted!" We are looking for something related to the band name. Something clever and crime related. If it has mild sexual innuendo, all the better, but not overtly obscene. Some tour names we came up with are: Five Finger Discount, Backdoor Tour, Snatching Kisses, Kissing Snatches, Robbing the Cradle, Something something Miss Demeanors, Spread 'em, Felonious Funk, Unlawful Entry, Rhymes against Humanity, etc...

If you have anything punny, please throw it out there. Top 3 upvoted names get reddit gold. If we use your tour name, I'l send you the tshirt. Thanks kind sirs!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dharmon555
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2013
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Went for the long con with my wife

I had a little mishap with a pruning saw in the yard and asked my wife to patch my finger up. She's a nurse, so I figured she'd dress my wound better than I could. She started off with cleaning up the cut with a betadine swab.
Wife: "This might sting a little bit."
Me: Yup. Yup that stings.
Wife: Sing a song. It'll take your mind off of it.
Me: "Roooooxanne, you don't have to put on the red light, Those days are over you don't have to sell your body to the night..."
Wife: sideways look
Me: "Roooooxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight, Walk the streets for money you don't care if it's wrong or if it's right..."
Wife: sideways look
Me: "You know who sings that, right?"
Wife: "Yeah, the Police."
Me: "Who and the Police?"
Wife: "Sting?"
Me: "Yes it does."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/capomatt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2016
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What does Arcade Fire eat for breakfast?

Rococo Puffs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justinsane98
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2014
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Terrible OC Joke

What does the band C&C Music Factory and Ancient Aliens have in common?

Things that make you go Hmmmm... .. . ... . . .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eddsned
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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If Kanye samples "Green Onions" in a track...

...does that make him a rapscallion?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahwitz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2015
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I had just bought my first car and decided to take my dad out for a ride...

It was a used and fairly old car, so it was a little smelly...

Dad: So how many horse power does this car have?

Me: About 250, why?

Dad: I think one of them died.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2014
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Dad Jokes of the 90s

Dad and me, listening to the radio in 1996......Dad: "Who does this song?" Me: "It's Garbage." Dad: "I know, but what's the name of the band?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bradapalooza
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2013
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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They're pretty smelly too.

Scene: Before practice with my band, my drummer and I occasionally sit on the balcony and smoke a cigarette. It's extremely windy and we began to talk about our jackets.

Me: This is why I love my jacket. It keeps me incredibly warm

Drummer: Does it break wind?

Me: Yeah, it's really embarrassing when it decides to fart in public.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSascrotch
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2014
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